Reviews for The Thirteenth Rider |
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![]() ![]() ![]() The hunt has begun...I do love a dark Jareth and you write him so well. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I knew it, I knew it...It's the goblin king! I'm loving this story. Your writing style is enjoyable and I'm loving where this story is going. |
![]() ![]() ![]() That's a good Prologue :) |
![]() ![]() This is one of the first stories that I ever read, and I never forgot the story. It has haunted me for years but I couldn’t find the story again until two days ago. So I got the pleasure of reading this great piece of art and my first love again. Now that your work is still loved and appreciated today! |
![]() ![]() I have read a multitude of fantasy adventures on Fanfiction and other sites and find the quality of this adventure far above normal. I thoroughly enjoyed it. The plot was carefully considered and formulated, and the words used greatly established the atmosphere which is imperative in keeping the readers attention. Small and inconsequential spelling faults were there but not enough to detract attention from the story. One essential thing was that you completed your story. :-) Are you thinking on writing a book? I think your style of writing would be very beneficiary to such a venture. Good luck and I hope to read some more of your work in the future. |
![]() ![]() I think I might be the only reader who isn't a fan of Jareth's at this stage of the game. I read through the comments and found squeals and titters of delight. No one was disappointed. I guess it's because I long ago got tired of the "overbearing rogue anti-hero wins the day with sex appeal and OP" trope. All the things Jareth says and does in regards to Sarah come off as possessive, obsessive, jealous, entitled, overbearing, lustful, and creepy...not one sweet or giving gesture. Everything is about owning her, even the supposedly protective moments, and that just makes me resent him even more than Sarah apparently does. "Deny me all you want, your body does not lie." That sounds like something a rapist would say to justify his actions. And he's supposed to be the romantic option. He can pass through the gate because his love is supposedly genuine, but like Sarah, I'm just not seeing it. He gets angry at Sarah rejecting him and he sounds like a schoolboy denied a toy or pet rather than a scorned lover. And the worst, he still doesn't care about what she wants. Her decisions are disregarded if they challenge his world view, like she's a child that doesn't know what is good for her. Really, it's always all about what he wants, and while that is a natural flaw for him, his belief in his superiority isn't challenged but bolstered every time Sarah needs him to save her. He gets worse with every chapter and I hate him just a little bit more for it. So far, all Jareth has going for him is...sexiness? His charm is somewhat lacking, since he no longer uses clever repartee to argue, he just sticks his tongue down Sarah's throat whenever he gets the chance and calls that progress. He's not becoming a man (man-like-thing) worthy of a good woman, if anything he's devolving into something wretched and possessive like his old man. And then there is Sarah, who's situation gets worse by the second, but she's so stubborn she somehow isn't out of her mind frightened like the rest of us would be. Her shit situation doesn't dampen her libido in the least, which I find a bit ridiculous. I keep wishing and praying she'll devise something clever to earn a win for herself, but no, she has to rely on the GK to save her again and again because...she has no choice. I guess that's what really rankles me, that she has no choice in anything, yet she's supposed to be the "lucky girl" because the sexy Goblin King wants her and she's a Queen by accident. She has the choice to either be raped by Faes or play nice wifey for an entitled jerk. All these f*cking fairies who enforce their otherworld laws on the mortal world and force the humans to abide their rules like they own all three realms. I get more enraged with each chapter, since it seems like a waiting game now as to when Sarah will succumb to Jareth's "charms", which seems to be the only thing that really matters to anybody, the smut. I will say you've got the folklore going for you. I applaud the level of detail you put into the worldbuilding. It must have taken a lot of research and your dedication paid off. I have a hard time imagining Sarah's father as Scottish, since from what I remember from the film, he was very tan. I'd pin him as Mediterranean if anything, but whatever. |
![]() ![]() This is a really good story. But what I don't understand is why you made Sarah a blithering idiot. She doesn't deserve that. And to keep repeating that she is just stubborn really doesn't help. Jareth is not the brightest one here, either. For example, why does he not take her to his castle after the riding incident? There is a possibility she would be angry later, but my guess is, she really wouldn't. It would have saved them a whole lot of all kinds of pain. Sure, the story would be a bit shorter, but it would have been quality over quantity. |
![]() ![]() My bad. Is the boyfriend Goblin King's father Luc? |
![]() ![]() Disk is magical protection Sarah needs from hunt. |
![]() ![]() Luc is Jereth is my guess. Sarah is letting him in. Is he the thirteenth rider. Will he give her to the hunt, Gunther, or give dubious protection? |
![]() ![]() ![]() Adorable. What a lovely, wonderful ending. Thank you for this treat! |
![]() ![]() ![]() So close to the end, I can’t wait to see how this wraps up! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Holy £#& $8! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Jinx! :( |
![]() ![]() ![]() Gaaaahhhhh I love this so much~~~~~ |