|Reviews for Under My Skin|
| Guest chapter 5 . 8/31
Uh I didn't get a job after high school, and I never dye my hair myself, even if it's a playful colour. I get bleached and then coloured at a luxury salon, I go every 4 weeks, so my roots don't come through
| Guest chapter 4 . 8/31
U don't have o have a natural birth, u can have a hospital birth with pain medicine...
| Quis Custodiet chapter 19 . 8/14
This story was written okay. By that I mean the prose is mostly on point, the grammar is fine and the pacing is relatively decent.
I think however it has two fundamental flaws.
First, Helga is imminently unlikable throughout most of the story. Part of what makes her endearing in the original show is that she really DOES have good intentions. She wants to try and be better. She promises herself that she's going to be nice to Arnold. It's just that things never seem to quite work out for her that way - either someone else ruins her attempt, or she trips over her own insecurities. None of that really came through in the Helga we were presented with. Instead, I would classify her as mostly narcissistic and incapable of giving love, only taking it. If you think about it a bit more, you'll understand that while the original Helga didn't have the greatest ways of telling Arnold she loves him, when it came down to it, she could definitely prove it. That's why people root for her.
Secondly, and I think this is due to the disconnect between Helga and the audience, the story feels like it lacks a sense of rising action. This is actually something I've seen a lot of in fan fiction, hell it's a problem I struggle with a lot myself in my own poor attempts at writing, but there's no real climax to the story here. No rising push to the "next level" on the back of a dramatic scene. Even at the final "argument" in the last chapter, it didn't feel like either character grew, or overcame a part of them selves, or some outside problem - it just felt like they decided "Oh, well we should just make up and get on with it."
Anyway, I think you did all right, especially for a fanfiction. I can't say I didn't like the story, after all I did read it all the way to the end and I did feel compelled to write a review and I do hope you keep writing. After all, I think you have some real talent here that just needs to be refined.
Cheers and thanks,
| Guest chapter 19 . 5/5
A nice fic, well written but at times it seemed like you were being so careful not to let it become a cliched highschool story that it went too far the other way and lacked a lot of emotion. I felt Helga was really unlikeable throughout the majority of the story, i only have so much patience for a character who complains constantly about their baggage, espe ially when her complaining and angsting is to a guy who just found out his parents died in a pretty gruesome way. Its just a shame because it's Helga, not Arnold, whose the audience's gateway into the show. But she was really hard to sympathize with here. Just my two cents. Great overall fic though, lots of fun ups and downs.
| Yardbird9 chapter 19 . 2/22
Well-done story! It sorta ended abruptly, but you know the old saying that all good stories must come to an end.
I really like how you handled the interaction between Arnold and Helga. It was very credible. It was exactly how I would want both characters to be in a story.
I also like that you had Rhonda and Lila in the story, in which both characters were civil, even to the point of being friendly with Helga. Other writers like to have Rhonda, Lila, or both to be some angry, evil...well...I wont go any further. Thanks again
The other characters were very good, too...with one exception...
I don't understand why some writers like to portray Eugene being gay. The series never had him as such. However, it is your story, to write it as you feel.
But I would like for you to read 2 of my stories with Eugene.
"HERO" is all about Eugene and "Forgiveness" has him in a small part with Sheena, but you will see once you read it.
But other than this, a very good story.
| kalun.gengchul chapter 3 . 9/13/2016
XD LOL Arnold is totally the girl in every relationship XDD
| asiastana chapter 19 . 4/20/2016
Ahhhhhhhhh. This was such a sweet story, I loved the characterization. It was really realistic and didn't feel over the top! :)
| llazo4108824 chapter 19 . 10/1/2015
I love this fanfic and you should make more chapters of this fanfic pleases.
| Guest chapter 19 . 8/23/2015
I like the story overall not the best ending but it's still a good story I probably would have ended somewhere after prom or graduation.
P.S. for fun I will probably add it Lila X Rhonda. Both have problems with your love life so they changed team's.
| toukarinluv4ever chapter 19 . 4/13/2014
| Lewis-Sama chapter 19 . 11/29/2013
| india collins chapter 19 . 7/18/2013
that was beatiful story an it always turned out so optimisticly loving and challenging it all felt soo real like tnats my story
| silver0aries chapter 19 . 11/26/2012
Thank you for writing this! I just finished it and I loved it so much :) Thank you! It was amazing
| Mackenzie P. Cha chapter 5 . 11/21/2012
The last part felt too familiar to what happened between Ron and Hermione in Harry Potter, even the words they had used.
| Usha chapter 19 . 11/19/2012
That was an abrupt ending. What happened to Brainy?