|Reviews for The Drabble Collection|
| Vietta chapter 6 . 5/18/2012
This fanfiction is adorable! I love it! I hope you continue and give us more short stories!
| x chapter 5 . 5/17/2012
Oh, I forgot to say that I love the setting. This must take place in between their lost six years. I always hunger for this fill-in-the-blanks stories. Thank you.
Though it might be redundant, please allow me to say that all descriptions on the boys playing around are so delicious.
| x chapter 5 . 5/17/2012
Whoaaaaa...so hilariously interesting!
I really really love how you dealt with the boys' competitive nature. They are competing, yet it's still on a reasonable level. Usually, Hiroki's pride issues get to be a catalyst that turns a friendly game into some nasty bickering. Thank you for taking this avenue.
So Hiroki wins the game fair and square? Whoaaa...I'm so happy! I must admit I'm rather wary of people making Hiroki cheat in order to win. Hiroki's pride wouldn't let him live it down. And he's got a strong sense of honor. Not that I'm saying it's totally impossible when it's Nowaki he's playing with.
Very heartwarming to see Hiroki moving from irritated, determined, playful, prideful, then shy and embarrassed. I so love how you refrained from making Hiroki gloat his victory. It's so beautiful to me. Thank you.
"Nowaki learned that Hiroki liked to do three things: eat, sleep, and read." Hahahaha...you summed up Hiroki most admirably! Again, I so love how you made this seemingly boring routines into something so adorably Hiroki.
Nowaki..oh Nowaki...the way his world revolves around Hiroki...you showed this in a perfect balance of love and rationality. His earlier "leniency" ends up biting him in the neck. I am aware that in most cases, Nowaki is painted as saint-like and a super human for valid reasons. But I truly appreciate this more human Nowaki, feeling amusedly confused and all. So refreshing.
The height issue is also played nicely. Not too much. Just perfect.
All descriptions on Nowaki wanting and loving to see Hiroki's beautiful snarls and scowls are so sweet. It's very amusing that Nowaki prefers such expressions to Hiroki's "heavy mask of pride and aloof masculinity". These all have negative connotations, I suppose, and the fact that Nowaki accepts them as parts of Hiroki and loves them all speaks of a great love. Beautiful.
The bits of humor are so much fun. Casual and smart. There's also Hiroki's keen perceptiveness and Nowaki's dreamy fantasies. Really nice dynamics going here.
Did I read right that Hiroki "cheered and danced around the court"? Hahahaha...I'm not sure about it ever happening but it reminds me of the egoists playing in the snow. Glad to see you brought up Hiroki's carefree nature for a bit.
I don't know that PIG game/rules so I'll just take your word for the fun games *smiles*
The ending is such a pleasant surprise. I cannot tell you how happy I am to see Hiroki taking the initiatives. His veiled invitations are so so adorable. Gosh, you made me love this couple even more. Thank you so much!
You have a wonderful way with words. Lovely, witty, poetic, with a certain realistic bite to them that made your text a joy to read.
Thank you so much!
| Annalisse Rubisher chapter 6 . 5/17/2012
OMG! How cute these chapters are!
A seductive Hiro-chan...
A submissive Micchan...
Aweeee! So kawaii!
Please continue these magnificent drabbles, sensei!
| x chapter 4 . 3/10/2012
I admire your choices of egoist moments to explore aspects of egoist relationship. This particular moment has been intriguing me for a long time. I've always wanted to know what happened after their first time together.
The conflict you portrayed on Hiroki's part really gets to me and inflicts in me mixed emotions that even until now I cannot fully describe (I've read this numerous times).
Thank you for writing egoist with egoist love and I look forward to reading more.
| Don't Preach chapter 4 . 2/27/2012
You do such an amazing job with the egoists offering a very real feeling and yet refreshingly different depiction of the couple from how they are so often written.
You have captured so beautifully and poignantly the contrast between an older jaded man, wearied by the worlds passions and his fresh, innocent younger lover, awash in the enthusiasm of these same passion's newness.
Nowaki's earnest entreaty and Hiroki's fearful resistance is simultaneously heartbreaking and hopeful.
"But for Hiroki, it was tricky—exposing one's heart and sharing his body had always been exclusive action." Loved this (but should action be plural?)
Once again your details bring so much to the piece: the headboard, the city noises.
