|Reviews for Burning Bridges|
| NeoMiniTails chapter 1 . 10/24/2013
This reminds me of The Death Note one-shot, but this one is one-hundred times better. It's still written in present-tense, but the voice and diction in this speaks volumes. I rarely read yaoi/yuri stories as I don't really for them, but this is amazing.
I didn't play this game-I played the 1/2 after this one, but man, the emotions played here are quite wonderful. I found myself entranced by the tone and like a tornado, I was pulled in by the force of your words.
I am a sucker of tragedies and sad endings. Sometimes,, they can be so powerful. Awesome job on this one!
| Vault-Pizza chapter 1 . 3/10/2013
I always cry when I read this. Never got round' telling you cuss there were always TEARS IN MY EYES.
Srsly tho this is lovely, as "Lovely" as something soul killing can be, good emotion. This is all old news, well done, really well done
| TikiPrincess chapter 1 . 1/29/2013
- Great build-up to the climax. I can really feel the intensity of the moment, what drives Rygdea to do what he does and how much it means for Raines to say and do what he does.
- The main conflict was clear. Although you touched upon the l'Cie and the conflict of the game, this story was about these two characters and you didn't let anything distract from that.
- Love the little bits and pieces. Rygdea's cigarette breath, the trembling hands, the narrowness of Raines' tall frame. They're spread out but still give a good picture of who these men.
- "I miss you," Rygdea whispers, and Cid feels something inside of him break - it's a little jarring to see 'Cid' here instead of 'Raines', especially since it's just after learning the rarity of its use.
- "I'm worried about you," he continues, his voice dropping to an almost desperate whisper. "You've changed so much, Cid. Don't let anyone get too close anymore – won't let me get close anymore and you won't tell me why." - should all be one paragraph. Rygdea is speaking in both instances, and he's not introducing a new subject.
- There's very little dialogue, but what's there is powerful.
- That kiss was way hot. And then to juxtapose it with Raines' observations… A great way to emphasize how changed he's become.
- There's a bit of a mixed metaphor with the lambs and the pawns of the fal'Cie. It's not overly distracting, but perhaps another metaphor could be used.
- The narrative pops out of Raines' POV and into Rygdea's for a quick sec here: Rygdea opens and closes his mouth … he knows he'll find there.
- Sometimes the phrasing is hard to wrap my head around. For instance,
It's one of the very last times Raines sees Rygdea when - could be written "One of the very last times Raines sees Rygdea is when..."
Rygdea means far too much to him for Raines to allow him to get any more involved with him than he already is. - could be written "Rygdea means far too much for Raines to allow himself to get involved - at least, more than he already is."
I like this as a one-shot. You did a good job of giving the context of their relationship, and there's a finality when the story comes to a close.
There were times where I felt that some of the wording could have been cut or the sentences a little tighter, but it did not distract me from the emotional impact of the piece.
| Green Phantom Queen chapter 1 . 1/25/2013
Having read the summary of the game, XIII is horrible and sad at the same time.
Raines doesn't want to do this; he doesn't want Rygdea to hate him, but he must. If Rygdea had regrets in killig him, Raines would forever suffer as a crystal statue forever and Rygdea would be in anguish forever more. Rains would also be stuck in that state reminded of those times with Rygdea, only making his eternal existence even worse.
The relationship is very well done and I feel the emotions from these two. Rygdea has worked side by side Raines for who knows how long, trying their best to free their people. Instead, they were pawns and it hurts.
Pretty much, death was the only option left. And it hurts all the same.
| IrishPanther chapter 1 . 10/12/2012
To start off, I've never played Final Fantasy before, so I cannot comment on OOC-ness. However, I can say that I truly loved the interaction you had going on between Rygdea and Raines; I'm guessing that this pairing is pretty popular in the fandom. Anyway, it seems like those two were on the verge of something, but Raines doesn't feel anything for Rygeda, thus making Rygeda upset and mad and now hating Raines. Such intensity in your writing style that I was hooked onto this story from the get-go. No grammar mistakes spotted here, so excellent work proofreading! Once again, I enjoyed reading this wonderful one-shot! :)
| RedheadedMarina chapter 1 . 9/27/2012
Ouch. Painful, yet very well written story. I really like how you pace your descriptions in sentences that could be too long, but you are skillful in the words you choose and so they read well and add to the overall tension.
