|Reviews for Lips of an Angel|
| WriterMushroom chapter 11 . 9/11
It's fine to have two bathrooms. My house is pretty small, but we have the bathrooms.
| Oreosenpaii chapter 14 . 2/24
Great story, but in my opinion they got together way to fast for as people do t typically start dating within the first week of thought, I loved this fanfic and I hope u make a sequel. Probably not tho Judging by your profile...
| bladecrossmaster chapter 14 . 12/30/2015
last chapter was a little confusing, but the fanfic is pretty good overall
| infeerotiger chapter 5 . 12/29/2015
This is really good. I really like this ,thank you very much. I do wish your health gets better,its always very sad and inspiring when someone such as you continues on doing what they have a passion for even when they get hospitalized. I just wish you had better grammar ,and less spelling mistakes. You also keep switching from present tense to other tenses,and also switch the him/her he/she parts. An editor could sort these problems out. Also I can kinda guess you are not a native english speaker,so that's kinda understandable. Also,one more thing, this advice might be kinda irrelevant now,consudering the amount of time that has passed, but still. Thank you very much.
| AngelsPrince chapter 14 . 12/13/2015
Great story! The ending is really well written. Just some grammatical blips here and there.
| Anonymous Fan chapter 14 . 11/7/2015
Very well written. It kept me up all night as i had just finished watching the real thing. It really helped me see a new part of the series through the eyes of a committed fan who wrote a new chapter in the movie basically. I feel like you could really keep this up, even if its been a while, a sequel would be a great thing to see and read. I'm sure if you did make a sequel, you could find new events to add that'd make it even more interesting and addicting to read.
| RoryThePotato chapter 8 . 10/8/2015
Aaaaannnndddd this is exactly why I only read completed fanfics.
| a.k.a. Kusabi chapter 14 . 5/27/2015
It's a good story.
Firstly, as a student of Grammar Nazi University, I want to address some spelling and grammar mistakes, with format:
X, Y ()
Where X is what you wrote, Y is what it should be in my opinion, and () is additional comment from me. Hopefully, it could make your story better.
Here it is, with chronological order:
Mapo Tofu, Mapo Doufu (you used Mapo Doufu in previous chapters. I think the right term is Mapo Tofu, though)
Iya,, nothing, Iya, nothing (you used double commas after Iya)
K-kanade, K-Kanade (Kanade is the name of a person. 'Nuff said)
Yuzuru jaw, Yuzuru's jaw
so very happy, so happy/very happy (no need to use so and very simultaneously to emphasize the feeling)
we're set off, were set off
back reality, back to reality
plates & utensils, plates and utensils (ampersand is not used in this circumstance)
hotdog & cheese, hotdog and cheese
Onii-chan, YOU KNOW, ONII-CHAN, YOU KNOW (why didn't you write onii-chan with capital while the rest of the sentence is written with capital?)
Publication club, Publication Club
Hehe", Hehe." (you didn't use . to end the quotation)
"Crap."., "Crap." (no need to add . after quotation marks)
glad too, glad to
Lelz (is this another form of lols?)
ham & cheese, ham and cheese
your Imouto, your imouto (imouto is little sister. You don't write Yuzuru's Little Sister, right?)
let let herself, let herself
computers anime, computers, anime (put comma between computers and anime)
They seem, They seemed
with looking, without looking
Such Misfortune, Such misfortune
Iced Tea, iced tea (is iced tea a brand?)
Ice cream, ice cream
their train, the train (it's not like they own the train, right?)
"Alright. Just be.. until the rest of sentence (write it with italics)
slip o' tongue, slip of tongue
He said out as, He said as
he asks, he asked
Ice cream, ice cream (twice)
organizer(Nobody, organizer (Nobody (you didn't use space between organizer and ()
"Hehe, sorry (why did you write this sentence with bold letters?)
out of placed, out of place
Kanade though, Kanade thought
look on look carved, look carved
ignored her, ignored him (Yuzuru is a guy, isn't he?)
Iced Tea, iced tea
Frozen Tea, frozen tea
do play, do you play
this fang, this pang
looks at her, looked at her
game him, gave him
slight worried, slightly worried
makes her worries, made her worries
He seem to, He seemed to
as composed, as she composed
I think that's all. There's lack of comma and period here and there, but it's a minor problem. Oh, suffix -koi is unheard of. I think suffix -chan is preferable here.
Secondly, about the plot. I'll be blunt here. If your story is adapted into anime, it will be boring, with characters blushing all the time. However, you did mention that your story is a slice of life, which is understandable to be boring. Reading your story is like watching Non Non Biyori. It makes me calm and enjoying relationship between characters without thinking too much about it.
That's my two cents. Keep up the good work.
| BlackCloud99 chapter 1 . 2/5/2015
Pleas made sequel .. pleeaaasee pleaasee pleeaaase T_T
| Anon-Shi chapter 14 . 9/6/2014
Awesome FF! I almost (Yeah, almost) cried on the last chapter. Though, something bothered me, wasn't it Yuzuru who gave/donated his heart to Kanade? :l Nevertheless, I enjoyed it. 100/10
| dougie.zhangds chapter 2 . 8/27/2014
| OtakuAustin chapter 14 . 7/26/2014
Amazing *is cri*
| kuroame09 chapter 14 . 7/23/2014
seriously you should make a sequel... this story is awesome and i liked it... not to mention some parts of it actually made me kinda emotional and ALMOST cried but yeah i would really love to see a sequel to this story... if there was you can cont me as a supporter for that!..
| Guest chapter 14 . 7/9/2014
I don't know what to put here. My reaction was like a god gazing happily upon creation. But then again, I didn't write this. So more or less, all I could do was smile.
| Sekirei no 109 chapter 14 . 6/26/2014
i have to say this is one of the best stories in the entire site. I have a request, if you could please continue the story. Pls,pls,pls, *applies puppy dog eyes*