"Hiro-san," that slightly hoarse voice murmured from below. "That...I've never done something like that before in my whole life. It was wonderful." A large hand moved up and down Hiroki's balmy thigh, thumbs rolling over every sensual dip and curve of flesh and muscle.
"Hiroki hummed in response, his irritation soothed by the purring voice of drowsiness. He honestly couldn't speak-or move for that matter. Every muscle in his body had been melted in their inferno, leaving him a pool of passion and sheer, utter love. Not that he wanted to think of his paralysis as a side of effect of such an embarrassing thing-it didn't hit him until he caught a glimpse of Nowaki's adoring smile fixed on his eyes and his mind reproduced a stream of hazy memories. Hiroki squirmed at the thought that he allowed Nowaki, his nineteen-year-old tutoring student, into his bedroom-especially with that word attached."
What a pure and profound expression of postcoital bliss! Simply beautiful in its weight an languidness (I know that word "postcoital"is meant specifically for female penetration, but I have found no anal complement, so please forgive its misuse here).
"That was something that Hiroki never experienced-an expression of new unity so profound it caused his skin to prickle and his heart to gallop. Then the lump in his throat began to wind itself tighter and tighter until he was choking and he could barely breathe. You're together now...you're one.
It frightened him.
It reassured him.
He was falling."
Just a wonderful chapter all the way around. Thank you for writing such intelligent Egoist.*bows*
| Don't Preach chapter 3 . 2/27/2012
A lovely Romantica bit.
Akihiko reflection about his desire for solitude and his sweet Misaki is so aptly put. The little bit of banter between the couple is great and so IC. (Loved the bit about the sand.)
It seems very much like something Akihiko would be inclined to do, replacing bad memories with Misaki memories. I like the added bit of back story about the author purchasing the property from his mother. What a wonderful detail.
"Akihiko snorted. The teddy bear had already had his innocence dirtied years ago and now he was almost an inevitable bystander. Sex without Suzuki's presence, was not proper sex at all." I was simply delighted by this passage.
The citrus was crisp, sweet and tart simultaneously. Well played.
Wonderful piece over all.
| Annalisse Rubisher chapter 4 . 2/27/2012
How fluffy! Awe!
| x chapter 2 . 2/22/2012
I have a very weak heart for this egoist time line. The confusion, the longing, the anger, the depression, the defeated acceptance and so much more Hiroki must have felt are just too much to take. Now I have this chapter to imagine when Hiroki says “You have no idea how I felt during the past year.” in that library scene. I must thank you for ‘taming’ this ‘lame’ subject and bringing out the beauty of it.
Emotional choice of words. Subtle comparisons and contrasts. I’m not sure about Hiroki being a ‘doll’ as he is passionate and vibrant by nature and he is very ‘man’ in every meaning of the word, but I understand the reason underlying the concept.
So wonderful to show that Hiroki ‘did care’. That is the bottom of the matter. And the label of “Super Kusama.” Hiroki really has a thing for nicknames
| x chapter 1 . 2/22/2012
This chapter is filled with sweet melancholy and nostalgia. I like the slow pace and the quiet atmosphere. Also the beautiful diction and the novel choice of setting.
The concept of ‘staying the same’ said at high school graduation and ‘changing’ seen in real life afterward is emotional and you did a marvelous job in portraying the turbulence and the reflection through a sequence of actions.
I like the ever-standing wall as a silent witness for the passage of time and how people perceive it differently after some time lapsed.
It tugs my heart that Hiroki sometimes wonders about those moments with Akihiko but it’s heartwarming that it’s of reflective nature, one without regrets. And I’m glad Akihiko isn’t there
Of course I love the sweet and playful egoist interactions. And the implication that they’ve met Hiroki’s parents.
