|Reviews for Vayls read One More Bite|
| ChibiHako chapter 1 . 3/28
Isn't this contrary to the Rules & Guidelines "Entries Not allowed: 3. MST: comments inserted in between the flow of a copied story. " ?
Also you wrote "He put his stomach around my waist"
I think it's a pity that your fanfic is so short, but consists mostly of the actual book... :(
| Leiria chapter 1 . 2/24/2012
I totally love the Jaz Parks series, so I was totally thrilled to see that there was someone out there who had done a fanfic based on the series. I read your story and I thought that you have a great premise for a beginning, but as a one-shot it's lacking. I also noticed that you decided to quote more of the book than you put in original work, which was rather disappointing. I think you take more time on this and expand on the idea that you have here, this story could become something truly fabulous.