Reviews for Lost in Time: Yesterday's Child
MagentaSpy chapter 3 . 8/11/2013
Hello! Once again, I'm hear to review chapter 3!

So, lets first start off with a humorous scene :)

-["Do you think they realised how dumb they are yet?"

Ellie smiled at Claire, taking in a deep breath as she soaked up the atmosphere of Trafalgar Square. Everywhere she looked she saw masses of people going about their lives. Closing her eyes, she could hear almost everything; the cars, the laughter, the thronging of life around her.

A contented sigh drifted out of her, overjoyed to finally see the future with her own two eyes; staring at it from a distance through glass had never quite satisfied her.

"Probably," Ellie replied, her smile growing wider. "They aren't the sharpest rocks in the cave."

Claire chuckled, taking a swig from her wine glass.

"You can say that again!"

"To idiot husbands," Ellie said, raising her glass. "Long may they take the flak of boring meetings for us."

"Hear hear," Claire said, chinking her glass and drinking. She paused, eyes peering in the distance. A knowing smile crept over her face, shooting a wink in Ellie's direction. "Speaking of the devil..."

It took Ellie a few moments to understand before she turned to look. On seeing their bored, frustrated faces, she pondered whether she should do the decent thing and looked at least a little sorrowful for what they did...or laugh.

Choices, choices...]-

He he, you still have your humor :). Many scenes in this chapter either made me smile or laugh. Kudos for that :D!

I'm loving the way the flashback scenes are told. It's very creative in my opinion :). It works very well, too. It fits the story so perfectly.

So I can see that there are way more references to CI:L than I thought...

-[Manny blinked, suddenly realising the obvious thing he was missing. Eyes darting up, he instinctively took in a sharp breath of air at the sight. The mammoth looked older than he did, his fur - evidently a light shade of brown - had begun to turn to grey. He managed to get a quick glimpse of the mammoth's face as the pachyderm scanned the area calmly. Granted, he noticed a few wrinkles around his face, but he was certain of who he was staring at.

"William..." He murmured to himself, as if only then realising.]-

I also forgot to put two and two together to realize that Hudson is the same wolf as the one Diego became friends with in CI:L...I feel kind of dumb for not figuring that out :P. I'm kind of late to the party on that one.

It doesn't sound like the other animals inside the valley are too fond of humans...

-["We found out later that it wasn't because we appeared out of thin air that they wanted to kill us," Mark explained to an alert, silent courtroom. "It was who appeared out of thin air."

"Would you care to explain, Lieutenant?" Justice Johnson quizzed.

Mark swallowed, unsure how he could phrase it without casting the ancestors of at least half the room sound intolerant.

"Lieutenant?" The judge said again.

"It was, ah, Frank," Mark said haltingly. "And Claire, and Ben...they wanted to kill the humans who had appeared amongst them."]-

I hope they become friends quickly, or things between them might not turn out so well :E.

This story is still doing great! I love every chapter of it so far, still! I still can't find a single thing wrong with this story, besides some very minor grammatical errors once in a while. It's amazing! Keep up the good work!

Well, time to go do another chapter of CI:L, and review it like crazy as well ;).

See ya at Chapter 4 :D!
MagentaSpy chapter 2 . 8/8/2013
Well, time to review the first two chapters to the sequel of one of my favorite fanfictions.

Still loving it, as you can guess. It's nice to see the herd happy again, considering the events that had happened to them. Well, most are happy. I doubt Diego is considering the fact his leg was amputated :(. I hoped that over the twelve years, that nothing had happened to them, and I guess I was a tiny bit lucky in that case since no one died, as we all know how much you like to taunt us with your dark side :).

I love how the intro of the first chapter was! I loved the flashback entrance and how Mark was dressed in uniform. It's funny for me to picture animals wear military clothing. I got giddy when Frank completely did the opposite of what he was supposed to do during court, blurting out that he was a Guardian. Seeing Sam facepalm got me laughing :).

