|Reviews for Turning Points: Loyalty|
| amerdism chapter 8 . 3/6
Epic I hope to see more soon
| Matsukaze Tenma chapter 8 . 3/3
This is truly very interesting to read; will there be more chapters to come?
| Aynessa chapter 8 . 2/12
This was truly fascinating. Very intriguing AU idea, with accurate character portrayals. Love it!
| arccie chapter 8 . 10/30/2014
Thoroughly enjoyed the "what if scenario" and where you went with it.
Some interesting twists and turns with a much desired happy ending.
| Rosenkruz chapter 8 . 6/12/2014
I enjoyed this ending better than the real ending. At least Lelouch AND Rolo live in this one.
| ZeronosVega chapter 1 . 6/8/2014
I just wanted to give you resounding "Thank you!" for this chapter. The betrayal of the Black Knights in Turn 19 had always disappointed me because those present at the meeting were so quick to jump on the anti-Zero bandwagon without so much as a second thought. It seemed out of character for most, such as Toudou, while also ignoring facts such as Kirihara's message to Tamaki and the gang from R1.
Your story in just its first chapter has not just presented an awesome premise for a "what-if", but addresses one of my biggest complaints of the series and created a version of it I only wish I could. So again, thank you! I'm looking forward to reading through this excellent story you have written.
| Sapadu chapter 8 . 6/5/2014
…So-o… what was on Nunnally's orders? …Um… what was on that piece of paper? Hello? Chapter, tell us!
Really, that's the one thing that bothers me - that one little detail. I feel like it was supposed to be important but… oh, wait, was THAT how Nunnally told Suzaku to look after Lelouch? How she communicated that she hadn't been fooled? That suddenly explains a lot, really… because, again, I thought the change from 'You betrayed me, abandoned me, and you're no longer my brother' to 'I knew you were just trying to fool us' seemed a little… quick and kind of out of nowhere. But if it had been after Nunnally had seen the results of the trial and everything… wait, does Nunnally break Charles' geass in this one? She did in the last Turning Points and it's kind of a major thing…
Anyhoo, yeah, this is a really good ending. It's just the right balance of heartfelt, heartWRENCHING, and even the littlest touch of irreverent humor (Lelouch leaning against the bars in the prison. Snrk! He would do that, wouldn't he?) It's perfectly balanced, and pretty great, considering all the bumps I complained about in other chapters, which can only mean that it wrapped everything up wonderfully. Now… ON TO THE NEXT ONE!
| Sapadu chapter 7 . 6/5/2014
I like how you characterize Odysseus - he really was useless in the show, but I certainly got the impression that he wasn't a BAD guy just… y'know, on the bad guy's side and really, really neutral. So, having him as so ineffectual, but also really honestly concerned for his siblings, including Nunnally and Schneizel… it's very touching, and very honest. And the third 'Welcome back'/'I'm home'-ish exchange (I understand why it couldn't be 'Tadaima'/'Okeri' like the other two, and that Schneizel doesn't answer back because… well, he's Schneizel) sealed it. I wonder if Odysseus could expand his concern for his siblings into an empathy for all the people under the Empire's rule, maybe he'd be a lot more like Euphie… you certainly set him up in a way that I totally see that happening.
Actually, everyone is characterized properly - I love Kallen's idea to offer Suzaku a means of dying that isn't disgraced (like a samurai, indeed) and the interaction between Suzaku and Lelouch in the end is pretty much perfect for how they might have if the story had gone like this… except it's the ONLY interaction I believe, in the middle of some seriously bi-polar swings for both of them. But, you know what? One utterly, gloriously, PERFECT chapter… I think that's all I really need. I like this. A lot.
| Sapadu chapter 6 . 6/3/2014
All of the Black Knights immediately catching onto the implication of Lelouch and Nunnally as siblings and, instead of turning on him or demanding why he's so personal about it, offering their support… just, aww - right in my feels!
