|Reviews for hated|
| excellente chapter 2 . 5/5/2013
| Sir Buttsly chapter 2 . 6/20/2012
I DEMAND MOAR
| thesalmonskin chapter 2 . 2/27/2012
Good second chapter, although you're consistantly misspelling horizon as 'horizine'. Wasn't sure if you caught that in chapter one. Good job fixing your capitalization. Also, you're kind of blocking your text together. To make it a bit easier on the eyes (and you should always do this when you're writing), hit Enter to start a new line whenever a new character starts talking. For example:
"Eric!" James yelled as I snapped back to reality.
"What?", I said, snapping my head to look at him.
| thesalmonskin chapter 1 . 2/25/2012
So, you reviewed mine, I review yours.
First off: When a character starts talking, capitalize the first letter in their sentence. When Eric stated talking, 'aw' was not capitalized. Also when he talked about ArkSec withholding his food ration, that might have been better expressed as a thought, using italics. There was also little description on the Container City. Try to paint a picture with your words; what color are the containers? Are there any distinguishing features to Eric's or James' homes? The ID badge scene and James coming to the door would be perfect opportunities to tell us what they look like.
On apostrophe usage you're looking quite good. The only one I caught was that you put an apostrophe-s after Founder each time you used it and that is incorrect. Since you're referring to the Founders as a whole, you don't use an apostrophe.
Otherwise it looks alright so far. I'm interested to see your angle in this story.