Speaking of "seeing", the details you use to describe things are amazing! I can picture everything that has happened through the vocabulary you have.

Now on to chapter 2.

Again, loving your use of words! I'm starting to realize how the herd is reacting to Diego's disability. Diego is going to have a hard time to take it in. I still feel heartbroken by how much all of them have been through, and I don't think Manny is dealing with is too good:

-[Manny looked on, unsure whether he wanted to reel, cry, or just throw up at the sight in front of him. Peering through layers of glass, the herd didn't speak, staring at their fallen member. Diego lay unnervingly still in his bed, surrounded by instruments and doctors. Yet his eyes never stayed on anything else except the stump where his leg used to be. As a doctor walked up towards them, he finally willed his eyes to tear away from the bloodied stump.

"How is he, Nigel?" Frank asked quietly.

Nigel let out a sigh, ripping off his gloves.

"Diego's critical, but stable. We're keeping him sedated for the time being, and we want to keep him here for at least a week. If some of you could be present when he wakes up, that would ease the shock."

"We were going to do that anyway, even if you didn't let us," Manny replied gruffly. "When do you reckon he'll be awake?"

He watched the doctor keenly, sensing his weariness, his frustration, his...

He looks like he hasn't slept in days, he realised. Nigel rubbed his over-tired eyes,

"He won't be awake for the next day or so," He said.

"What happens then?" Ellie said.

"Once Diego's recovered, then we can offer him a prosthesis," Nigel replied. "There have been many advancements in prosthetics over the last few years; we can make it look, move and feel indistinguishable from a real limb...for all intents and purposes, it would be a real leg. And, given the healthy condition he was in prior to the incident, he could theoretically regain full use of it."

"Theoretically?" Ellie spluttered. "He has no leg. How can he regain full use of something's that's not there anymore?"

Frank reached out, clasping Ellie's tusk gently. His eyes never left Diego.

"A prosthesis is an artificial limb," He murmured. Manny saw tears in his eyes when he turned to look at Ellie. "He's getting a leg back."

"He's not going to see it that way," Mark replied mutedly. "You know he isn't."

"'oo would?" Buck said. "The guy loves to 'unt, an' 'e's going to wake up an' find 'is leg missing... 'e's going to 'ave a 'ard time with this. 'e's not going to take this well."

Manny nodded, quickly wiping the tears from his eyes.

"Yeah," He said. "That's where we come in."]-

The final sentence is one of my favorites in this chapter. The herd is so loving and caring! It also shows why Manny is my favorite character :).

Another reason why Manny is my favorite character is:

-{"YOU!"

Manny's trunk pointed accusingly at Frank, leading everyone's gaze to the near-murderous stare of his. Seated as he was in the homestead, opposite Buck, Frank couldn't help but smile.

The mammoth was playing chess, and it didn't take a master to tell he was losing.

Terribly.

"YOU!" Manny once more accused. "You knew this would happen! You brought this game into my life to make me miserable."

"You love chess," Frank corrected him, promptly dropping himself onto the nearest chair to watch the game. "And you have made losing at it into such a beautiful art form."

"Yeah," Manny conceded. "I suck at it. Don't deny it Frank, you knew; somehow you knew I would love this game, and suck at it and-"

"Apparently I also knew you would successfully manage to lose every game you ever played?" He said, smiling insinuatingly.

Manny snorted at him derisively, dismissing the argument he knew he had lost and returned to the game...which he was also losing. Frank knew the mammoth well enough to know when he's stuck.

And Manny was definitely stuck.

The pachyderm's eyes darted across the board, trying to find a way out of the vice like grip he had found himself in. Yet no matter where he looked, what plan could be seen formulating in his eyes, he slowly deflated, realising there was no way out for his king. He glared at the weasel sitting opposite him, eyes full of resentment for ever putting him in such a position.

