|Reviews for One Man Army|
| Whatyahlookingat chapter 9 . 12/20/2013
this was awesome! Good job.
| Anonymous chapter 3 . 3/27/2013
Some choppy sentences, otherwise, pretty good. Also, WIll's first year as apprentice was when he was 16, as Choosing Day is for those who have turned 16... so yeah. I hate factual mistakes...
| whothefudgeisstarlord chapter 3 . 12/10/2012
It's 'One Riot, One Ranger'n by the way. :D This is pretty good apart rom a few spelling mistakes! A couple of other things-
i) Duncan doesn't have a son.
ii) Horace would most likely be the king by now, if Will and Alyss have a fifteen year old son. It would have to be at least 16 years after the Lost Stories, where Duncan is almost 50. He would most likely have retired at his old age.
iii) Redmont is not the capital fief or whateeer you call it, so the king would not be situated there. So unless you were going to take the main characters from Redmont and make them constantly visit Araluen Fief which is about two or three days horse ride away, you need to give a reason for the King to be in Redmont.
And a question now -
In the Lost Stories, Will believes that Jenny and Gilan will be the next ones married. If that were so, sixteen years would have past and they would probably have married and had cildren. So far there has been no reference to Jenny at all. She would be pretty important as Alyss' best friend, Gilans love and she was like a sister to Horace and Will so she would at least be there to try and comfort Horace after losing several of his friends and possibly his children.
I'm sorry for all that constructiv-ness. I apologise if some of that comes out a bit meanly, but I really am just trying to help you improve your story. :)
All in all though, this is a really good story, despite the minor problems. The plot is good and it's pretty well written. I like the changes in POV, but they can be a little bit confusing at times.
| ProcrastinationIsMyCrime chapter 9 . 11/4/2012
| flaminglake chapter 8 . 9/2/2012
Wow, this is really cool! I'm sorry it took me so long to read it. I just love the hard choices and the killing and the fights and stuff. I think you improved over the course of the story. You should definitely do a sequel and the only thing that bothered me that I can remember now is that your said the old legend was 'one rally, one ranger', I believe that should be 'one riot, one ranger.' Anyway, really good job, I should have read it sooner.
| ariel chapter 8 . 9/2/2012
a little fast paced, but still interesting.
| Kai-Jay Night chapter 8 . 9/1/2012
Loved it! Sequel Plz!
| blueeyedhotty chapter 8 . 9/1/2012
No I didn't like it or hate it I LOVE IT! Sequel Please.
| Owltalon chapter 6 . 8/12/2012
ooh poor Derrick! I can't wait for him to defeat the enemy and save everyone! :)
so glad he got his memory back too! :)
Please update soon!
| blake chapter 5 . 7/30/2012
u got to finish the story it is awesome so far. please finish wanna see what happens
| Owltalon chapter 5 . 7/25/2012
ooh! great chapter!
I really loved the flashback! The way Derrick and Melody met was very sweet and cute! :)
Can't wait for an update! :)
| Featherstone180 chapter 4 . 6/6/2012
I loved your story keep at it!
| Owltalon chapter 4 . 6/2/2012
please update soon!
oh no! poor Derrick! hope the Rangers come up with some great plan real soon! or even Derrick does..
please update soon! :)
| Owltalon chapter 3 . 5/5/2012
Ooh I hope Derrick can save them all! Please update soon! :)
| SammyDanni chapter 2 . 4/24/2012
I love rangers and Derrik i will get annoyed if you read this and don't wright the next 2 chapters by 1-may-12 you imaginary hioopgryph may go missing (learn wisely my friend lean wisely)