|Reviews for Trouble|
| audiblyausten chapter 1 . 5/29/2013
How I love Harold. :3 he's so sweet to Marian! And "Trouble" is one of my favorite music man songs. :)
| ForeverJulie chapter 1 . 3/12/2012
I have to agree with Morfiwien Greenleaf. Your story was a fun read, but a little unbelievable in terms of the dialogue. Also, the women of River City would be much more likely to hurt Marian emotionally rather than physically. At the end, I had hoped you would maybe lengthen the story, maybe Harold uses Marian's injury to milk out more time with her. Then eventually he manages to kiss her. I don't think Marian would allow it so easily
| Marianne Greenleaf chapter 1 . 2/23/2012
While I see the "hurt/comfort" premise you are attempting to set up here, it is inconceivable that Mrs. Shinn and her ladies would gang up on and actually assault Marian - women of their social standing would never have engaged in outright physical violence. Their mode of operation would be far more passive aggressive - shunning and gossip and clucking noisily about how "shameful" the librarian was is as far as they would go.
And in those days, even the innocuous "darn" was considered a swear; the well-bred and prim Marian Paroo would not call the ladies bitches even in her own mind, and she certainly wouldn't call Professor Hill a bastard to his face. Some of your other phrasing also rings just a bit too modern, such as Marian thinking "this guy isn't as dense" instead of "this fellow," etc.
If you are planning to write additional stories set in this period, I would suggest reading Victorian/Edwardian historical fiction and/or works written by authors who lived in the era (for example, L.M Montgomery's Anne of Green Gables series), in order to get a flavor of the customs and social mores of the times, as well as a feel for the way people spoke.