Buck sat there, smugly relaxed on his seat,

"It's yer move, mate!" Buck said, snapping Manny out of his pondering. "It isn't easy beatin' ya if you aren't gonna move."

"Don't rush me!" Manny snapped, more forcefully than he intended. Everything about him positively screamed that he wanted to win, was desperate to win. Just this once.

His trunk moved slowly towards the board, yet not before he shot Frank a glance that could only be described as;

Damn you Frank! Damn you for getting me into this game!

Seeing his options collapse around him, he forced himself to make the only move he could. Begrudgingly, he moved his queen in front of his king, blocking Buck's rook.

"Ah!" Buck said, smirking. "I 'ad an inklin' you'd do that!"

"It's the only thing I could do," Manny replied bluntly. He cast his glance back to the board with a defeated, knowing look as to what would happen. "Just make your move."

At a snail's pace, the weasel moved his rook forward, supplanting Manny's queen.

And that was that; Manny the moody mammoth had lost. Again.

"Checkmate!" Buck said gleefully.

"I hate you," Manny said flatly, looking at Frank. "If I could go back in time and sit on you and kill you before you gave Buck the idea of carving some tree into this torture you call a game, I would."

"But Manfred dearest," Frank replied sarcastically. "How ever would you win then?"]-

I can tell Manny and Frank get along very well :). I also love how you mixed universes with Cruel Intentions using Clovis as Manny's father. I wonder if there will be more references to it?

Anyways, this sequel looks like its going GREAT! I will review the other chapters as soon as possible. Please keep updating this as well! I'm hope there's going to be a chapter by the time I'm done reading and reviewing these ;).

P.S.: I hope you remember about making sure you don't kill Manny...I've got my eye on you :3.

-MagentaSpy-
DiegoRedeemedLover chapter 9 . 6/7/2013
Hello again!

First offf *salivates*

["AARGGH!"

For the hundredth time that day, Diego keeled over his artificial leg, reacting to the all-too-real discomfort. The bright, spacious and airy room they had chosen for his physiotherapy felt like a torture chamber to him, with kindly people - and Manny - looking on anxiously as they inflicted the same torture on him over and over again,

"Come on Diego!" Manny said. "Just a few steps more!"

Walking.

Not for the first time did the lies of all the doctors and his friends come to mind; you'll be running soon, this leg is as good as your old one; you'll be back to normal in no time...

All lies. They were pleasant and soothing lies when he was curled up on his bed.

They were anything but now.

"Do not rush me!" Diego snapped, slowly easing himself back up onto his feet. His leg - and everything it was attached to - itched wildly, as if his body wanted nothing to do with it. The fur felt wrong purely because of how right it felt. Even the almost noiseless sounds it made whenever he moved it sounded deafening to his ears. He sighed, shaking his head,

"This isn't going to work." He stated.

Defeat. It didn't suit him, yet he was staring it right in the face, laughing at him as it drained what little dignity and honour he had left. No matter what anyone said - be they friends or doctors or the gods themselves - he knew that a sabre that couldn't hunt was no sabre at all.

What, then, was a sabre who couldn't even walk?

Non-sabres - a grouping he had slowly come to see himself as - didn't need to adhere so rigidly to honour...at least, that's what he was trying to tell himself. Deep down he knew it wouldn't work; all the pain and discomfort in the world wouldn't drown out the voice in the back of his head, reminding him of his dishonourable defeat.

In the corner of his eye, he saw Manny sigh, piercing him with a look that seemed to him to be the embodiment of pain.

"Could you leave us alone for a minute, guys?" The mammoth said to the wider room.

He silently thanked his old friend for reducing the army of disappointed stares down to just one pair of eyes. Kneeling down beside him, he felt the pachyderm's trunk hold his shoulders gently.

"You've gotta keep trying Dee," Manny said quietly. "You're not going to walk unless you try."

He tried to shrug the trunk off of his shoulder, only to fail feebly. He slumped onto the ground, leaning his face away from his friend.

