Reviews for In a Heartbeat
Draconic chapter 1 . 7/10/2012
I'm guessing that you used a combination of referring to Samus' inner dialogue during Other M and your own emotions during that particular scene. It's probably one of the most stressful SA-X escapes, if not THE most stressful one. I knew that I was inexplicably terrified. There was no reason for me to be scared but the way you had to button mash to ascend those steppes and open those gates at the same time really conveys Samus' desperation in that moment. I really liked this, she was perfectly in character.
CatOfTheHunterMoon chapter 1 . 5/18/2012
I really love how you help the reader understand how samus might have really felt in this situation,the details wre so intense i got a litte scared for really shed a diffrent light on this small but important part of the game. :D

CatOfTheHunterMoon
Overlord Jake chapter 1 . 2/25/2012
Definitely a good reaction to SA-X. I actually thought Samus would be scared of that thing anyway.

Seriously, SA-X is freaking scary!
Insomniac By Choice chapter 1 . 2/25/2012
The trouble for me is that this isn't a real story, it's more like a novelization of a section of Metroid Fusion. In general, I'm not a big fan of those, although they can be well done. I don't feel like this was. There's no sense of atmosphere or fear or danger, just events and action.

In media res is a good technique for something like this, or can be, but you still have to make it so that it's intelligible to people who haven't played Fusion or not even know about Metroid. That doesn't mean you have to explain everything about the SA-X, in fact just the opposite would be better so that readers can have different levels of understanding. But as is, this doesn't work.

My suggestion would be to go for the feel of Alien, in that the SA-X is an unknown terror and focus on the descriptions of claustrophobia and fear rather than missiles.
Brennan4 chapter 1 . 2/8/2012
This was very good. You managed to merge the personality of Samus and the player of Metroid Fusion itself very nicely. The story is short, sweet, and to the point. I would be curious to see you give other parts of the game this treatment.
Ceu Praca chapter 1 . 2/7/2012
I, personally, really liked this. I don't know much abuot to SA-X myself, aside from what's on the Wikitroid, but I loved the story, and you are pretty darn good at portraying Samus. Good work. :)