Now, the rest of the chapter… I definitely buy the interplay that goes on between the characters in the negotiation scene. It's very tense, but very believable. And the moment where, as Rolo passes out and Suzaku draws a parallel between Rolo and Euphie… Y'know, that really gets me and that's some GOOD writing there. My only complaint is how quickly Suzaku mellows out and relaxes/lets go of his anger towards Lelouch. I guess, maybe, I can understand it, what with the parallel that Suzaku drew with Rolo and Euphie, and then seeing Lelouch freak out (actually, pretty much exactly as Suzaku did with Euphemia's death, now that I think about it) but it feels rushed. Maybe if you'd kept it until the beginning of the next chapter (and that would have been a KILLER cliffhanger, too) I'd've felt the impact better… or, maybe if Suzaku didn't relax as seriously as he did - like if he'd shown a little compassion, but still kept up his 'I'm still pissed at you, because of Euphie, yadda yadda yadda' just a little more… especially considering in the next chapter, he goes RIGHT back to it… it felt a little rough. But that's about all - the rest of this is very solid, both the political drama and the melodrama.
| Sapadu chapter 5 . 6/3/2014
Something about this fic that I noticed was the politics - admittedly, I don't know much about politics, but then again, from how this fic (and numerous other fiction that I've enjoyed) portrays it, it seems to be as much a game of reading and pleasing people and basically tightrope walking all sorts of social morays and rules of etiquette (guess that explains why a trope of princess training is etiquette lessons) so… of course I'm not going to understand it, what with the fact that I don't understand people. But you write these situations in such a way that, even when I DON'T understand it (for example, the subtle difference Lelouch mentioned in the last chapter about 'having power' vs 'influencing power') I can still follow along with the plot and characters. And, it also shows that you're willing to write in such a way that it gives your audience enough credit that they can figure it out, as opposed to feeling the need to spell it out because you think your readers won't understand. That's nice.
But onto this chapter… um… I'll admit, the moments between Lelouch and Nunnally are the big ones - both when Schneizel reveals she's still alive and when Lelouch finally talks to her… and, while the emotion is definitely strong and I FEEL for these characters… something just seems off. Maybe it's because, immediately after discovering that Nunnally's alive, Lelouch's reaction is to demand Suzaku as a hostage (and, given the emotions written in the rest of the chapter, I buy that it's an actually angry demand, as in "I want his head, but since I can't get that, I'll take him as a hostage" way)… but just last chapter, he was showing "concern" for Suzaku by refusing to make him into Schneizel's scapegoat… it feels too extreme in a change… and likewise, for Suzaku, in the scene where Nunnally talks to Lelouch, I see this strange dichotomy of Suzaku feeling utter disdain and loathing for Lelouch, and this odd sympathy, as though he's starting to see through the mask… but they're played back to back, which was NOT true of his character - he was more of an "all or nothing" when it came to his relationship with Lelouch, and tension and progressive change was more his style, as opposed to Lelouch's conflicting "I love you but I hate you" style. So… yeah it was pretty jarring to have him seem to switch so violently, back and forth.
But one line that I absolutely adored from this chapter: "You won't believe the truth, Lelouch. So accept the lie." I mean… wow, doesn't that just sum up the entire SHOW? The theme of truth and lies, perception of reality and self-deception, and all sorts of other 'ceptions'… just… ooh, I love it.
| Sapadu chapter 4 . 6/3/2014
The very first scene in this chapter, from Lelouch returning to the ship to the moment where Rolo kinda sorta hugs him is a CROWNING moment of heartwarming - it just makes me feel so good inside, every time I read it. From how Kaguya pounces on him (lol) to Tamaki (again, making Tamaki a useful goddamn character!) breaking the tension and cracking a joke, to the "Okeri/Tadaima" exchange (again! D'aww) to the Black Knights cheering for Lelouch (And that doubles as AWESOME - it actually reminds me of the scene from Game of Thrones where the soldiers start cheering for Tyrion "Half-man! Half-man! Half-man!" it's that damn good.) I love it, I love it, I love it!