"Trying hurts," He stated mutedly. "Giving up hurts less."

"That doesn't sound like you," Manny retorted. "You never give up."

The truth of it tore at his heart, but he held his ground, instead opting to gesture with his artificial limb,

"That was before. Before...this."

"This?" Manny remarked in disbelief, eyeing the leg. "This is something special, Dee. It's a-"

"What's so special about it?" He spat back, rounding on his friend. He couldn't be bothered to hide the tears welling in his eyes. "I'm in pain, Manny. I have been in pain for months, and for what? This damn thing? I should be grateful that I'm gonna live out the rest of my life in suffering, all so that I can limp?"

Manny's eyes narrowed slightly, only adding to the tense silence between the two.

"You and I both know that the only reason you're still alive is that we have friends in the future," The pachyderm's voice was all too measured, too tonally neutral, to be anything other than forced. "By all rights, you should have died on that battlefield, Dee. Almost no one from our time survives something like that. You did."

He lowered his gaze to the floor, unable to look Manny in the eye anymore, lest the guilt grow any stronger.

"Not only did you live after losing your leg," Manny continued. "But they have given you a new one that they say will one day be just as good as your old one. How many people from our time have ever had that chance?"

"...no one."

"No one," Manny agreed. "No one but you. So shut up, quit complaining, and get up off the floor. Sabres don't give up so easily. Remember that."

It was a strange order of affairs when the mammoth was acting more like the sabre. Maybe it was the words, maybe it was the emotion and forcefulness behind it - or maybe it was just because it was Manny that said it - but he felt himself rise up off of the ground. The pain and discomfort was all too real for him.

Nevertheless, he managed a smile to his old friend, and walked. It felt glorious to him; nothing could quite compare to the realisation that he was walking again, even if it was with a limp. Not even his crashing to the ground after just six steps detracted from that moment; it was a start, a place they can work from

a second chance.

I'll be walking in no time, he decided. And then, I will run.

He saw the very same thought flash across Manny's face, presenting itself as a proud smile,

"Good!" Manny declared. "Now, let's see if we can walk eight steps now."] All the Manny and Diego friendship, gaaah you always write it so well and it just makes my heart overflow with happiness and they are such brothers together ;; And ahh, that scene is just so moving and I love how your works have a focus on Manny and Diego's friendship, it's so rarely found throughout the archive and you go so in depth with it :3

And ohhh man, the scene where Ellie and Mark and Claire are elected to the elders is such a great moment; you can practically see it happening! :D

Hehe, "Diego son of Cortez" ;DDDDDD

Also, the action parts are so suspenseful it's so exciting to read! :D

Anyway, in short, this is just an amazing, exciting, beautifully written chapter and I can't wait to see more :3 :)
Andsorryfortakingsolongtoreviewiexplainedwhyiprocr astinatedonthischapterforsolongbecauseofwhathappen edlastyear in the other review.

Until next update,

Tawny :)
DiegoRedeemedLover chapter 10 . 6/6/2013
Okay, first off, so sorry I'm so long in reviewing! And let me just, as a fan, tell you what my reaction to this chapter is: akfjgkdfgkgjkajklgjadfljgfkdaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aal
Yes that's good you have reduced me to incoherency (but then you usually do, so this shouldn't come as a surprise XD)
Anyway, just how you write your dialogue is so vivid and realistic! I can so "see" in my own head how it's playing out and one of the things I've long admired about your writing is your ability to write dialogue so well since it's something I think I struggle with to portray adequately, but reading your work and seeing your skill with it has really helped me in my own dialogue I think. :D

By the way, love the skillful inclusion of the poem and how it's a paean to foreshadowing, so excellent and because the poem itself is so enigmatic that heightens the suspense. :D

And haha, this part:
[" 'The Calling of the Guardians' ?" She read aloud, sending a brief look of surprise at Frank, who nodded. She took a deep breath,] reminds me of this music: www . youtube watch?v245sbK0rpkU from Rise of the Guardians, DreamWorks' movie that released on my birthday last year! It's simply amazing and on par with HTTYD for me :D And it's even more cool since we both have Guardians in our stories ;D

