|Reviews for O, Lost|
| robsjenn chapter 1 . 5/14/2012
no wonder this placed in the canon tour. (no offense to jessi, whose writing is terrific, but i think this o/s is better than her JPOV that took 1st.)
this is so haunting in its depiction of edward's desolate spirit - as desolate as the abandoned wilderness and directionless wandering he sticks to. of course it starts off sad, and then continues to head into truly devastating territory. seriously, my heart actually panged as i read many of your beautiful lines:
"My original intention had been to turn north at this point, and to continue in that direction until it wasn't north anymore. Now that strikes me as needlessly melodramatic. It's hard to imagine the Arctic Circle being any more desolate than the endless stretch of nothing around me."
"If I had a way to check my eye color, I'd know if I'm supposed to be hungry by now, but I don't."
"...you can't count on lightning to choose its target with any degree of compassion, so I lie down and let the sleet freeze where it will.
"After a while, it turns back into snow, but I remain motionless, envisioning the layers piling up, blanketing me like a shroud."
"Making a plan is still beyond me. My movements are as random as my thoughts. The only sense of order comes from my determination to relive every single moment we spent together, every priceless expression in her depthless eyes, every look and gesture and word.
"I'm no more obsessive than any other zealot building a shrine. It's important that those details, too precious and extraordinary for extinction, continue to exist somewhere in the universe, and the obvious place is within me."
and then he's brought back into the world again by andy, and rescuing doug, and i as the reader *really* needed this upturn, this brief sense of hope. and for a few good moments he's back in the world - calling esme, reading books, enjoying chicago, being a good samaritan in his very unique way - until it comes crashing down at the art institute and here we go again:
" 'So why not concentrate on the fact that every day that goes by – no matter how shitty it is for you – puts her one day closer to finding whatever it is that will give her happiness?' "
"I mull that over a minute. It has possibilities. That wish is the purest motivation in my heart, and it doesn't require me to overcome my own sorrow, which seems like a lost cause."
and then the information on victoria, and he has a plan. his snark is back and he's losing the war but he's participating in it again. and then my heart panged again:
"Somewhere out there beyond the beaches and the bay is Carlisle's most romantic gift to Esme – a tropical island for them alone.
Pure grief wells up, unexpected, and it nearly staggers me where I stand. If only I could have made one such sweeping gesture for Bella before the inevitable parting. I had it in my heart to do it, just not the right."
i had never made the connection that he would think of isle esme while in rio, but of course!
and of course i love how you ended this. he decides to go back to forks - just to watch from a distance, of course - with the seed from alice's intel on bella socializing reaping the desired effect - and rosalie calls.
"All my noblest intentions of the last months vanish in a surge of joyful anticipation I can neither justify nor resist.
My phone rings."
"In my hand, Rosalie's voice crumbles to dust. In my head, the lights go out like fireflies. In my heart, there's nothing.
All that's left is . . . a plan."
...a perfect closing line.
the line from o homeward angel is strikingly fitting.
thank you for writing a truly terrific piece of fiction. i'm so glad i decided to troll through the canon tour website again and found this.
| hoppyliz chapter 1 . 4/22/2012
It's truely amazing what you've put together here. It really makes a lot of sense. Especially the Cullen's decision to leave Forks: how they've really been preparing for this for a long time, and how they just leave, as they always do, without even saying good-bye. The end is a wee bit abrupt: suddenly he's in Rio, briefly considers checking up on Bella, and then there's the phone call already. After all his long brooding that seemed a bit unconvincing, or as if you'd run out of ideas.
Still, on the whole it's an excellent piece of work.
| mamato chapter 1 . 3/24/2012
I liked your take on EPOV for NM, but the coldness and disregard the Cullens had for Bella, including Alice, was inexcusable and disgusting. The were just all too happy to pack up and move. Even so far as planning ahead. They were concerned about Edward's well-being but thought nothing of Bella's. Emmett's 'good luck with the breakup' was heart-breaking. Your take on their characters felt totally OOC, and makes their actions unforgivable.
| colynn chapter 1 . 3/24/2012
Again, your stories capture and delight me as much as the original books. Please, please keep them coming!
| Crimson Poppies chapter 1 . 2/20/2012
Omg i want to eat cheesake, i cry , and u get virtual cheesecake from me .
THAT WAS AWESOME
| MegsD2 chapter 1 . 2/18/2012
So many things happening with Edward that I wouldn't have expected. I'm glad the bear was scared away by his venom (I presume), and that he didn't give in to his more primal urges in Chicago. He stayed true to himself, even when he wasn't sure who that was, exactly.
Such a deep and thoughtful look into his mind, great job!
| karenec chapter 1 . 2/18/2012
Ah, you captured Edward's angst and apathy so well. This was a great mix of book and movie, and I really enjoyed it. Congratulations on your second place win!
| KayMarieXW chapter 1 . 2/16/2012
Congratulations on placing in the Canon Tour. It was really well deserved :)
Interesting the way that Edward jumps from one thought to the next, almost as if he is literally living moment to moment and can't cope with anything more, which makes sense.
Glad that he managed to hold on to some of himself, helping the guy in the car and the concern he felt for others, even despite his own misery.
Great story, thanks for writing!
| Elivra26 chapter 1 . 2/15/2012
This was... exquisite! I swear, you write the best Edward POV's I've ever read.I don't really know WHAT more to say, it was so incredibly perfect. For all his philosophical thoughts, you keep us so hooked to his every argument and conclusion that it's like we're reading an un-putdownable thriller! Oh, and I HAVE to say this: 'dazzlepalooza' absolutely made my day! The small bits of wry humour were very well-placed: it isn't often that humour and angst can complement each other so perfectly. On the whole, very very well done!
| Essay33 chapter 1 . 2/13/2012
This is by far the best account I've read of Edward's "lost months" during New Moon. You are a very skilled writer with a keen grasp of characterization. It's a genuine pleasure to read your work.
| Gemgirl65 chapter 1 . 2/10/2012
This is absolutely amazing. We all have some notion of the myriad ways in which Edward presumably tortured himself, or tried to numb himself, after leaving Bella, and you've touched on all of them here with incredible skill and poignancy. There were so many beautiful/clever/evocative passages that I wouldn't know where to begin to highlight them. I miss Edward's Real Voice in most fanfic, but here, it's crystal clear. It's as heart-wrenching and humorous and perversely HUMAN as Edward ever was. And how like him to end up saving an innocent life, as well as a guilty one later on, the minute he allowed himself near humankind again!
I've always wanted to hear Edward's side of the story during that long, infamous dearth during New Moon, just like I'll always want to read a saga-long version of Midnight Sun. You have fulfilled one of my fondest wishes, so THANK YOU for that! Bless you for putting into words Edward's difficult journey into a world he never wanted to inhabit - one without Bella. You did a beautiful job.
| 1853kaz chapter 1 . 2/10/2012
I enjoyed this very much - perhaps 'appreciate' is a better word, given Edward's angst levels! You do canon justice. He was very restrained compared to other Epovs I've read in this time frame - trying to reason and control his reactions throughout. But that is not unlike Edward to me - extremely intelligent and a processor. And the moments when he lost time and sense in his misery were poignant. Thank you! :)
| Sweetie7smiled chapter 1 . 2/9/2012
Very good. Thanks for writing!
| content1 chapter 1 . 2/9/2012
What happened during that lost time intrigues me. No matter how many versions I read, I cringe each time. I think you did a wonderful job in giving us a tortured Edward.
I apologize that my review on the contest was so short - I was doing it from my tablet!