I am not familiar with this fandom/these characters, but for an introduction they came across as very real in their dialogue and their feelings. I felt for both of them as one reaches out, despite the pain, while the other shoves back, despite the pain.
Very well done.
| MissWindowsill chapter 1 . 9/18/2012
I love this but it breaks my heeeaaart!
Very nicely writen though, I love how you write Cid and describe his feelings and all.
What can I say I just have angsst. very well written, I love it *sob*
| ReadingBlueWolf chapter 1 . 9/11/2012
This was really well written. The part that absolutely captivated me was: "He's already betrayed him, betrayed everyone; he's led the lambs to the slaughter, sacrifices, the unwilling pawns of the very fal'Cie they sought to depose." To me, that sentence explained the gravity of the situation more than any other words. It provided insight, emotion, and detail that left me in awe. It was amazing. I love plots where a person let's their loved one go, because it's for the best. They're always the most moving, even with how cruel Raines was. It's a very touching story. Great job!
| darkaccalia520 chapter 1 . 9/10/2012
Wow! This was a really powerful story. I have played numbers VIII and II. I haven't played XIII, but I don't think it matters as I completely understood this. I don't really know why Raines is suddenly being so cold to Rygdea. but it makes me feel really bad for the both of them. It seems to me it's more of a situation where Raines does love him, but must let him go because of that fact...like he'd be bad for him if they stayed together. It was really sad when he simply told him the relationship was nothing more than a romp in the hay. And no wonder Rygdea doesn't stop him from leaving in the end. My only criticism in this would be your rating. I do think the language is a little much for a T story, but that may also be the norm of the fandom. I just know in my fandom, this would be rated M...but my fandom is also prudish. Overall, this was a wonderful story. Sad, but wonderful. Fabulous! :)
| The Death Frisbee chapter 1 . 9/9/2012
I am unfamiliar with canon, but I think you probably know that.
Good job starting in medias res, and thanks for not wasting a huge amount of time on exposition. It made the fic instantly more interesting to read to be placed in the middle of the situation.
I liked the 'Cid' that worked its way into the narration towards the end - it felt intentional and worked well.
Also, good job at moving the narrative forward throughout - the two characters don't wind up in the same place at the end of the fic as they were in at the start of the fic, and so this felt purposeful and complete by itself, not needing a continuation.
The feelings between the two characters were convincing even though I had no idea who they were and had never 'met' them before, so you conveyed them well enough to work in the fic, which is crucial. I think they specifically work because Raines is pushing Rygdea away, and because Raines is either no longer capable of love or is repressing it, so you don't just have 'I love you' without a twist.
Hope this was useful! SPAG follows.
nothing but lies, and it kills him, because Rygdea
is busy work, and it keeps him - if you have 2 independent clauses, split them with a comma
sound of it; "Reminds me of spring," he had said - unsure why the italics as well
has usually translated - tense shift
can't help but think. Just imagine... - or semicolons, but you're using a lot of them around there, so I'd make it its own sentence
through his gaze, and the grip tightens on his collar - comma splice otherwise
he dares. "Tell me
fal'Cie, died along with
| Desktop Warrior chapter 1 . 2/23/2012
If this story is any indication, then I should definitely get FFXIII. The graphics are phenomenal, from what I've seen, but your fic makes it look like there's some great characterization here, too.
I honestly don't have anything to criticize from a technical or literary standpoint. There's only one thing, which I'll get to in the next paragraph. The story flows perfectly from start to finish and you develop your characters so well. The clash between Raines and Rygdea is palpable in its intensity, but it's also what gives their relationship its passion - as well as being the reason for their falling out now. It feels like their relationship, while very real and passionate, was thus doomed from the start. Rygdea wants what Raines can't give him anymore, while Raines simply can't handle this level of intimacy because of whatever secret it is that drives them apart. Finally, you have just the right amount of description to make this story easy to follow and understand.
The only critique I have to make is a purely personal one, and in no way detracts from the quality of the story. But since I haven't played FFXIII (yet), it's difficult for me to really understand why Raines and Rygdea's relationship is the way it is. I'd have to know the events that led to this point for me to fully appreciate this work.
