|Reviews for Akallabêth|
| Peregrin Took the Falcon chapter 1 . 5/10
Sauron definitely seems like the type to laugh himself silly over those Numenoreans. Just one question: who's the "we" referred to in the third line of the second-to-last stanza? I'm a little curious as to whose point of view this is from.
| Anonymuse chapter 1 . 4/26/2014
You always have such excellent poems
| LornaWinters chapter 1 . 1/7/2013
| Sauron Gorthaur chapter 1 . 6/9/2012
I’m sorry that it has taken me much longer than it should have to review this, which is another of your fabulous, beautiful poems. I’m glad that my poem was able to give you some of the inspiration for this piece.
What can I say? I fear I’m going to start sounding repetitive from my reviews of your other two poems. Once again, you’ve managed to pull off a lovely form poem that is powerful in its brevity, has rhymes that don’t seem forced, meter that flows, and great imagery. The language of this poem has a elevated feel to it, even though you don’t necessarily use any archaic language, and that elevated feel is, of course, very appropriate for the Silmarillion setting and also for the setting of the poem itself and the doom of Numenor. I felt that words/phrases like “weak-willed”, “twice” and “thrice”, “Doom”, “wrath”, and “claimed” all added to this elevated voice of the poem.
As I said, the rhymes work wonderfully. I know from experience that making rhymes flow and not seem forced can be quite difficult, but you make it look easy. Each stanza flows without a hitch – I didn’t consciously notice the rhymes sometimes even, which is what you want in a rhymed poem. They created a background music without popping out. The abcb rhyme scheme works really well, too (it’s actually my favorite rhyme scheme) and since it’s the ballad form, that also fits in well with the medieval story-telling setting of the poem. I particularly liked the rhyme of “laughed” and “shaft”; it’s subtle because of the difference in the way the words look and it works really well. And the same with the meter. It’s there, not it doesn’t stand out and sound forced, but rather creates a nice background sound that brings the whole piece unity.
Moving on from the details of poetic devises, some stuff I just liked in general. First, I liked the Akallabeth quote at the very beginning. It sets the stage and the tone for the piece beautifully. Going straight from that into the poem worked really well. The elevated style of your poem felt very natural next to the elevated language of the Silmarillion passage.
I love the repetition of the word “laughed” in the first four stanzas. Repetition, when it’s done right, always strengthens and adds emphasis and power to a piece. The pounding feel of that word again and again in the first four stanzas unites them, connects them, and gives them a feeling of power (if that makes sense).
I also like what this poem shows about Sauron’s character. Even though the narrator is distant and withdrawn, there are elements of Sauron’s point of view in it, just like the Akallabeth. I particularly liked that the poem refers to him as “the lord of all” in the first stanza. Of course, Sauron taking on the name “king of the earth” is what made Pharazon angry and started this whole mess in the first place, and that title “the lord of all”, in addition to being extremely arrogant, reflects that other title. This is one place where I feel Sauron’s point of view breaking through the distant narrator; only Sauron would think of himself of “the lord of all”. It shows his excessive arrogance, and by using that, he almost seems to be mocking Pharazon who was so angry at Sauron calling himself “king of the earth”.
My favorite stanza was the last one, however. You want a whole poem to be strong, but you want the beginning and the end to be particularly strong. You have nailed that. That last stanza is dramatic, has fantastic imagery, and is a powerful ending to a powerful poem. I love the image of “the Void of Morgoth’s Crown” and the meaning behind that. Morgoth’s iron crown set with the three Silmarils stands for so much in the book, supreme arrogance, greed, pride, pain, and tyranny, as well as all the connections with the Feanorian Oath. Not only is Sauron losing his physical body, but he is once and for all being consumed by his arrogance, pride, etc. in this moment. Wow, that is an amazing couple of lines, and I loved that as the ending.
I’m sorry if I got carried away with too technical terms about poetry and such and if I rambled a bit. But I really loved this poem, and I thought it carried all the dignity, power, and terror that such a piece needs. Well done! Keep on writing!
| JuneGilbertVivianRaeven chapter 1 . 3/20/2012
Wowie zowie another awesome poem! I dunno where you guys come up with them, i dunno the material inspiring them, but wow are thay cool. this one's kinda dark, but with a satirical twist. I likes it!
| Lysana chapter 1 . 3/7/2012
Cool! I love petry about Sauron, he's just so darn interesting! This was really well done, and I love the 'footsteps of doom' feeling I get from the progressing count in the verses. It's a very strong, dark, ominous rhythm. Perfect! Write lots more like it!
| Mornen chapter 1 . 2/21/2012
Ah, I liked how he kept laughing more and more 'once, twice, thrice' - it made me think that he was getting more and more smug until finally it all came crashing down on him. The thing is, this almost made me feel sorry for Sauron.
| Galad Estel chapter 1 . 2/16/2012
Sauron was very clever, but not clever enough...