Also, oh man, this chapter just reads so well! The pacing lends it a smooth flow and it's like sequences from a movie, which you know that I love seeing in writing, and you execute it so well :D

And oh man, all of the suspense and tension you breathe into the dialogue, it's so lovely! By the way, I am so so sorry that this review (and the one for the chapter before it... by the way, thank you for not releasing that chapter right away, I'm not sure I would've have been able to bear it since it would've been so triggering to me, and I don't think I've ever thanked you for delaying it because its potency so impacted me at the time, and I will review it tomorrow) is so late, especially since this wondrous story deserves more reviews and I love it and I can't wait to see the rest of the series as it unfolds ;D and i'm sorry that I've taken so long with it since I keep getting distracted with other writing works and other fandoms that keep me more distracted... and I hope you realise that these are just excuses and once again I'm so sorry for taking so long D: . (will it please you to know that CI Half a Mammoth is complete and that you were right about the 10k word count? :P)

Anyway, how is Weaver coming along? I hope it's coming along really swell for you, and if you ever need for me to promote ya again, I can! Tumblr's a great place to get people interested in stuff ;D

By the way, is there any chance I might be able to see you on Skype sometime soon or have you forgotten that you have one? I'd love to catch up with you about whatever and maybe discuss ideas for both of our series (btw I am still trying to corral people to get over here and review YC but I think a lot of our Ice Age ff dot net friends are busy and I miss Goddess a lot ;;) and there's also that matter of the email I sent you that you never replied to XD but you're busy so I understand. :)

Anyway, excellent update, jaw-dropping ending (with such a fine twist ohmyword) and I can't wait for the next chapters! :D

God bless,

Tawny
KaylaDestroyer chapter 10 . 1/10/2013
Oh, and a couple other things I forgot to mention; I love how Sid is such a genius moron! He can copy down the Bredelands Chronicles and he's learned how to speak the language of Runar and his tribe! And I found the one line where Frank's ears were ringing with 'wolves promising doom' just absolutely hilarious! I don't know why, but I was so tickled by the way you phrased that! XD

So yeah, that should be it. Oh yes and Amen to Frank reminding Sam about what God said about 'Thou shalt have no other gods before me'. So again, plz update soom! I MUST KNOW MORE!
KaylaDestroyer chapter 10 . 1/9/2013
Awesome chapter! And yet...depressing almost, shocking, unbelievable! So Breda is in truth a fairytale, and SAM of all people has taken and used that tale to her advantage! She has done many horrible things that...us readers have no idea of yet! And she claimed to be Christian! Makes no sense, no sense at all...Why would she do any of this?

Is she working with the Remnant as well perhaps? What is her plan, what is he up to? And it appears that Cartwright, their only hope of beating the Remnant, has been killed, and now they know that the Remnant, whoever they are, are form the herd's own timeline! This is getting insaner by the chapter break! What is going on? Will the herd be able to save its own timeline? What will Sam have to say of herself?

What will happen next? Update soon!

By the way, very cool how you've been working on that board game! It sounds awesome! And sorry it took me so long to review, it's just when you posted I knew I wouldn't have enough time to write a proper review and I needed to make sure I wrote it on a laptop instead of a phone because I would need adequate space to write a review this long. So anyway, this is so exciting and downright SHOCKING! Plz update again as soon as possible, I want to know more!
Kamaitachi chapter 9 . 9/4/2012
Awesome fic, please update soon! Also, will there be appearances by any of the new characters introduced in Ice Age 4?
ludwig.fan chapter 9 . 7/14/2012
Good job. ;) Can't wait for more action.
PurplePurplePurple chapter 9 . 7/13/2012
Another excellent, riveting, awesome chapter.
KaylaDestroyer chapter 9 . 7/12/2012
AWESOME chapter! Okay, SO:

The scene with Cartwright beign the king is in the 'past' before Diego lost his leg

And the ending of this chapter is in the 'present' where Diego has lost his leg?

