|Reviews for The Ghost Map|
| Rosawyn chapter 4 . 3/5/2012
I've mentioned before that I really like the descriptions in this fic, but this one just really stands out as unique and awesome: "Frustration seemed to drip from the ceiling with his entrance." :D Love it!
The bit where John and Sherlock discuss how Cholera is spread and such seemed a bit awkward at times. I know I was the one who asked for a bit more explanation and background on what Cholera is and how it works, so I guess this is sort of my fault! XD
I should mention that I really like how this fic is focused on John as the pov character rather than Sherlock. I know it is just a lot harder to write from Sherlock's pov, but also I just think it makes the story better to see things through John's eyes most of the time. Not that the bits from Sherlock's pov are bad, I just think it's better to have the bulk told through John's pov as you are doing. :)
Another bit of description I love: "it seemed to have oozed through the cracks of the streets" Brilliant. _
I'm still sad Oliver is dead, btw. :( I liked him!
I have to admit I was a bit confused by the last scene...I have no idea who Wiggins is. The whole thing is very dramatic and well-written, but I'm still lost. I'm guessing he's a character from the books that hasn't made it into any of the adaptations I've seen? If he's already been in this very fanfic, I apologize for not remembering him! :( I hope he doesn't die because Johan and Mary seem to really like him.
Overall, this was a really good chapter, and I very much enjoyed it. Sorry it took me so long to read and review it!
| mrspencil chapter 5 . 3/4/2012
Very sad chapter. The Mrs Hudson bit worked well, too.
| Sister Assassin chapter 1 . 3/4/2012
I like it! I was originally reading this because I read the "Holmes" part and a part of me thought it was the adapted 21st century version of Holmes but when I began to read it, I noticed it was the older version. Even though it wasn't what I had expected it was still a good start to the story. I don't know how quickly the stories usually set of in, but this seemed like a good start to me.
| Hades Lord of the Dead chapter 5 . 3/4/2012
| ShadedRogue chapter 1 . 3/4/2012
I like the way you started off with the prologue with Watson giving a lecture on the outbreak of cholera in London. Of course, from what I got off your summary, this will most likely have a connection to what's going to end up happening later.
I also Oliver. He seems like an interesting fellow. He'd rather sleep outside and be poor and free, rather than be rich and confined. I find that he seems kind of detached from his situation, however, which makes him seem even more interesting. I'm really curious to see what role he'll play later in the series.
On to some criticisms. You're a very good writer, and you know how to start a mystery, but I find you have a few superficial errors. One of them was this: "Squinting slightly, I realized that it was a diary page that I had obtained specifically for this lecture." Your narration suddenly turns into first P.O.V.. I'm not really sure if this was intentional or a mistake, but it's completely out of place.
All right, miss. I'm going." is missing the first dialogue tag.
Another criticism is a purely personal preference. I find that some of your word choices don't fit with the era of the piece, such as "brand spanking new". I find it throws me out of the story a little bit. As I said, however, it's a purely personal preference and I'm not going to ask you to change your writing style for my sake. ;D
All in all, it's off to a great start. I'm interested to see where the mystery will go.
| chaos Leader chapter 5 . 3/3/2012
And the Cholera claims Wiggins!
Well written once again. And now we see Holmes and Watson moved and shaken by the death, and showing some emotion.
The one thing I haven't seen yet in this story is Holmes and Watson doing what they do so well: field work, getting out there, finding clues, discovering bits n' pieces, and finally putting together what happened. But, seeing as how this chapter went, I suspect that famous HolmesWatson mystery solving tag-team will show its face soon enough.
