|Reviews for Loyalty|
| FFWrite chapter 2 . 6/14/2014
Again nice fanfic u dun know how much I like reading ur fanfics
But still sum spelling error and grammar hope u can change it :)-writingfanfictions
| FFWrite chapter 1 . 6/14/2014
Nice story but it's Damien not Damian yeah it's because I play
GMS maybe it's different or sum shit idk LOL nice story :D
| Pekiunai chapter 2 . 12/29/2013
Shut up anon, ever heard of FANFICTION? And I'm fishing you out of Mainstream River, you don't deserve to be there. I used to be like you... Until I became MORE OPEN! Cry by yourself in a dark room with lots of weapons surrounding you ready to kill you if Demon Slayer/Valfor x Masteema is official.
whoever the heck is asking about Masteema being a guy (sorry if I forgot your name. I'm not the best in memory): Masteema is a guy if Demon Slayer is a girl (yes there is a trailer about Demon Slayer being a girl. Look up Spadow's youtube account). Masteema is a girl if Demon Slayer is a guy.
Don't listen to people like that damn anon. I liked your story... actually, LOVE IT! Darn it now I love Damian even more (why nexon WHY?! WHY DO ALL THAT STUFF TO POOR DAMIAN?!). That scene with him and Masteema was super cute!
Oh Rhinne... that scene with her and the Resistance crew... *is still laughing* but super sweet after they were done chasing a certain cat around.
P.S. Not trying to be mean but please fix your grammar. Do that and your stories will be wonderful! And also clarifying about some parts. Explain the scenes where people can get easily lost. If you never played so far as Demon Slayer (or never got that far into the story) I understand. It's been a long time since I played MapleStory (damn computer).
P.P.S. I don't mind about Akarium being a jerkass. He technically is. In a story I'm making, he murdered one of my OC's parents.
| Coryui chapter 2 . 10/25/2013
Oww i loved this XD Well i dont love mastema x Valfor, But i really REALLY LOVE "Valfor" as the name of the Demon Slayer
Goood fic 3
| Salmya chapter 2 . 4/10/2013
I love this story! and I love the fact that you use the name Valfor for Demon Slayer
Its stories like this one that gives me goosebumps... its alot of emotions (for being Demon Slayer :P) and I think you've made a great job writing this story without the emotions getting out of hand.
I just wish you would write more stories with Valfor (3) and Mastema!
| Quest chapter 2 . 3/17/2013
Nice story please continue :)
| AladdinIRL chapter 2 . 8/19/2012
I thought Mastema was a guy...
| Guest chapter 2 . 7/20/2012
| Guest chapter 2 . 7/19/2012
| Randomness chapter 1 . 7/15/2012
Sounds like an interesting couple.
| Teddypro chapter 2 . 7/15/2012
Aw, that's it. I was hoping for one more chapter. After all, you can't have past and present without future! But either way this is a nice, little fanfiction. One with a couple of grammatical errors but nothing you can't fix.
| Teddypro chapter 1 . 6/4/2012
Very good story, but get the second part out soon. It is a two-shot and I don't like to be left hanging!
| Kittiled chapter 1 . 3/25/2012
You shouldn't be speaking. I see plenty of grammar errors your pathetic little review.
'Your story suck'
It should be -Your story sucks- or -Your stories suck- You need to make your verb(s) agree with the subject(s).
'You made a lot of grammar mistakes'
I believe the most precise way is -You HAVE made a lot...-
The proper definition of 'lame' is 'unable to walk properly.' You're using the informal definition; unoriginal could be better.
Your third sentence is a run-on. Split it into two sentences or add a semi-colon so you won't sound like an idiot. Also, it's -who the hall is...- not 'who's the hell is...'
And aren't you smart? No one can delete fanfiction accounts.
And who's everyone? I don't think Demon Slayer should be with Mercedes. Don't speak for the public if you haven't asked for their opinion. It's sad that after one picture of them together, everyone jumped on the shipping bandwagon without even taking a note about their own personalities and how well they pair up. And who's Mastema? Okay, now I know who are the biggest fail troll I have ever seen. If you don't know who Mastema is, then I'm more than positive that you haven't even played as Demon Slayer.
Now, please will you do all of us a favor and never review again?
-End of rant-
Don't let trolls ever get to you. Luckily, fanfiction doesn't have the worse ones yet.
I've gotta say, after these past few months of lowkey following your stories, I'm really impressed with your progress. You are making a few mistakes here and there, but whoever says that you are a bad writer is a complete dumb ss.
Keep writing. I have no doubt that you'd be a great writer someday.
| Molly Trollop chapter 1 . 2/28/2012
I've read some of your other stories as well, but I thought I'd leave a review here that pretty much sums up what I think about your stories in general.
You have good ideas, but I think the way you deliver them could be improved more. Oftentimes, I feel like I'm reading a string of broken scenes when they could be integrated more smoothly. That's really my main constructive feedback.
And, as many people pointed out, your grammar could be improved. I know English is not your first language, but I think it's unhelpful to use that as an excuse for why your writing is lacking in some areas. Next time, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement (e.g. "my wings WERE badly torn up..."). If you need someone to proofread (or 'betaread' as it's called here), I'd be happy to help.
| User No Longer Available chapter 1 . 2/25/2012
To the douchebag who left an anon review:
What gives you the right to say that her story sucks or not? English isn't even her first language and she still writes better than some other authors on this site. And who cares if Demon Slayer is paired with Mercedes.. this is FANfiction, not canon. She's allowed to write whatever pairing she likes. And y'know what, I don't see YOU writing any stories, huh? All you can do is leave an unsigned review flaming someone for something you just don't agree with. Next time, if you have nothing nice to say, just don't say anything at all.