That's kinda' the only way I can base it. I was actually trying to figure out what they were trying to solve in the 'present' with Diego's messed up leg, but then I rememebred they're retelling their story to a judge! XD Or were at least...since in the last chapter Ben was very uncivilized and left the courtroom. So many questions to ask...so many events unwitnessed by the readers, and yet we are reading the aftermath of those events, waiting for it all to join together. When will this new chpter of madness in the LiT series end? Will there be an ending or will it continue in the next story after this? Sory I'm not reviewing much on this actualy chapter, I'm just not sure wht to say.

1. It's an awesome chapter, it's all epic even without all the action you've promised us in the next chapter.

2. There might be a few grammaticl errors here and there, maybe a sentnce missing a word or a word spelled wrong, but overall it's awesome. :)

3. As always, it's slightly befuddling since you have to read the first paragraph after every line break before you figure out where you are and who's narrating and what they're engaging in...but I'm actually starting to get used to that and master it, so keep it coming! I wanna' read soemmore of this epically twisted tale!

4. You know, these two stories you've done so far; you might think them easier to read if you just went back and read the whole finished product...but the chapters are so long, it woud take you forever, and FF is constantly being updated, so you get way behind on all the other stories you're reading. Believe me, I read just about all of them. XD Besides, I once went back and tried to reread LiT: Origins once. Never finished reading the whole thing for a second time. XD

So please update soon! I wanna' see all the action in the next chapter!
PurplePurplePurple chapter 8 . 6/28/2012
asldkfnawoea.
Lordy do I love this! I wish I was good at critique and tell you how to make it better but I can't when it's all ready perfect. What do I love? ALL of it.
ludwig.fan chapter 8 . 6/16/2012
I don't think that Manny would have fallen off a cliff by accident. He seems a lot more careful than that. I think someone attacked him and he fell.

Anyways, update soon. ;)
mwang chapter 8 . 6/12/2012
Loved it! I can't wait to hear more!

PS

yeah...I actually do have an account..I just...never really login to review...yeah sorry about that :)
DiegoRedeemedLover chapter 8 . 6/11/2012
First off, hello again :) Second, kudos on writing a 15k chapter! ;) :) It flows so smoothly and tis all around magnificent, especially the plethora of well-written Manny/Diego friendship prevalent throughout. :D :D :D

One thing I loved about their friendship emphasis is how past and present provided book ends for each other in each instance, as shown here by these quotes :) :

["And..." He trailed off slightly. "Thanks...for staying with me."

The pachyderm smiled,

"You did the same for me before."]

That part is even slightly reminiscent of "that's what you do in a herd" from the original film! :)

[Moments later, the telltale flash of white light illuminated the cliffs above. Satisfied, he sat down beside his unconscious friend and kept watch. He felt over-tired, dirty, filthy, hungry and exhausted, but not once did he move from Manny's side.

"You'd do the same for me." He murmured at the unconscious pachyderm.]

I just love the incredibly sweet friendship that these two have had since the original movie after Manny saved Diego's life, and you write it all so beautifully! :D ;) :)

I also like how fast-paced this chapter is written, with the montages from the past and the more sedate, calmer sequences in the present; it works really well. :)

It's also neat to turn the focus to the younger generation - and Roshan - and see how they are trying to take things in stride. I thought Roshan's suggestion to let Peaches fight made sense; he's warrior born and bred, no doubt he knows that is a good way of relieving stress xD

Peaches' tendency towards being battle-hardy is a fascinating element to develop, especially how it brings up the moral question of whether having child soldiers is the right thing to do, although, in Peaches' case, it's easily apparent how outsiders would misconstrue the herd just wanting to turn her into a deadly weapon, not realising that if she didn't want that training she could have possibly been dead.

