|Reviews for Potter's Clay|
| Catasauqua chapter 6 . 11/21
Supernatural Fan Fiction Monthly Awards review:November
Your story started off strong but kinda fell apart midway and ended with me feeling like you rushed and slapped a band-aid on it to finish.
I thought it was a clever hook starting with the MotW's POV and enjoyed following it throughout your story. Sam and Dean were stereotypical, but true to season 2, in their banter and actions before Sam was taken. Nicely done. I especially liked the motel parking lot scene where Sam startled Dean and Dean pulled away and made Sam walk to their room. :P Sam's imprisonment and escape were also noteworthy.
All of Bobby was throw-away. Nothing of substance there. It not only broke the flow of the story, it seemed to have been shoe-horned in just because you like Bobby. If a character doesn't move the plot along - no matter how much you, as an author, love him - refrain yourself. Go write a Bobby drabble or get a more honest beta.
Having been teased by the pattern of victims - male/female/male...etc. - and the golem's obsession with beauty, I was expecting at least a somewhat reasonable explanation on why it switched genders. Yet is seemed like no one but me picked up on this. Not Dean. Not Sam. Not even Bobby-the-Magnificent. Were we, as readers, to assume that the current gender of the golem chose the next target by sexual preference or was the order of the victims just incidental, having no bearing on the plot whatsoever? To me, it was a great big plothole.
Finally, the ending with the golem didn't work for me. At all. I can't see Dean leaving Sam alone while helpless, no matter how inconvenient, to track down the golem. Then, to stab it in the head was plain lazy writing when the lore specifically say to remove the first letter, which would be the far right since Hebrew is written and read right to left (plothole). Sometimes we forget the ending is anticipated throughout the whole story. You botched the face-to-face with the golem, but covered with a final scene of the brothers back where they belong.
Your story was well formatted and relatively clean grammatically.
| TheYmp chapter 6 . 11/18
Supernatural Fan Fiction Monthly Awards (Nov15- Short Story/Adventure) Review:
I really liked the way you had a "teaser trailer"-style intro, very Supernatural, to get us interested and start us wondering about what the monster might be.
The diner scene was a good way to set the timeframe and there was some nice brotherly banter, but then there were some brief outside scenes before we're back in another diner. I wonder if it might have made the story tighter to have the golem see Sam outside and then follow him. I guess she's a Sam-golem, huh?!
While I enjoyed the story, there were some good descriptions and some tense scenes, there were a couple of sections (usually with Bobby or an OC) where nothing much important happened and I'd have sacrificed those for more detail in the more crucial paragraphs. (Why explain changing the aleph on the golem's forehead if it was just killed by stabbing it in the head?) I'd also have like to know more about the golem – why was it so focused on beauty? Was there any way it could stop itself from disintegrating.
The way Sam's memories and personality was absorbed by the golem was quite frightening – I think you should have extended this, as well as the fight – it wasn't much against Dean!
All-in-all a very good read!
| MeAzrael chapter 6 . 11/12
Supernatural Fan Fiction Monthly Awards Review:
The story starts great, with the mystic POV and our boys deciding to check on the case with the missing people. There’s a lot of dialogue, which makes the story vivid and comfortable to read. To make a Golem the monster of the week was a creative choice, it took the show almost another year to come up with a Golem on their own. It’s always tricky to control a Golem and I liked the idea to make him/it develop his own wishes and aims at an early stage.
It would have added another layer to the story to learn more about the Golem’s motivation and thoughts other than that he wanted to be attractive. And in the last scene he was killed a bit too easy for my liking – and Dean wouldn’t fuss as much about his seriously damaged brother as we are used to. That seemed a bit out of character.
The scenes about Sam being abducted and held in that basement, slowly losing his memories and abilities were gripping – as was his escape. What I missed a bit were the strong emotions (at least behind the cocky façade ;-) that are so characteristic for the Winchesters when one of them is in danger. And maybe a tad more information about the Golem lore. Wikipedia pointed out a few more funny options to destroy a Golem, while it would’ve been difficult for Dean to destroy only the first of the letters on his forehead (especially since he couldn’t see them while the Golem was looking exactly like Sam).
