Reviews for Harry Potter The Veil of Time
Guest chapter 6 . 8/18/2013
Nice...very nice!
bill560682 chapter 15 . 6/10/2013
now if i were the weasley twins i would be trying to make as many contacts at these other schools as i could. finding out from these student who the pranksters at their schools are will triple your sales of prank items. an if i was the twins i would have made some kind of cheer candy for the world cup and sold it to everybody. the cheer candy when slipped into someones food or drink would only allow them to cheer for whichever team the candy was set for, such as krum's fans would buy the ones based on krum and slip them into irish fans food or drinks and thereby for the next 5 hours every time the person opened their mouth to speak they ended up cheering for krum. that idea would have made the twins a ton of money at the world cup as well as tons more from quittich fans around the world for years to come. making 10,000 galleons at the world cup would have been easy since people would be buying these 10, 20, 50 at a time with the plan to drug the other teams fans. you figure the twins got to the camp ground at about 9 a.m. an the game would not start till about 9 p.m. so they would have 12 hours to sell cheer candy's so that is less then 1,000 an hour total and if we add in lee jordan that is 3 sellers so they need to sell less then 300 an hour each, an since they are selling 10, 20, 50 at a time to one person 300 an hour is easy. you could also use this same idea for the tournament of selling them to hogwarts students to drug the other schools so they all cheer for hogwarts. an if you start selling these cheer candies to quittich fans around the world by owl order you would pull in a million galleons a year easy since the fans will need them for every single game to drug the other teams fans.

the only thing i ask is i get credit for the cheer candies since i have never seen them used in fan fic before.
bill560682 chapter 14 . 6/10/2013
now since harry did live threw the killing curse i would think he would look into it. now the way i see the killing curse working is hate pumps up it's power level of your spell to match your max normal max level. an since all wizards are more or less the same level the killing curse is able to eat up your magic and you die from lack of magic. now how harry lived threw the killing curse is simple voldimorte can draw magic from his followers threw the dark mark and harry was marked as he equal so harry has tommy boys magic level plus what ever tom can pull from his followers and thereby his total power level was to great for voldimorte to overcome. the only problem with this idea is no one who would fit as being powerful enough to survive a killing curse from a very weak wizard is willing to test it.

i would think things like pain curses would work along the same line but on the mind tricking the mind into thinking it is in pain. if pain curses in fact lit up every nerve ending in your body to the max you would pass out from overload so the pain curses would have to be programmed to figure out how much pain you could take without passing out and only trick the brain into thinking it is being hit with that amount, because anyone hitting you with a pain curse would hate to have to stop every 10 seconds to wake you back up. so of course anyone with mind shields would be hit by the curse with more power to overcome those shields because of course the desire to see someone in pain would boost the power of the curse. hence the reason snape who has mind shields still ends up in pain when hit by such a curse.

now as far as harry slacking off in class you have already covered in the fact he gets a free pass this year as a result of the tournament. you can not have the people in such a tournament worried about school tests.
bill560682 chapter 13 . 6/10/2013
now harry would be in love with ginny but the reason is why? as was told in cannon molly used love potion to get a husband and even told ginny about it so is that the reason harry is in love with ginny or was it simply he did end up falling for her on his own, the world may never know. was it true love or love potion done by molly or ginny or both?
bill560682 chapter 3 . 6/9/2013
one thing i do not like about most harry potter stories is they never have sirius make mention of his time on the run? he is a wizard so he would have no problem changing his looks so he looked like a 60 year old asian woman or 50 year old white man or a 12 year old black female with warning charms placed on the floo and the front door of his family home to let him know when someone shows up he could spend 90% of his time on the run in fact having fun. an whenever the warning charms go off that someone has showed up he just pops back home to his room upstairs and no one knows the difference.
bill560682 chapter 2 . 6/9/2013
in the 100 days show they found

nanites that controlled aging

would they not be able to give

these to thor and the controller

for it so they could have each

clone live to say a million years

old. that way they could live long

enough to fix the problem with

the cloning? they could then take

any of their people in storage out

and have 10 times if not 100 times

more people and thereby ships to

fight the bugs? also they could

likely spare some people to keep

a closer eye on the snakes as well.

an yes i know they needed to die

so they could give everything they

were in the form of the super ship

to the sgc to fight the ori, but if

there is no vala then there is no

ori to worry about. an the only

reason vala was brought into the

show other then to be mother to

the orisi was to be the one to get

the blame for touching things she

should not. daniel can only do

that so many times before jack

would shoot him in the head or

the general would ground him

from all off world missions.

personally i think it would have

happened by end of season 2 or

end of season 3 at the latest. i

think thore's people need to take

a page from carters play book

and start blowing up suns, if they

can figure out a way to take a sun

from normal to boom in say 1.3

seconds you send in a remote

controlled cargo ship in near the

sun and then drive it right into it.

