Reviews for Counted Among the Traitors
Purple Treetop chapter 4 . 6/24
This story's really well written. I love how you've described the Pevensie's relationship and you've got their characters spot on.
I know I'm only on chapter 4 but Gilfrey's got to be the baddy. He has had access to Peter's office and is in the perfect place to start rumours. He was also there when Peter was with the giants, something I find suspicious. And the Black Dwarf in the wine cellar: Gilfrey could easily have bribed it to lie for him in court (if it was the same dwarf) and then killed him so no one was aware of the fact that he was a traitor. And as for Lucy's illness, I've got far too many theory's for that and I would much rather get back to reading.
Thank you for sharing this.
Guest chapter 12 . 12/12/2017
Gil's the baddie...

My assumptions... bite me if I'm wrong.
FriendofNarnia chapter 20 . 10/28/2017
Wow...this is my second time reading through this fic and I love it more than ever. Edmund's character was captured spot-on...all his pain and his sorrow and his cool courage. And Peter, delirious and repentant, Susan, trying to be brave, and Lucy, plucky and bright to the last.
"the hint of a cool smile"
"May He have mercy on your soul."
Thank you for bringing justice on Gilfrey. I've been waiting for that since the first chapter.
Although I did think of another loophole...the trees...I thought they were going to be ambushed by trees as soon as they reached the "cover" *coughcough* of the forest. But the Gentle Queen and the best archer in the land is delightful too!

God bless
Another sad Legolas lover chapter 21 . 9/11/2017
I absolutely loved this fic, although it was so hard watching the Pevensies slowly work their way through it even though we readers knew it was Gil all along! The relationship between the siblings is absolutely adorable and I loved the way you wrote it. I'll have to check out your other fics!
Fabro de Omres chapter 21 . 7/22/2017
This was a great read! Couldn't stop after I read the first chapter.
Nock and Bolt chapter 21 . 7/21/2017
Thank you for writing this-it was such a pleasure to read. Good on you for making it extremely frustrating through most of it, too. That sounds weird, but what I mean to say is that in fanfiction, a lot of people oversimplify things and make whatever has to be done far too easy to accomplish, but it is the struggle that makes the triumph meaningful. You are a wonderful writer and understand Narnia and especially Aslan better than most, and I applaud your portrayal of all the Pevensies (especially Edmund). Really touching story.

If that was too much fawning over your work for you to handle, I do have a couple comments of "constructive criticism." Really, they're more friendly suggestions than anything...but anyways. I think it would have been more interesting if you had added an element of mystery to who was behind everything (it was kind of immediately clear that Gilfrey was the main baddie from chapter one-that, or I'm just naturally distrustful). Tossing out a few red herrings and misleading avenues of investigation like old supporters of the White Witch or an organization of usurpers would have kept the readers on their toes. At that point you could have used the time spent on false leads to get the readers to trust (or at least dismiss) Gilfrey, so that his deceit, when revealed, would be all the more shocking. If you really wanted to challenge yourself, you could have kept the readers in the dark on whether or not Edmund was actually innocent, at least for a while. That might have unnecessarily complicated things, but like I said, these are just my thoughts on it.

The only other thing I have to say is slightly ironic, considering how frustrating I have mentioned your story was-the resolution seemed too easy. Not to say the whole ordeal was easily resolved by any means, it just seemed rather abrupt (especially since I was sort of expecting Ed and Lu to have to find hard proof/evidence of Gilfrey's misdeeds, with ample trials and obstacles thrown in their way, of course). I don't know, maybe it just seemed that way because everything else in your story was just so dang hard to accomplish. ;) Overall, though, it was an excellent piece of writing. Keep up the good work.
PSW chapter 21 . 2/1/2017
So, this is really after the fact, I know, but o just wanted to say that I really enjoyed this. I especially think you wrote Asian very well here...

Thanks so much for your work on this (years ago though it may be... :-).
Firelily10 chapter 11 . 1/17/2017
First of all, absolutely love this story and I can’t wait to finish! Lovely use of allusions, both Biblical and *woot woot* Shakespearean! I just read Isaiah 41: 9-13 and you’re right, it fits so perfectly! I also suggest reading Isaiah 40:29-31. It popped into my head as soon as I read Aslan’s reference. I used to sing Isaiah 40 as part of a worship song as a child in chapel, and I remembered it and it fit almost as perfectly as Isaiah 41! It reads: “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Just thought I’d share that with you. Keep up the good work!
aqaws321 chapter 14 . 12/25/2016
I just. This story is stupendous. I love the way you portray the characters, their struggles are written sublimely. My favorite chapters are 14 and 15, and I have re-read this story multiple times- sometimes only those two chapters, sometiems part, sometimes the whole story- because of the way you wonderfully portray the struggles that the Pevensies face.

I especially admire the way you write Edmund's struggle with the Hag, and also your consistent portrayal of Aslan. It's consistent with what we see in the books, and, I don't know, something about it just draws me in.

This story is amazing, stupendous, wonderful- I cannot find the words to describe it. And you are an amazing author to have written this.
whatswiththemustache chapter 21 . 12/12/2016
Aaaaand the end. That was quick, but only because I raced through this story so fast. Honestly, though, this was AMAZING. Ugh, I loved it. Certainly the best Narnia story that I've read on this site, anyway. So intense! And so well written! And your characterizations were practically perfect! (i can only deal out one tiny criticism, and say that I wasn't 100% sold on Susan's behavior. But, I'm one of those 'Susan didn't forget' people, so, y'know. I was maybe 85% sold. But I just didn't think Susan wouldn't have thought even once to call for Aslan..anyway.) Heh, back to compliments. This story was so good. Excellent idea, excellently executed, and especially ESPECIALLY the first few chapters ...so gloriously angsty. So good. But yeah. This was terrific! I loved every moment of this exciting tale. Thank you so much for sharing.
whatswiththemustache chapter 12 . 12/12/2016
GILFREY. You utter snake. And Lucy! Omgosh this is so instense! Love this story, holy crap.
whatswiththemustache chapter 21 . 12/12/2016
Aaaaand the end. That was quick, but only because I raced through this story so fast. Honestly, though, this was AMAZING. Ugh, I loved it. Certainly the best Narnia story that I've read on this site, anyway. So intense! And so well written! And your characterizations were practically perfect! (i can only deal out one tiny criticism, and say that I wasn't 100% sold on Susan's behavior. But, I'm one of those 'Susan didn't forget' people, so, y'know. I was maybe 85% sold. But I just didn't think Susan wouldn't have thought even once to call for Aslan..anyway.) Heh, back to compliments. This story was so good. Excellent idea, excellently executed, and especially ESPECIALLY the first few chapters ...so gloriously angsty. So good. But yeah. This was terrific! I loved every moment of this exciting tale. Thank you so much for sharing.
whatswiththemustache chapter 12 . 12/12/2016
GILFREY. You utter snake. And Lucy! Omgosh this is so instense! Love this story, holy crap.
whatswiththemustache chapter 9 . 12/8/2016
IVE SAID THIS BEFORE AND IM GOING TO KEEP SAYING IT THIS STORY IS KILLING ME ITS SO GOOD IM DYING DEAD ACKKKK
whatswiththemustache chapter 8 . 12/8/2016
ITS YOU GILFREY ITS YOU THIS IS ALL YOU UGH THIS IS SO (i can't even this story is incredible and heartbreaking and just...just...i cant)
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