Great job, though, Cass, and I'll certainly reread this once I've played the game.
| Lilly Valens chapter 1 . 2/11/2012
I first must admit I am not familiar with Final Fantasy.
That didn't matter, though. This piece was very well written and I got a good sense of the conflict and emotional turmoil between the two characters. I thought everything flowed together nicely and that a lot of the background was explained very well.
The part that got to me the most was when Raines trivializes the affair to nothing except lust. I can just imagine their connection turning to ashes the moment he said that.
| Relala chapter 1 . 2/10/2012
First off, I’m going to say that your writing has improved drastically since I last read anything you posted! It has a wonderful flow to it now. The descriptions and dialogue blend well together. *shifty look* Does that make any sense? What I mean is that I never had to stop or re-read anything because something was awkwardly phrased, and nothing was too short. It all just fit together very nicely, sort of like the pieces of a puzzle. With your older stuff, I always felt that you needed more of *something*, but whatever that was you have it in spades now.
Lines I liked:
“and for one devastating heart-stopping moment he almost blurts out everything in a cathartic rush, eager to be rid of all the secrets he's been keeping hidden away from the world;” — I want to abscond with this line. It is *perfect*. I want to make you forget that you wrote it and claim its awesome brilliance for my own. The way he has so many secrets bottled up inside of him that he wants to spit them all out despite how much chaos they might cause, I love it. It really speaks to me.
“….to cut loose the strings of the puppet masters. Now he has become one of those puppets he sought to free, dancing on a string, a slave to the very ones he sought to usurp.” — It was a fierce battle indeed, but this line is defiantly my favourite. It reads like poetry and has such deep meaning. It’s gorgeous all by itself. (The first part that I quoted is the line I asked to steal for a title, BTW.)
“It puts Raines on edge because Rygdea's always been so hard to lie to – the only reason he's managed so well this far is because betraying everyone he's ever loved and facilitating the destruction of the only place he's ever called home is busy work and it keeps him away more often than not.” — I’m repeating myself, but again I love how you turn something so deep and personal into something so simple and obvious. It’s painful to read and yet delicious at the same time. He’s destroying himself one piece at a time, and you make no bones about it.
“It throws him off, makes him forget for a moment that he's dragging them both down into something they should have never been a part of.” — Dark, beautiful, striking, I want it as my own. Blah blah blah. This line is perfect for the stereotypical angst or hidden romance. It’s so painful to read because you know here how things are going to end, the meaning of the title finally sinks in and you know they aren’t going to be able to fix the problem…which you kinda knew all along I guess, but this line really solidifies the sadness into something palpable. (Also, I thought of Lucius/Severus when I read it.*sigh* I should get off my ass and write some fic of my own.)
“It pains him like nothing else, a red-hot blade scorching the tattered pieces of his insides – the part of him that used to be human.” —Words cannot quite describe how much I love this line. I’m just going to sit here and squee over its brilliance while crying at the same time for the pain the character is in. The imagery is splendid, and the emotional connection here with the reader is marvelous it’s almost like I can *feel* the pain when I read this. (Sidenote: Here you go again, reminding me of other Fandoms with your amazing words, making me feel bad for not being able to write worth shit right now. I hate reading your stuff some times, Cassandra, because then I feel inadequate. This line fits Angel perfectly.)
What I love most about this piece—about all your work actually—is the way you take the darkness and brokenness inside a person and turn it into something so striking that it hurts my chest to read it. I wish I could word this better, but you really have a knack for angst fic. It’s so warped and so well written. Reading your stuff… I experience the same horrible feeling I got when Beyblade ended and when Harry Potter was over, that “OMG, this can’t have happened” feeling that makes your chest hurt and your eyes prickle.
I know you don’t see it, but you’re writing is brilliant. I wish I could quote every line and comment on it; I wish I could write like you. This story is beautiful, and it’s a tragedy that the good authors on this site are always overlooked.
One last thing before I go:
“…won't let me get close anymore and you won't let me why." —Uh, did you mean “tell” instread of “let” here, ladybug? *confused face*