|Reviews for Three Pawns|
| Guest chapter 4 . 10/24/2012
Please update soon.
| Leaf Ranger chapter 4 . 10/6/2012
Well this looks like an awesome fanfic. Funny and serious. Very nicely done.
Personally, if you do a pairing, I'm hoping it's either NaruHina or NaruTayu. Though he does seem to be getting pretty close to Kin. Guess we'll see, won't we?
Anyways, keep up the awesome work!
| Mic1988 chapter 1 . 9/14/2012
Hey are you going to update this? It's been six months and I'm worried that you've discontinued this.
| Guest chapter 2 . 7/8/2012
A very enjoyable story so far and I've liked how you made Dosu Zaku and Kin care for each other despite not showing it. Dosu giving Kin her Senbon when their where little and helping her showed they aren't evil. I think they actually did care about one another in canon. (Zaku saved Dosu from Lee's attack, Dosu sacrificed their scroll to Sasuke and pull back when he could've just left them. Vowing to avenge Zaku after Shino destroyed his arms and realizing that Orochimaru was using them)
This could've been a possible scenario that happened in cannon if Kishimoto hadn't decided to aimlessly kill them off.
| blinth chapter 4 . 6/24/2012
Interesting story, I like the general concept. Id say you only have to be careful not to overpower Naruto.
| Link chapter 4 . 6/13/2012
Good story so far and I'm interested in what happens next as its a unique take on what could've happened.
Though I'm curious, the past two chapters you have made reference to white hairs appearing in Kin's hair, is that the modifications Orochimaru gave her when she was young finally starting to take effect?
| WhiteCat2011 chapter 1 . 6/4/2012
Well-developed argument in Ebishu's favor!
| reven228 chapter 4 . 5/27/2012
Great story, really amazing. Keep goin and stay golden
| Akira Stridder chapter 4 . 5/16/2012
| Kyu chapter 4 . 5/7/2012
Update soon please.
| wingofpain chapter 4 . 4/26/2012
oh, no, i had the same idea about the three oto genin... oh well, it's a good fic.
I think the rest of the konoha 12 should appear, at least a little, by now. i don't think shikamaru would care,nor choji.
Some mistake in the first chapter, i don't see any (big) mistake in the last. (i didn't search them.)
I think it's the first time i read about a chicken summoner. poor zaku -_-.
Don't worry about kenchi618, he's one of the best in ffn, and sometimes i wonder if he isn't a professional writer.
Still your writting style isn't bad.
Did you plan to do a Zaku/ayame pairing? and a naruto/kin? and what pairing for dosu? you still probably don't have a definitive answer about it, but it should be interresting.
Do you plan to do some bashing on Kakashi, sasuke, sakura and kiba? (those poor guy are always being bashed.)
Kin is young and she had some white hair? why do i have the feeling it's because of her bloodline that didn't work implanted by orochimaru.
| Mzr90 chapter 4 . 4/19/2012
Ok this story is awesome with plenty of great moments especially the end I'm looking forward to more of this and hope to see Naruma! soon.
| mellra chapter 4 . 4/17/2012
Really good story, I hope you plan to update soon so we can find out how the events in this story will further change the results of the finals. Also hope that Sakura will at least hear Naruto out and eventually forgive him.
| Serebro chapter 4 . 3/31/2012
Good story and I like it so far but I can't help but notice in the scenes with Kin this chapter you hint that she likes girls. I thought she was going to be paired with either Zaku or Naruto.
| VD for VANDitta chapter 4 . 3/31/2012
I love this fanfic. It's not without flaws, mostly grammatical/stylistic, but it is such a refresher to see an AU story where the Sound Trio aren't treated as dumbasses, fodder (as everybody sees them now, thanks to Kishi being "realistic" ...for about two characters -_-), or the total psychopaths they were misdirectingly hyped as. The three showed off some great techniques in a limited span of time, and 2/3 actually came off as quite sympathetic.
There are still some iffy parts as I see it, mainly the self-assured Dosu warming up a little too quickly to Naruto, and Zaku switching to anti-Orochimaru too fast. Not saying Dosu can't warm up to Naruto or that Zaku can't see Oro for who he is, but I think you make the switch too sudden, without enough internal struggle from the Sound-nin. However, for the most part, they do read like my favorite forgotten team; Dosu calm and analytical, Zaku cocky and somewhat cold, and Kin haughty and easily irritated.
The premise is the shakiest thing, IMO. Naruto deciding to pursue the trio and fight Kabuto in the first place should also have been strengthened (I think you should've given Naruto more internal justification, so to speak; after all, he has a lot of reason to like Kabuto and hate the trio).
However, beyond that, you do well at showing characters' personalities and the progression of events. The meetings with the Hokage were done nicely, in-character, and having both Jiraiya and Ebisu tutoring is a very interesting change, full of potential (with chakra control emphasized, I have high hopes that the basic ninja tactics such as stealth and transformation will get some spotlight).
The sound genins' hinted-at new powers are promising. Earth style for Dosu, under-used element, genjutsu for Kin, under-used in general, and summons for Zaku; a little advanced, but you play it off well with the others having little confidence, and chickens are not only appropriate for Zaku, but nicely removed from common Mary-Sue animals.
For upcoming chapters: first of all, I don't know whether you should skip the rest of the month or not. I think it mainly depends on whether or not you consider the significant hurdles in Naruto and the sound-nins' training "done," and also on whether you want to show skills developing, or surprise your audience with them. Whatever you do, don't downplay the fights to come! You may be making Dosu stronger, but Shikamaru is still a genius.
On a different note, what makes me really excited is seeing the further reactions of the rest of team 7 to Naruto's new friends, not to mention Orochimaru's reaction to seeing his "test subjects" developing their skills well beyond what he intended.
On the subject of the time-skip fashions for the three; I found two possible sets of outfits you could use online, and could probably BS another wardrobe myself if you'd like. I'll send them to you via PM momentarily.
You haven't updated for a while, but I really hope you keep this one going. As rare as a story with the Sound 3 receiving character development and heightened skill is, it's even more rare to see one get finished; I hope yours breaks that trend!