|Reviews for a second chance|
| K5Rakitan chapter 3 . 4/19/2012
There is a lot of potential here. I think that you can improve it by adding more descriptions of what the characters are doing in-between the dialog. It also helps to set the scene at the beginning of each chapter by describing where they are and what the characters are seeing. Keep on writing! I think you are going places with this :)
| Baconbaconbaconbaconbacon chapter 3 . 3/3/2012
DUDE, THIS SHIT'S SEXY.