|Reviews for The Ghost Map|
| Guest chapter 7 . 7/28/2014
| follower chapter 6 . 7/28/2014
| Guest chapter 13 . 7/9/2013
Ok I'll check Aleine Skyfire ot. Thanks for giving me the name, I really like Sherlock Holmes stories, and I always love it when I have at least the prospect of finding a good author for those stories. Speaking of good authors, you're not a bad one yourself. The story's actually quite interesting, as are some of your other stories. As soon as I finish reading this, it's off to the sequel for me!
| SheWhoScrawls chapter 1 . 5/22/2013
I do remember when this came out, though somehow I never got around to reading it until now. Here goes...
I really must say that you have an extreme talent here. I have always wished I could stretch my sentences to verboseness as you do.
That praise said, I did not think it was at all a slow start, merely a sort of introduction to what may be to come. I do love it, and I must say I'm positively restless in my excitement to move on to chapter 2!
| Tusjecht chapter 2 . 5/20/2013
Setting up for the outbreak as promised in the summary, I see.
Top-notch spelling and grammar keeping in step with your writing style and fluidity, which is good. I only think that there should probably be a line break preceding "He sighed. What was wrong with the population of London criminals? ..." to /show/ a pause of sorts between his internal monologue and his bodily actions.
Oliver shows up again, and this time with a ring that I can't recall him wearing. Of course, he might simply have tried not to think about it consciously, and thus tried not to act to draw attention towards it, but in my opinion, whatever a signet ring is, someone would definitely see it sooner or later. If it's a small, pretty thing, though, then I'm okay with it.
The ending for this chapter is a bit off for me somehow, but I can't quite pin it down to anything concrete. It does make me wonder what ch3 will look like though. ( :
| Tusjecht chapter 1 . 5/20/2013
Interesting story we have here. ( :
Oliver's backstory seems a little out of place, I admit. For him to choose the beggar's life over the customs and well-to-do way of life the rich would lead, he must have been veryy hung over with Elizabeth to go as far as to ask to cut his own allowance. As a minor character though, as far as I can see, this doesn't seem to be too much of a trouble.
Spelling and grammar wise, they're top-notch and I don't have anything to nitpick on. Save for a missing full stop here: ""I said for you to get! There's a pump down there if you're that desperate""
And your description of the interaction between Holmes and Watson was very good too. A pleasure to read at four in the morning.
| Jack-in-a-Tardis chapter 14 . 4/12/2013
AWESOME! I can't wait for the next story!
| lovely-logic chapter 1 . 4/10/2013
It took me a minute to realize that this wasn't a story for the BBC remake. The fact that you tackled the Sherlock Holmes book fandom is even more impressive, and I love the eloquence of your writing. Your intro was great- you characterized Watson perfectly, and I could picture the lecture hall with its speakers lined up "like meat on a butcher's rack" (great use of description). Though this was only an setup chapter, you wrote it in a way that establishes a rich history between Sherlock and Watson. The way they speak is perfect, and I like that Sherlock is mildly agreeable- no shenanigans or overly-snarky replies like the show or movies. It's nice to see his friendly side every once in a while.
My favorite was definitely Oliver. I could totally picture a thin jolly man treading the alleys in search of himself and his first meal of the day. The cut-off rich boy story reminded me a bit of Alex from Into the Wild, but that's just me. I'm interested to see Mary make an appearance, Oliver's fate, and Sherlock's tie-in with the case, Good work
| Sierraoscar154 chapter 14 . 4/7/2013
Yayy, finally, after much reading, I have completed this story. So, I figured that it would probably end on a higher note than expected; but it depends on how you are reading from. It was nice to see that the denizens of London could come out and not live in fear anymore; it was also surprising to see that the body count of the dreaded disease was not as high as well, though losing that many people is still a bad thing unto itself, but considering the time period and medical treatment at the time, it's a wonder that more people did not succumb to the disease.
Seeing Lestrade with his family was a nice event; police officers really don't get portrayed as humans, so seeing the more family/personal side of him, especially after this entire fiasco, was a good touch.