But what else… well, since the rest of the chapter is almost entirely focused on Suzaku… actually, he's very well characterized AND written. It is TOTALLY believable how much disdain he holds for Lelouch in this chapter AND as a bonus, we see Lelouch from his perspective, which allows the reader to speculate, along with Suzaku, just what the hell is going on inside his head. It's really well done… but it's really just this one chapter, coming off the heels of the chapter that featured all the bs from the show that made me groan and in the next chapter… hmmm...
| Sapadu chapter 3 . 6/3/2014
Two things - one, how you write Marianne's character. In the show, there was so much build-up to her, in how Lelouch thought of her, and CC's "conversations" with her, and other character's flashbacks that, when she did show up for just a BRIEF couple of episodes, it was a MASSIVE letdown. I'm glad you kept enough of what was in the show, but give her funny dialogue and enough personality that at least she's not boring. Two - Bismark, the Knight of One (and, given what SUZAKU had to do to reach Knight of SEVEN status…) and all he's got on his conscious are white lies and forgotten birthdays? Um… Yeah, I don't know what to think of that, unless you were just referring to how useless his character was in the series…
But, onto the characterization problems… and I think I'll start with Lelouch's - in this chapter, particularly, I feel like you make him a little too… bipolar. He seems to flip between the extremely sympathetic and tragic persona (wanting to protect Nunnally and Suzaku and other people he cares about, but also being way in over his head and showing little hints that he has some affection for Suzaku still) and the extremely villainous persona (him saying that he utterly hates Suzaku and he's angry and he wants vengeance and to destroy Britannia) And while those ARE both true of his character, you've done a better job in other fics in balancing them, or in combining them entirely in the same scene, where the reader can feel the conflict raging inside Lelouch's head. Are we supposed to be able to read between the lines here? I guess that could work, and I have no problem reading that into his character, especially after coming here, fresh off of your first 'Turning Points' story… but it feels a little underplayed and rushed, and if this were to work as a standalone piece… yeah, I'd miss it, completely. It's still good, just… confused.
| Sapadu chapter 2 . 5/31/2014
"Tadaima." "Okeri." I love that interaction. I actually really love how you constantly reinterpret Kallen and Lelouch's relationship - keeping grains of what was in the show, but expanding it and making it slightly different each time. I especially like that you manage to still keep Kallen interesting instead of turning her into the 'Oh, she's the girl character written to be our main character's love interest.'
Also, I failed to mention it in the last chapter, but I like how you opened with Diethard - Yes, I liked Diethard when I didn't like Gino. Go ahead and shoot me - but the man was voiced by Joji Nakata/Jamieson Price. I knew I was gonna like him from the moment he opened his mouth and I heard the Count of Monte Cristo from Gankutsuou come out.
But back to this chapter. I do rather like how you keep sort of the same spirit of the original episode, but obviously have altered the events, and keep the perspectives in such a way that it adds to the confusion… but thereby adds to the drama and tension. For example, Lelouch's reactions to waking up on Kamine with CC and Anya(Marianne) are spot on, both emotionally and logically… only for Marianne to slap him and dismiss his (very correct) accusations as 'Throwing a tantrum' because of how it strikes this balance between how an audience might be logically thinking and agree with Marianne, but emotionally, wouldn't care and might actually agree with Lelouch's response. And the scene with Suzaku showing up and how all of the characters bounce off of each other (I gotta wonder, while Lelouch and Suzaku are having their spat, are Marianne and CC passing a bag of popcorn between them as they watch?) And I also love how you keep both Lelouch and Suzaku in the dark about what's REALLY going on, while we in the audience absolutely KNOW where this is going. That said… I have some… problems, with the characterization of these two, in general. I'll cover those in the next chapter.
| Sapadu chapter 1 . 5/28/2014
I notice you take quite a bit of liberty with the script of Turn 19 here. I actually sat down and re-watched the episode (and I have yet to watch pretty much ANY of R2 again, because it really wasn't entertaining for me.) And the reason I did that is because I was looking for how the individual characters you mentioned reacted to the Reveal. And the change you made that I really, really, really, REALLY adored was… TAMAKI being the one to make the comment that turns everyone into a… neutral stance. Of course, Toudou has a good deal of common sense in his character that was remarkably absent from the show, but Tamaki's the one who it FEELS like he sways the conversation by bringing up Kirihara. And I fucking love it. This is SO refreshing compared to what happened in the show, and it feels true to their characters, as well - the writers really did drop the ball, mostly expecting us to buy it as 'heat of the moment, they're all under stress' and it really failed. Not this - this still has them all under EXTREME amounts of pressure and stress and it could be SO easy to snap, but none of them are quite willing to betray who they are as people - not for this. And it's wonderful. I love this story. A lot.
| Nixie the Bloody Pixie chapter 1 . 5/21/2014
Sweet baby Jesus, Lulu is frigging ninja about this!