|Reviews for Incarnís|
| Peregrin Took the Falcon chapter 9 . 5/11
That's a shame, I was looking forward to the next chapter. I hope you get your inspiration back!
| Peregrin Took the Falcon chapter 7 . 5/11
I'm honestly surprised my grin didn't split my face open. It's a pity there won't be more crack like this; you do a great job at it.
| Peregrin Took the Falcon chapter 6 . 5/11
Poor Obi-Wan, and poor Dooku too. He really seems to care a little in this story, and that's nice because I like Dooku. He really deserved better.
| Peregrin Took the Falcon chapter 5 . 5/11
Where can I get a stick like Master Yaddle's? That seems incredibly useful... Anakin had the right idea, though. I would probably have done the exact same thing in his position.
| Peregrin Took the Falcon chapter 4 . 5/11
"Little green troll" was priceless! Also Sidious's insistence that he can never make mistakes, just...miscalcuations, right, miscalculations every now and then.
| Peregrin Took the Falcon chapter 3 . 5/11
This doesn't look like it's going to end well at all...but your description of Sith lightning is wonderful, even though I feel sorry for poor Obi-Wan.
| ErinKenobi2893 chapter 7 . 3/25
That was too funny! *dies of laughter* *curls up and howls* *drags Steve Rogers over to read this story and he ends up laughing too...* YES! *pumps fist in the air* I made the Captain laugh! Twentythousandmillionth points for me! I WIN! X-P
| ErinKenobi2893 chapter 4 . 3/25
Did I mention I love this story and everything about it? So often, this concept (dark or almost-dark Obi-Wan) is poorly handled...
| ErinKenobi2893 chapter 9 . 3/25
There are some good clean Avengers fics. I write under the name "AnotherBook" along with my dear friend Iris. I also write for Star Wars... ;-)
| thats-a-moray chapter 2 . 12/4/2013
The way you introduce Pademe not listening is slightly awkward because, in the previous paragraph, you make it sound as though she was listening to every word he said. But now you say that she "hadn't been paying much attention to him," which seems to contradict the previous statement. If instead you said "He suddenly noticed that Pademe wasn't paying attention to him" or something like that, it would make more sense. Then it would seem like Ani was simply so rapt up in telling his story that he didn't notice Pademe seemed distracted until he was almost at the end.
I also noticed that Pademe said "the queen," but by this point in Phantom Ani should know that Pademe is the queen. She announced it in front of everyone when they were meeting the Gungans.
"And Obi-wan was so cute!" This seems like an awfully shallow thing for Pademe to think at this moment. I understand that she's in shock, but it still feels out of place. Also, I think a piece of Captain Panaka's dialogue is missing?
I loved the way Obi-wan turned on Maul at the end. That was definitely not the kind of thing a Jedi would do, to kill an opponent before they had time to defend themselves. It shows that he's slipping into the dark side. I also liked how Maul kept calling Obi-wan "kund" and "weakling" in his mind. I think Maul might have fallen too easily, but I suppose that can be explained by his arrogance. He believed Obi-wan was weak and so he paid no attention to what he was doing while he dragged him. This story is taking an interesting turn. :)
| thats-a-moray chapter 1 . 12/2/2013
Wow, now this is a surprising AU! I was not expecting Obi-Wan to be taken prisoner by Maul. One thing that confused me was when you said that Maul "fell." When I first read this, I presumed it had happened exactly as it did in the film, with Maul being cut in half. But Maul re-appears a few seconds later to knock Obi-Wan out. I know it might be hard to work in, might not even be worth it, but I'm curious to know how their battle differed.
Obi-Wan's final moments with Qui-Gon were very emotional. I loved the way you described Qui-Gon's Force fading away. I liked how at the moment of Qui-Gon's death all Obi-Wan could feel was emptiness. I also liked Obi-Wan's inner conflict as he contemplates vengeance and finally gives into his anger. It goes against his Jedi training, but he's still young and has just experienced a very traumatic event, so it's understandable that he would have a miss-step. I do hope that he comes back to the light side of the Force eventually. I wonder if this miss-step will have an effect on Anakin's training...
The conversation between Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon was very interesting, too. It sounds as if they have some kind of history that wasn't expanded upon in the movies. I'm not sure if this history references something from the novels or if its your own headcanon. Either way, I hope you get into it later. :)
| Nostalgic-Reegar chapter 2 . 11/5/2013
Well, that was a surprise death. I thought he'd be sticking around for a while.
The subtlety of Anakin briefly mistaking Obi-Wan for Qui-Gon's son was a poignant touch. :)
| Nostalgic-Reegar chapter 1 . 11/5/2013
Obi-Wan's being pretty hard on himself here.
Your writing style, thus far, is straight-forward and smooth. Good job. I'll get to reading the following chapters.
| Mireilles3 chapter 9 . 12/27/2012
nOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! That's not true! That's impossible! In that case, might I suggest you remove the story, or mark it as on hiatus (in its summary) to spare our frustration to any curious lurker who will stumble on this great-sounding fic, only to be left hanging forever...? I mean, what you are announcing is not a long delay till the next post but a possible complete abandon of this fic...
And please, do stick with this fic, don't trust the TV series or anything else drag you down and just follow your heart and where it wants to go with your vision of this fic, please!
| Saoirse7 chapter 9 . 12/21/2012
Wait, you're not continuing? That's a shame. Hopefully you'll come back to it, though I know how it feels... Anyway, this chapter was good. I like Obi-Wan's flashback and his thoughts about the situation.