Reviews for We The Marauders
Eleni.Hoax chapter 39 . 5/3/2014
On the last chapter - I reviewed quickly and I just completely love the way you wrap it all up and bring it together. How he goes from lavishing in the Wing to realize every single one of all the people he must go save. It is very selfless. Great writing. Good characterization.

Here I really like how flying gets him back going, and that it even extends to him floating above the group, not focusing, which shows his second year flaws. Kids - even brilliant ones - have moments when they just space out into their own little world, even when the situation calls for seriousness, as does this one. Pretty good!

As for the rest of the chapter, pretty darn good!
:)
Eleni.Hoax chapter 38 . 4/8/2014
This was great. The way you tied it up and brought it back to his thoughts in the beginning and making him realize he can't be selfish - it wasn't just an eventful chapter. It wasn't just stated, dramatic thought - it was character growth done is the best way possible.
Eleni.Hoax chapter 37 . 2/12/2014
Ooooh. This... is so good.
Probably one of my favorite (and most original) fanfiction chapters. Very well thought out and deep. The less words I have for it, the more I appreciate it and it's originality.
Eleni.Hoax chapter 36 . 2/12/2014
Well, I definitely agree that Sirius needed to hear that he is loved, but I don't think it should have gushed out repeatedly like that with James cooing and shushing all in one go. That DOES make it seem romantic.
But I do love his realization of the existence of love but the absence of it in his home. That was class A stuff right there.
Eleni.Hoax chapter 34 . 2/12/2014
I. . . wow, I can't even find the words for this one. I can't wait until he comes back and we get to know his backstory. The relationship is really raw between the two, and yes, I do see the parallel between him and Remus.
And the recall of what Sirius might have felt, and that great closure: sparkling.
Eleni.Hoax chapter 33 . 2/8/2014
THis. This was such the highlight. This chapter, and Peter, and Eris's storytelling without letting Potter hear is brilliant.

And Dumbledore's line. Pure silver coming out of fictional mouth, and all totally him.

I had wanted Eris to be dismissed because I figured that'd be a sentence worth saying in private between the Headmaster and Potter, but I can see why you did it. Needing Eris to stay and all.
This was an amazing chapter, seriously, no wonder you're so good with a psychologist for a mother. Helps to get your head wrapped around the characters I imagine. And wrapped you have.
Eleni.Hoax chapter 32 . 2/8/2014
Haha, "not that I'm going to tell him I'm jealous."

Oh my gosh... the description of Peter. My heart beat harder; it was that perfect. How he's only James's leg-up, that secrets are shared only because James shares with all four, and how he's James's tool to be a head above the others. .. Seriously, you have this down packed.

Haha, Sirius almost letting their practice slip. I'm glad that was in there, it needed to be at least once, and better when they're young!

Ahahaha, James getting so mad at Black's stubbornness and not taking action and not knowing how to ask a bloody girl out. That was so funny. :D
Eleni.Hoax chapter 31 . 2/8/2014
I love how Sirius got into his playboy charms. That was quite the highlight development. It's great. A real twist on things. And the fact that they had an encounter with Severus but had to put him right, it shows they aren't always leaving him, strategizing about how much to do before getting caught. Nicely done.

Haha, the star Quidditch player line was great. Fuel Sev's hatred from the early years. When he said to avoid his face for its fortune, it was my favorite. :)

I wish you would keep writing! It seems it's been a while. 7 months in fact!
Eleni.Hoax chapter 29 . 1/26/2014
That was such an excellently written chapter. Seriously, I LOOOOOVVE the inner thoughts you have for James involving Lily and Kaise. It's SO true to life! And his whole dominance complex, and seeing the complexity and romantics of Kaise. It's great. Seriously, it's great. I also admire the moments of James's vulnerability and how he will overcompensate for them. Especially when he's showing his "I'm-just-a-twelve-year-old-boy" side.
The dynamics and relationship of the four boys is really great, I love how Peter is always being sat upon by Sirius. _

A few feedback comments though:
Bellatrix was already graduated from Hogwarts before they even got there.
Narcissa was already a 5th year when they entered as firsts.
I understand why you did them that way, but I just wanted to make you aware.
I find it odd that Andromeda would contact Dumbledore... Not all students had the kind of relationship Harry and Lily and James did. Plus wouldn't Sirius be more excited to this key important piece of news from his fleeing cousin?
One other thing that has been bothering me since they became friends, I don't think guys hug as much as you have them doing it. At least the ones I've known don't. More for rarer occasions or after parting for long amounts of time. Especially when they're still so young because they're insecure about their masculinity.

It's a really amazing story, especially on James's part, so please don't feel downtrodden by my comments. I only want to help!
Eleni.Hoax chapter 22 . 1/4/2014
I really want you to know this is a Class A story. The bit about Peter being involved like this is quite brilliant . . . actually getting quite a bit from character. He's a hard write. Yet you're balancing his involvement beautifully. Most people just portray him as the wimp, the coward, but he is an essential piece in making the marauders. And later, a huge game changer.
Plus the things you think of in describing the scenery or characters. It's *so* well thought out, so perfectly planned. I really appreciate the firm grasp you have on the characters, and your ability to describe them.
Eleni.Hoax chapter 16 . 12/22/2013
Ohh, I love the way James thinks of Lily in the beginning of this chapter. Because it's so real and true! Guys do think like that from what I know, at least at that early stage of their years. It was very good! Very well expressed.
Dang, I was so hoping you'd unleash some of Eris's secrets. L-O-V-E the name by the way! I may have to steal that for my future children one day. So cool. (And rather deep from what you've described.)
Eleni.Hoax chapter 14 . 12/11/2013
Awwe, that's sweet. I really like how you had James give Peter his Chocolate Frog Card. Brings out a nicer side of him. 3

Ohhhh, yes! I love this piece! What a good chapter, with their bonding and excitement of Anamagi. I LOVE, love, love when they all recited their comments form McGonagall. That was pristine and perfect, and it applied to each of their characters directly. Woot woot!
And I happen to like Professor Spriteworth, i think he's a good fellow. I'm looking forward to seeing more of him. It doesn't annoy me at all!
Eleni.Hoax chapter 12 . 12/11/2013
Ooh, this was good. His description of cuts and gashes grossed me out a little bit. Which means it was *really* good! Poor, sad Remus.. I would imagine he'd be terrified of James (or anyone) finding out. Poor bloke... I love him though. Remus has always been one of my favorite characters. You're doing pretty swell!
Eleni.Hoax chapter 13 . 12/11/2013
Oh that was great! Haha, but Ravenclaw can't score twenty-four points... Quidditch points only go in variables of ten. I like the little bit at the end where Madame Pomfrey said she was glad Remus had a friend. Although I sincerely doubt James would ever tell anyone where he'd been, especially to an authority figure. Perhaps if you ever edit you may consider her just *knowing* he had been there, since she's looked right at him.
Eleni.Hoax chapter 11 . 12/10/2013
I like James's guilt complex, about knowing he lost the majority of house points. He cares. Even about something not involving popularity, or girls, or Evans. He still cares. That's wonderful to see and not as common in a fanfic. Most of the focus tends to be on the romance fling of it or the bigheaded pig he is, snogging up everyone and making profoundly rude jokes.

Ohh, love that Snivellus has a one-up on Potter now that potions has come into play. This will be quite interesting.
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