|Reviews for Reborn|
| Divine0Flame chapter 2 . 10/17
Mistborn are supposed to be a thing of myth. The fact that thy just accepted it is wrong. by your own chronology, this takes place 1000 after the Final Ascension, and mistborn are gone by 300 PA (post ascension). The existence of a mistborn should come as more of a shock, and met with much denial. Otherwise pretty good. The combat could be reworked to include more descriptive and elaborate scenes. It also seems that pewter is burning much to fast. A few vials is enough for VIn to pewter drag for about three hours, and both Sev and Dekard depleted their reserves in the course of, what I am assuming, a 15-20 minute fight. I know that this is a fan-fiction, but I am also a perfectionist. Regardless, I shall keep reading.
P.S. I apologize if I came off condescending, discussed, or dismissive, I am just attempting to provide some constructive criticism.
| Knight's Queen chapter 5 . 6/24/2012
This is by far the best chapter... I loved all the new character development as well as the introduction the Edith Avain and Edvan... I have the feeling I am going to like them...do I sense a romantic triabgle between Ai Dek and Avain? *quirks brow*
| Knight's Queen chapter 4 . 4/9/2012
What is it about her that makes me feel comfortable and guilty all at the same time?" UHM you LOVE HER that's why...
GREAT CHAPTER! Very action packed and those are difficult to write and you did it amazing especially for someone like me who is not familiar with the stories.. very well written... and WOW I felt the emoitions Dek had when he found out about his mum...
| Dastante chapter 3 . 4/3/2012
I love the story so far please continue to update.
| SamEverybody chapter 3 . 3/30/2012
I am enjoying this thoroughly, hope the author continues on this and continues to produce works of this quality.
I honestly would not be surprised if the second Mistborn trilogy started off with these character, in these events.
| Knight's Queen chapter 3 . 3/25/2012
Ok so THANKS for making me cry straight off the bat... how horried for Cam no wonder he is so full of bitterness... *points to face "see this face.. its a sad face"* He needs a good woman *winks*
Terrin's discription was spot on to how you see her.. well done!
I really enjoyed the beginning.. the little window into why Cam is how he is... the interaction in the chapter was well defined and flowed well. I am hoping to learn more about Sev and Terrin...
and of course I adore Ai... yes I have an Ai "crush" she and Dex are awesome together and she is going to help him discover the best part of himself...
great writing keep it up...
| SomthingMachine chapter 2 . 3/20/2012
Ok, so if you have read chapter two before I write this then I want you to know that all the references to cadmium in chapter 2 were supposed to be chromium. I've fixed the problem now, but it may make more sense to you now that you know the correct metal.
| Knight's Queen chapter 2 . 3/14/2012
Ok- I just have to say it AGAIN.. I adore Ai and Dek .. and WOW I was NOT expecting that development in Dek. The struggle he is having within himself is truly amazing you are protraying it perfectly. I can feel how his entire world has been turned upside and his resistance to accept what is happening is a natural struggle..which you bring out so well in his character. What can I say about Ai except she is just amazing... One of my favorite things about her is her inner belief and strength complimented by her gentle belief that there is good in the world.
The fight scene between Sev and Dek was really well written ..as we talked about those are the most difficuly to achieve and YOU DID IT... well done...
| Gargoyle13 chapter 1 . 2/25/2012
I'll confess that I have no familiarity with this fandom so who was from the books, who you created, I have no idea. That said, it was a well-crafted and intriguing story. I appreciated the insights into what the differences were with the character backgrounds - the Allomancers and Feruchemists and Hazekillers - and that you wove it in as part of one of the character reflections on the situation he finds himself in. A great showing overall.
| Knight's Queen chapter 1 . 2/21/2012
Brilliant story line.. so visual... so intense
Love Ai... and Dek... amd yes... the under lining chemestry they have together...
LOVE THIS LINE "In that instant of teetering on the edge of consciousness "
AHHH Love the ending... what a cliff hanger...
Truly amazing chapter, I was at the edge of my seat..great reading! Not bad for your first posting my friend!
I am impressed but NOT surprised...