| darkin520 chapter 5 . 3/2/2012
Oh, no...not Wiggins too. Oh, let's start at the beginning though. I love Mrs. Hudson's logic with the cake. I thought it was cute. Oh, and the whole scene with Wiggins...very believable and well-done. I'd also like to compliment you on your accent writing. I've never attempted this, and I commend anyone who does and does it well. And, you do just that. Ah, and that's why it's called Ghost Map...lol. Oh, and poor Watson...this is really affecting him, isn't it? I am eagerly, very eagerly, looking forward to more. I'm hooked on the mystery. :)
| pixileanin chapter 5 . 3/1/2012
Wow. Yes. Brilliant. Heartwrenching. Err... *is lost for words* You've reduced Holmes to a quivering mess and you've rendered me almost speechless... bravo! Ahem. Your style is exquisite for this story. There. Words. At last.
| The Bitter Kitten chapter 5 . 3/1/2012
I think... I think I may hate you. There's sand in my eyes. And it's raining on my face.
But yeah, lovely chapter. You overuse "great" a little bit towards the end, but you do a great job of bringing in the backstory and making this (senselessly, needlessly cruel :() death resonate.
| McJunker chapter 4 . 2/29/2012
My main problem with this story is in how the structure deviates from the standard Holmes story. In the original stories, some client would come to Holmes and present the facts of the case. Holmes would ask a few seemingly random questions. Then they'd go investigate, find clues that confuse Watson. Then Sherlock gives bizarre instructions and doesn't explain them. By the end, Sherlock explains everything that occurred and thus is the case concluded.
here, things are done differently.
The client came and voiced suspicions that the cholera outbreak was a crime and not an accident, thus catching holmes' attention. But the client did not explain on screen (so to speak) WHY he thought it was a serial killer, what he saw or heard that lead him to that conclusion. Sherlock never speculates on the possible methods one could use to infect someone. And there's no investigation on Holmes' part that we can see. He doesn't march into the infected zones and start making lists on where each victim drank or ate. He doesn't check to see if they all use the same butcher shop, or live by the same stretch of the Thames. Sherlock is curiously passive in this case, and I think that hurts the story.
That said, I want to know who is spreading the contagion and why they're doing it. You set up that plot well enough that I want to know what happens next, and that is a mark of a good story. And you killed Wiggins, so bonus points for going to that level.
Also? Totally called Oliver Kensington buying the farm. Just saying.
| darkin520 chapter 4 . 2/29/2012
Oh, wow! You're just killing everyone off left and right, aren't you? Very Agatha Christie! Well done. But, certainly, you have nothing to hide about, do you? Well, I'm not going to curse you out anyway. I really loved the information about cholera slipped in...expertly done, and it gives readers knowledge we otherwise might have not known before. Now, I'm really curious to see who is behind all this and how they're pulling it off, considering it's waterborn. I really cannot wait for more of this mystery. Well done. :)
| McJunker chapter 1 . 2/29/2012
...Did you really just put a gosh darned Irish country song into a Sherlock Holmes fanfic? Bless your heart.
Anyways, the concept of Sherlock Holmes vs. Cholera is one I'll get behind.
Also, Oliver's toast ain't he? Dead by the next chapter, by my guess? I'll review again when I've read more.
| pixileanin chapter 4 . 2/29/2012
Ahh, and we make the connection. Fantastic! I like how the story builds and how the suspense is heightened by having someone they know be in mortal danger. I think the only thing missing here is small details about how the doctor might be protecting himself and his family from this, how their normal routines might have been disturbed by something as severe as a rampant plague. I think that might heighten the danger even more - if maybe the doctors in the area had given out instructions on how to be careful and then their friend contracted the disease anyway. (my humble suggestion) Good writing! *wants more*
| pixileanin chapter 3 . 2/28/2012
Again, your characters shine! Poor John. He did what he could, but seeing someone die is never an easy thing, even for a doctor. I'm sure Holmes is going to soothe him and make him feel so much better... or not. I'm sure you have trouble brewed up for them. Nicely done!
| anonymous chapter 4 . 2/27/2012
I really liked this chapter - especially the interaction between John and Mary. Awesome cliffhanger - I hope you update soon. Thanks!