Sherlock does seem quite uninterested, but there's probably more to it; he knows, more than anyone else, that there's something...or someone out there, and the person who was spreading it was just the tip of the iceberg.
Alas, poor Yorick! Wait, is that how the saying goes? Oh well, but whoever he displeased, it was not good. Well, when you're up against Sherlock and company, there's really not much of a contest...or is it? They really got a run for their money this time around, and if the mastermind is still out there...then it could get alot worse. But for now, the crisis is resolved.
I'm glad that I got through this story again! Really nice work.
| Sierraoscar154 chapter 13 . 4/5/2013
Sherlock gave us quite the scare there, didn't he? I figured that he would be able to get at least a little bit better by the time the chapter ended though, so I think that despite Moran's efforts, it takes much more than that to take our hero down. Still, since I'm reading a variety of different Sherlock fics at the same times, flashing back to both the past and then to the future variant of Sherlock is a really interesting to say the least. One thing that has always stuck with me is Watson's devotion and concern for Sherlock, and I could really see the helplessness he felt as a trained doctor, with almost nothing he could do about Sherlock's current situation (thankfully, it's better).
With the conversation between Ms. Hudson and Mrs. Watson, I almost got myself confused there for a second; I thought that Ms. Hudson was talking to herself! I guess I should pay attention more often, huh?
I think that the "everyone laughs" ending is both heartwarming...and a bit suspicious too. I mean, they have their man, Sherlock is okay...but there's still one more chapter, and things always have the potential to get out of hand again.
| thats-a-moray chapter 14 . 4/1/2013
And here we are at the final chapter!
Sherlock seems to be right back where we found him at the beginning of this story: in his flat, bored, and about to have dinner with Watson and Mary. I like the way you brought this full-circle. I also enjoyed the scene with Lestrade and Annie, which did a nice job of underscoring the previous scene in which London seemed to be letting down her guard. It was also a good way of reminding the audience that even though Land has been executed the danger to London is still present.
Speaking of which, although I enjoyed the introduction to this chapter, I think that you could pull it back a little in places. Some things sounded a little too perfect, if you know what I mean. Rather than going straight from fear to joy, I would think that there would be a mourning period in between during which those who had lost family members struggled to pick up the pieces of their lives.
[Death and destruction had run uncurbed throughout the streets and the body count had reached nearly a hundred and fifty people.] I thought you said it was 200 in an earlier chapter?
[And they all offered prayers and songs of thanksgiving.] As an American, I immediately imagined the holiday of Thanksgiving and it felt a little weird. Maybe you should change this to 'songs of thanks'?
By far my favorite part of this chapter was the ending. When you said Yorick was an OC earlier, I honestly didn't expect you to kill him off, which made this a great surprise. Not that I was particularly attached to Yorick - but still, I'm glad you went there and I think it really upped the stakes for the next installment by showing just how ruthless Moriarty is.
As for the story as a whole, there were some great moments - John struggling to save Wiggins, the tense scene in the cell between Sherlock and Land, anything and everything involving Oliver - but I think the story could be tightened up considerably. There were a few scenes that didn't seem to go anywhere, such as Ms. Hudson cooking in her kitchen while thinking about the outbreak and a couple scenes with Watson and Mary, but overall this didn't have a great impact on the story and is something I would expect from any completed first draft. I really enjoyed reading this and look forward to more from you. :)
| thats-a-moray chapter 13 . 4/1/2013
I'm doing this review because one of my earlier reviews was less than 150 words. Total accident, I assure you.
Wow, I'm surprised that we're so close to the end already. It feels like I just started reading.
I really enjoyed the relationship between Sherlock and Watson. I love it when writers are able to show a strong bond between two male characters without resorting to slash. I especially liked the contrast between Watson crying over Sherlock in the beginning of this chapter and the subdued scene at the table near the end. By the way, is this breakfast, lunch, or dinner? I'm not sure what time of day you would eat hot cakes... oh, are hot cakes pancakes?
["Of course, Mr. Holmes," said Watson softly. "Your brother is my brother as well."] This line was especially sweet. As an aside, even though he only appears briefly, I thought you did a great job writing Mycroft.