The balances of humour in the midst of all the battles and turmoil brought on by the tribunal was very funny!

["Of all the people to like glossy mags, it had to be our resident bookworm," He could practically hear the amused smile that sat on Frank's face. "Even the literate fall for bright pictures and gossip eventually."]

Hehe, that reminds me of myself lol xD

I LOVE this sentence here - it's so good :D

[Claire was convinced butterflies had nested in her stomach, gerbils had found a home at the back of her throat, and her tongue had grown too big for her mouth. Hundreds of elders sat on seemingly countless rows in a chamber that felt too much like an arena to fight dens of lions for her tastes.]

That is such a good description of the fear many people have about public speaking! :)

I love the twist (to the council) that the herd does in fact have a guide in the from of one Roshan Runurson (sorry, been watching Thor recently :P), that was brilliant! :)

["Honourable Elders, Regent, Chancellor and Advocate, may I introduce to you, Diego, son of Cortez, elder for the Val do Resto. And also Frank, son of Christopher, elder of the same, and Roshan, son of Runar, heir-presumptive to the Chieftainship of the Danaru, the largest of the twelve tribes of humanity."]

Diego son of Cortez! :D :D Given the references (at least in name, to CI ;)) I'm really beginning to grow fond of the idea of you writing a backstory to show how your LiT Cortez and Clovis are different from mine because of the LiT!Verse environment they grew up in ;) :)

Also, another aspect I loved was the character development present when Claire Howard shows herself a worthy elder before the council. That moment was so amazingly written! :D And tis one of Claire's Crowning Moments of Awesome, to be sure! :D

I love this reference to the Bredelands' history as set down in the Chronicles!

["True. With respects, Regent, we considered your position, and thought otherwise." She gave him a slight smile.

"We thought otherwise? Or you thought?"

"It was a collective effort," She replied. He finally allowed the smile to break out,

"Good gods, you're sounding more like a politician by the second!" He boomed as he beckoned her to walk beside him, slowly making their way to the great entrance of the chamber. "So it was your idea then?"

She shrugged,

"Yes. Although I can't take all the credit; Sid's already copied out a fair chunk of the cave texts you showed us, and I took some...inspiration...from it. Regent Perseus' actions with regards to the Fallen King in the hundred and twenty fourth year of the Bredelands, to be precise."

His head snapped around, eyeing her with surprise,

"Breda wept," He muttered. "You lot have been here barely a month and already you know our history better than half these elders do."

"How can we truly guard what a nation stands for, unless we understand where it came from?" She replied.]

And such words of wisdom from Claire at the end! I'm excited to see how her character develops and grows along with others such as her son Ben, and Mark and Peaches and Roshan throughout this story. I think we have many more crowning moments ahead for all of us readers! ;) :)

The search for Peaches leads smoothly into the fact that she's with the others, excellent use of sequencing! In fact, that moment with Claire, Keira and Ellie was a fine blend of humourous moments (such as Keira's pride at the people of the valley rebuilding their homes) and fear (such as when Claire and Ellie - who are both in perfect character) begin asking where Peaches is.

Oooh cliffhanger and a return to an ominous place of the original story!

It was an especially neat moment when Noa speaks up for Roshan when the bear guard protests, it'll be so fascinating to *see* what kind of things he will undergo out here! ;)

Amazing chapter! I can't wait to see the rest of this story, and all the rest in the series!

Speak soon hopefully! :)

God bless!

Tawny :)
KaylaDestroyer chapter 8 . 6/11/2012
AWESOME chapter! Sometimes you forget this is all being presented at a court. ;) Too much stuff (awedone stuff) to even begin compiling here! So I'll say this: this was an awesome chapter - partially cause Diego got his leg back and Peaches got her sword, bot to mention Diego actually drove a truck XD - and I can't wait for chapte nine to come rolling in! ;D
40 | Page 1 .. Last Next »