1.3 seconds later no more

replacators in that solar system.

an yes i know that would wipe out

the ida gallaxy but the

replacators are already doing

that anyway.

as to the show were the tokra are

going to poison the system lords i

think it would be better if the

poison were slow acting and was

airborn as it's form of transfer

from snakehead to snakehead

with a lifespan of 2 years from the

first use. this way every system

lord ends up infecting their

troops and at the end of the 2

years the virus attacks the

snakeheads everywhere killing

them then dies off. if you only

attack the system lords

themselves you are only taking

them out then minor system lords

take their place an even if you

take out all the system lords the

baby snakeheads in the jaffa will

grow up into adult snakeheads

sooner or later so you are only

slowing them down for a

moment. this way everyone of

them are dead an all you need to

do is go planet to planet

collecting the children who have

no baby snakehead in them yet

and have thore's people change

their D.N.A. so they never end up

needing a baby snakehead.

in the show were daniel tells

catherin her long lost boyfriend

may still be alive and the general

chews him out for it i think daniel

should bitch slap him and remind

him who in fact owns the stargate

namely catherin. catherin in the

movie was running the program

not the goverment. so she could

walk in at any time and order the

general to pack up everything.

as far as the ori go the ancients

should have more powerful ships

then them. the reason being what

the ori 'gods' know is limited. if it

was not then they would have

attacked the milky way and ida

gallaxies years ago, until stupid

vala and daniel showed up in the

ori home gallaxy they had no clue

there was other life out there.

which means as far as tech goes

they stopped building better stuff

once they all ascended which

likely happened shortly after the

first ones showed their 'super

god' powers to the rest. so as long

as you keep the fight out of the ori

gallaxy were the ascended ori can

strengthen their troops you can

beat them every time. you figure

the ori ascended 1 million years

ago maybe even as long as 5

million years ago so that is a long

time to come up with new tech.

an when ever you run into a

system lord do not stop to talk

and NEVER shoot his guards first

ALWAYS put a bullet right into the

system lord's head then put 10

more. then kill his guards, then

toss his body into the nearest sun.
bill560682 chapter 1 . 6/9/2013
now personally not a big fan of time travel fics. because they try to drag out the story by having harry stay with cannon timeline. i think it would be better to have harry take out the horcluxes before even first year and get sirius free before then as well. then as a result harry can have 7 happy years at hogwarts or in this stories case you can move him to america so he can meet jack or sam an if he meets jacks son he could end up saving him from getting a bullet to the head. you could have harry be doing yard work or something at jacks house an he comes upon charley with jacks gun just before charley shoots himself.
A W chapter 15 . 6/8/2013
Obscenely slow paced, and never actually gets to the cross-over part. Most decent writers do the set up (prologue) in the first chapter, two at a maximum, I don't even want to try and count how many you used. Even though you listed it as a crossover, it is just a sub-par time travel fic.
kjkh chapter 15 . 3/15/2013
great story, please continue
inuxnaruto specialist chapter 6 . 2/25/2013
Your story is very well written. I enjoy your imagery, it is very well thought out and in depth.
fraewyn chapter 15 . 1/6/2013
Awesome!
Can't wait for more!
falseproffitt chapter 14 . 11/5/2012
really
your story makes no since at all
The Eye of Re chapter 8 . 10/21/2012
Harry is amazingly complacent when it comes to his own skills. So, he beat Voldemort through luck and was a middling sixth year student, and he thinks this means he doesn't need to develop his magical skills?

I hope this timeline's Voldemort crushes him.
RoughIslandSunrise chapter 15 . 10/7/2012
Intresting... cant wait to see what happens next
RoughIslandSunrise chapter 5 . 10/6/2012
:-)
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