Other than that: really good story.
| Kas3y chapter 6 . 1/14
I really enjoyed this. Fantastic job. Loved how the Golem finished with Sam by using his knowledge. Very original :D
| Random Ruth chapter 6 . 5/30/2014
Such a wonderful story - and yay for a happy ending! I spotted two Lord of the Rings references but that's all. You had to gripped from start to finish! :)
| Random Ruth chapter 5 . 5/30/2014
So far this is very exciting and awesome but an idea popped into my head during this chapter and I wanted to share.
Dean continues talking as he bandages Sam's bloody feet. The constant staring's starting to bug him and he resists the urge to snap at him. Just keeps talking in monotone. "...and you were still at Stanford and I was on the other side of the country and Dad called me up and wanted my help. He was hunting this ghost that was being a real bitch-"
"Jerk." The cracked little word causes Dean to whip his head up. Sam is staring at him, looks confused that he's even said anything to this stranger.
"Yeah, Sammy, that's me," Dean says quietly and gets back to work.
| Swellison chapter 6 . 12/9/2012
Very good hunt story, nicely paced action and resarch. Glad to see Bobby helping Dean out, and you did a nice job telling things from the golem's and losing-it!Sam's point of view.
| doyleshuny chapter 6 . 4/5/2012
Yeah like Sammy's never going to not listen to Dean again. Uh Huh! If Sam always listened to his big brother we would all wonder who this person was and what did he do with Sam? Dean would totally never buy it! I seriously loved this! It was really clever.
| doyleshuny chapter 5 . 4/5/2012
I want Dean to gank taht golem so bad! It turned poor Sammy into a vegetable? Taht golem will be lucky if all Dean does is gank it! Okay all I want is a ganked golem and Sammy to get better. If that happens I'll be happy. OMG I loooove this!
| doyleshuny chapter 4 . 4/5/2012
So it's a freakin golem that is kind of on a power trip? I mean it's not doing what it's maker wanted. Holy crud. Now it's like one step from finishing up with Sam. This is probably one of the most clever stories I've ever read and I'm a total fanfic addict. My hubby has consider an intervention for my addictions to both Supernatural the show and the Supernatural fanfics. Don't worry it will never happen. Okay I have to go and see where Dean save's Sammy.
| doyleshuny chapter 3 . 4/5/2012
It's a golem? Okay I actually do know what a golem is? My mother was wrong. I do go to temple enough! LOL! Anyway I didn't even think of a golem. Pretty clever. So whoever is controlling the golem want's the beauty of the victims? It has to be the rabbi or the son. Or maybe the younger son who went to the mental hospital? SHEESE! I better read on to find out! Like I said this thing rocks! REALLY INTERESTING!
| doyleshuny chapter 2 . 4/5/2012
Okay so it does have something to do with the way the victim looks. With the exception of the two rabbis all the victims are or were beautiful. Sam is beautiful. That's what attracts it. I'm Jewish and I don't have a clue what this thing is. Like my mother said. "If I went to temple more often I might no more." Who knew that would come back to bite me in my butt? Great Job! I'm loving this!
| doyleshuny chapter 1 . 4/5/2012
Uh oh. This can't be good. I like how you keep calling the monster an "it". I mean you're not calling it a male or female even though it had the busty female thing going before started falling apart. I wonder if it makes a difference if it touches somebody who's beautiful like one of the boy's? I guess I'll read on to find out. Great job!
| Heatherlina chapter 3 . 2/25/2012
The scenes of Dean weighing his options and doing research were awesome. I like how the story is building but still keeping me guessing on what's next.
| Heatherlina chapter 2 . 2/25/2012
Whoa Sammy's in trouble. Can't wait to read the next chapter and hopefully Dean can rescue him. Nice work!