I'm a little confused about the end of this chapter. I thought that Land was being convicted for the outbreak? Who is Rupert Bleibner?
My biggest criticism is that you never addressed the issue of the snake venom. I don't see how Watson could have treated Sherlock successfully without knowing that there was snake venom in the cocaine Sherlock was given. Even if he did know that there was snake venom, he wouldn't be able to do anything about it without knowing the species of snake. Different venoms also have different effects. Some can cause necrosis while others attack the nervous system. So the question of whether the snake venom mentioned in the previous chapter is metaphorical or literal is extremely important.
I have no idea how this is going to end. Looking forward to the next chapter!
[The fact that it was such a personal matter made wait that much more painful.] 'The wait' or 'waiting.'
| thats-a-moray chapter 12 . 3/31/2013
Loved the dream sequence in this chapter. The trouble with dream sequences is that they're often written too literally, but this one felt like a real dream, especially with the flying, the beam of light, and recognizing featureless people. It definitely sounds like the kind of dream Sherlock would have coked out of his mind.
Is Moran being literal when he says that the dose he gave Sherlock contained snake venom? Or is snake venom supposed to mean something else?
The final scene between Sherlock and Holmes was strangely touching. I got a strong feeling of friendship and love - bromance love - right at the end when Sherlock says his name. [It was all he could manage, but it was enough.]
Lestrade had some great moments in this chapter. I liked [Lestrade reached an arm out to awkwardly pat her on the arm; he'd never been very good at this kind of thing.] and [He had the nose of a police dog when it came to tracking down the criminals and Watson had every faith in his ability to find the attacker.]
[He did not fear detection, for the hunter does not fear the attention of the tiger that he seeks.] This is sort of an odd metaphor. Hunters generally like to sneak up on their prey, trap it, or shoot it from a distance, especially if it's something as dangerous as a tiger. I think if you just said 'the hunter does not fear the tiger that he seeks' it would work better.
All in all, great chapter.
[Violent muscle spasms were jarring the arms that had once seemed so strong proficient.] Strong and proificent.
| DjinniFires chapter 3 . 3/31/2013
The perplexity of the poor constable dealing with the poor sick man on the street is interesting and sad since the read can guess that this is son-of-a-lord beggar Oliver Kensington and that he's probably contracted the cholera he warned Sherlock about.
Dr. Watson's medical practice is a good scene. I loved this description of his day: "It had been an unusually busy day with patients arriving left and right, insisting that they were in the grips of some horrendous ailment or other. However, in nine out of ten cases his diagnosis was considerably less thrilling." By the time the previous scene intrudes on this scene, Oliver is too weak to provide any additional information. Very sad! I like Watson consulting a book as he asks the constable for details yet being able to identify the disease from his own store of knowledge.
Again, Watson and his wife are good together and their dialogue seems very much in character: John taking blame for not saving his patient and Mary comforting him. His going to see Sherlock at the end is a great lead in to tie together Oliver's demise with Sherlock's information on Oliver's visit to him.
One nit: in paragraph 5, the following is in present tense and so seems to be a quoted thought that should be in italics: Who knows what kind of disease these wretches pick up in the streets?
One confusion: in paragraph 25 regarding "Or was it simply the pounding, screaming noises that were running through his rattled mind?" I don't remember Watson being this angsty before in this story so I couldn't think of the motivation. Is it just that he fears losing this patient?
| thats-a-moray chapter 11 . 3/30/2013
Good banter between Moran and Holmes. I'm assuming that Moran's intended victim, if Holmes refused, was Mary? Although I'm a little skeptical that Moran actually had access to Mary because of how he lunged at Sherlock. It's suspicious that he spent so much time building up this choice and then simply attacked. Interesting.
I loved the contrast between the calm scenes of Lestrade and John searching for Sherlock and Sherlock writhing in agony on the floor, helpless to stop the cocaine flooding his system. It really made the scenes with Lestrade and John more intense, the way you organized them.
And thank goodness for John. If they waited for back-up... well, I think it's safe to say Holmes would be dead.