Reviews for the aftermath series: The Web
tbs541 chapter 9 . 6/14/2012
One thing I noticed when I was reading your story is that you constantly cut away to other characters.

I want to see what Stirn and the other owlets are doing, instead over half of the story is about the villain and the Whillanol even though reading about them is interesting.

Don't get me wrong having a couple side plots is a good thing but you shouldn't focus so much on the side plots that you hinder the main plot. It is possible to have three different story lines and focus on them equally (for example I watched an anime called Baccano that somehow focused on three different story lines and gave them a satisfying ending)

P.S. I'm not telling you to ignore the other characters just to focus a bit more on the main characters.
tlc234stars chapter 8 . 6/9/2012
An okay story.
GuardianFan-HE chapter 8 . 6/8/2012
Great so far.
GuardianFan-HE chapter 1 . 6/8/2012
Awesome!
tbs541 chapter 8 . 5/30/2012
I finished reading your story. I don't have anything else to add to my previous review, except that you misspell coryn "coreyn" and that you have a couple of minor spelling mistakes.
tbs541 chapter 1 . 5/29/2012
I read some of your reviews and I think your comments are spot on, but your writing could use some help. The first problem I have is that when you describe something your description is bland and unintresting throw in some imigary to spice it up a little, but you shouldn't take it to far (like in lord of the rings). The main character's parents are to dumb to live, who in their right mind would walk up to heavily armed soldiers and ask them what they were doing. Isn't the whole dead parents as a character's motivation kind of cliched, I've seen that done millions of times.
Jeb Radic chapter 4 . 2/17/2012
I must say, this story is very good, being in what I deem the top 15%. I especially like your attempt at increasing the depth of the owl world's culture (Which was highly successful). The opening inspired emotion and gave Corod a good driving force for whatever he is planning on doing. I must say that I was taken completely off guard by what happened to Meeril and was left with "Wow" on the front of my mind.

Keep the good work up.