|Reviews for Bitter Memories|
| Krag chapter 1 . 7/27/2004
I really like the story. You should probably continue with the scene with Ukyou and the training that follows. Inserting Happosai's arival would be good as well. He hasn't been seen yet and it only seems natural to bring him in now.
| Babs Yerunkle chapter 1 . 10/22/2003
Okay, the prophetic dream (and wish that triggered it) are a decent gimick to set the thing up.
THIS IS GREAT.
I really like the Ranma-allied-with-Kuno plot. Not love, not romance (I've seen both of those before, bizarre as it sounds), but respectful allies. Well, Ranma may not have tons of respect, but he's bound to get closer to Tate-chan as they continue as allies. This is just so weird that it's really neat!
Besides, it's funny to watch Ranma maneuvering Kuno through deceptive truths (or as-close-as-you-can-get-to-truth, like "I'm Ranko's brother.")
Similarly, the work to turn Ryouga from enemy-foil into ally is fascinating.
Is it comedy? Is it the weirdest team-up ever? Is it drama, to watch Ranma struggle up through a sea of troubles? Is it all of this? Yes. And it's great.
Finally, for the script-vs-prose debate: Well, sure, I prefer prose. But plainly your strength lies in dialog and conversation. I can't really argue with that. Prose would increase your readership, since people are more familiar and comfortable with it. I don't think it's a big issue, but plainly some people do.
I think I'd like you to continue on any of your unfinished stories - they're all great.
| Praeceps chapter 1 . 5/3/2003
Nice story. It's different from your others, but it has the same interesting quality. I seriusly suggest you continue writing on it.
Though Ranma's personality is a bit harsh, it generaly suits the story, and makes it more interesting trying to predict how he will react to certain situations. I do miss some action from his side though (if he fends off all threats beforehand, how will he get any better, even if Cologne trains him).
I liked the bit about Akane's training at the end (the possiblities are practially endless **snicker**)
Keep it up, I'm hoping to see more of this story soon! :-)
| SirBino chapter 1 . 5/21/2002
I like the possibilities this fic has, and unlike your other three reviewers, I have no real problem with reading it in script format. Please keep going.
| N. Reynolds chapter 1 . 5/18/2002
Ok, 3 people in a row telling me the same thing. Even I'm not dim enough to ignore that. From now on I'm going to stick to prose, except for short stories. I'm a little loath to try to rewrite this as prose, but I'll give it a shot soon, and also break it up into chapters.
Thank you, all three of you for taking the time to comment. I really appreciate it.
| Fro chapter 1 . 5/18/2002
I would like to give you my thoughts about your story. I have always enjoyed the ranma gets his life in order and though it is extremely out of character, yet with a good story line and dedication one can pull this endevor off. The only complaints I have on your story is the script concept, unless you are really comforatable with writing in script format you really should refrain from doing so. Second, your story concepts seems interesting and I would enjoy reading more of your work.
| neko-chama chapter 1 . 5/17/2002
ARG! I can't read this anymore. There are so many things about this.
1) Script format, for this, sucks and does not convey the emotion I am having to imagine as I go along
2) I am all for Ranma fixing his problems but he sounds far too wise and educated, unless that dream gave him a whole new vocabulary set and personality.
3) The lack of description easily makes this get progressvily dificult to read. (See 1)
If there is anything else I missed, I will probably kick myself later but these are all I can think of off hand.
| WarpWizard chapter 1 . 5/17/2002
Interesting possibilties, though I see a lot of crossover with your "hawk for a handsaw" fic. You seem to be fond of the "Ranma fixes everything" genre, which is Ok, as I prefer it to the "everything is exactly the same, why am I reading this" genre. The strength of your fics is when you go into detail, like showing how Ranma was trained, etc. Most fic writers avoid detail, as it requires considerable time and thought. You might want to try a bit more description as well, the script format can make it difficult to visualize what's going on, and it certainly makes things less dramatic. Fics that are chiefly cerebral and about ideas and concepts, like your "short discussion about the universe" and "hawk and handsaw" do well with the script format, but if you want to write anything with any kind of intensity you are going to have to step up the description. You don't have to layer it on, but more would be good. Anyway, I find your stuff to be somewhat original, so keep it up.