Thank you very much.
| Annalisse Rubisher chapter 3 . 2/15/2012
Wow, I love this drabble the most, since it involved Romantica :)
The other two were great, it's just my personal preference for Romantica more than anything else. Positively beautiful writing!
| Silent Sentimentality chapter 2 . 2/13/2012
Your feel for emotion and illustrating that in words amazes me. I suggest replacing the interior monologue with movement. Instead of saying what Hiroki thinks, consider expounding on what Hiroki does. This suggestion allows you to explore the intricacies of Hiroki's character and draws the reader to sympathize with him. At times, your metaphors and similes were thought out well, but they contrasted with their conventional perceptions a little too sharply for my tastes. I look forward to your future work! XD
| Silent Sentimentality chapter 1 . 2/13/2012
This story is indescribably beautiful. The reminiscing atmosphere is fluid and profoundly poignant. You have a sense of emotion that is translated in your story with flawless clarity. The sheer brilliance of how you balance the present and past, alluding to the future with subtle words, is truly admirable. The ending was heartwarming and you keeping Misaki out of the story kept the focus on Hiroki. I would like to note that male cicadas chirp to court female cicadas in the summer, but this is a small speck of dirt on a beautiful painting. Please write more as you find the time. XD
| Don't Preach chapter 2 . 2/12/2012
I have to say I take offense to your description of this as "lame and tame." You have tackled a section of the egoist timeline that is so intriguing and yet under-explored and have written it so beautifully.
All Hiroki's thoughts seem so IC and you have written him wonderfully, showing both his hard and soft sides, his strength and fragility. There are so many lovely lines in this fic... all these little amazing moments.
I will say I did find the expression "globs of tears" somewhat odd as "globs" to me refers to something material and not liquid. However... after this little hiccup in my perception...
The comments on Miyagi and his drama I thought were very apt. The contrast of presence and absence in the two professors' lives was so vivid an the imagery you employed as striking.
The "Super Kusama" nickname that does seem fitting and Hiroki's giving the younger man his space to pursue his goals seems in keeping with personality.
The speculation on the possible offense and the apology with the mandate to attend well... a man date... again so IC and the inclusion of a more masculine interest like baseball was a wonderful detail.
I too have wondered how long it would take for Hiroki to conclude that something heinous might have happened to his lover and how he would pursue this... what he might do to try and find Nowaki. I know the manga shows him calling the Kusama orphanage and finding out about Nowaki studying abroad. I am curious where you might see this fitting into your timeline?
"Nowaki wasn't the type to just get up and leave without saying anything. He always told Hiroki about what he was doing in his classes, how his job was working out, whether or not he decided to have green tea or black with his breakfast that morning." This observation by Hiroki as it reveals so much about both Nowaki's nature and Hiroki's knowledge of his boyfriend. Just super.
The way you described Miyagi was brilliant and a new or often overlooked read on his character:"Miyagi was weird and poetic and scared him a little with his artsy fartsyness." Relished that.
"It unburied the stomach churning memories of his life before Nowaki—memories of being forgotten, bound by chains of isolation and unrequited love." So profound and yet so obvious that this must come up for Hiroki.
"He did care," that is the pain of it all... to let someone in after longing for so long only to have him evaporate... Loved the "monologue of flowing tears" and "they belonged immured on the shelves of someone else's heart." wonderful word combinations...powerful descriptors.
"He dug the heels of his palms into his eye sockets, muttering, "Where the fuck are you?"" I could picture this so clearly and this image has such a tactile sense to it... so powerful.
The end was amazing...
So as you can probably ascertain I found this chapter quite engaging... Hope all your others are so "lame and tame", because seriously... this moved me.
| Don't Preach chapter 1 . 2/12/2012
I have to say I am loving this fic. Thank you so much for writing these lovely egoist pieces.
This was so great to see and how refreshing to have a different site in Hiroki's past other than the secret place in the woods.
The descriptions are wonderful and you set the scene so beautifully.
The immediate intricacies of the egoist relationship that you immediately begin to reveal: Hiroki's waiting/not waiting is wonderful.
Relished the mention of Hiroki's parents and their adjusting, so wonderful to see them knowing about Hiroki's relationship and Nowaki getting the chance too meet them at long last.
The interaction between Akihiko and Hiroki was so poignant as well as the considerations of how both have changed. But I must say I am happy Akihiko was not there. It is time for Hiroki to leave the past behind and Nowaki is his future.
I also like how this so characterizes my perceptions of the characters: Hiroki as ever faithful, Akihiko as undependable.
What an interesting depiction of Nowaki as liking something like "Saw" never would have imagined it. I must saw you do write a wonderful banter for the pair though.
Touching, sweet, nostalgic, poetic. I am sure I could find more adjectives to describe this lovely chapter. Simply marvelous.