Two words:

Never stop.

honestly its good. there are alot of different places you can go with this story and im eager to read it. keep up the good work.

I like where this is going.

Shadowmere is a particularly strong character for having no speaking role. I think it would be worth emphasizing his feelings and character in later chapters. I could see him having an interesting antagonistic relationship with Alduin, especially if he becomes jealous of all the attention that Freyja is paying to the not-so-dragony-dragon. I also think Shadowmere deserves a sweetroll.

Freyja is well rounded for an OC, and her awkwardness and like of creature comforts mixed with a touch of bloodlust gives her character.

I assume Alduin is going to be shoutless for a while until he can speak better. That's probably a good thing because I doubt he would cooperate at all if he thinks he has any power. This sets up for the conflict between him and Freyja when he can start shouting once again. He will probably need a lesson on why it isn't good to run off by himself which brings me to...

...FYI, children who have been raised by animals (or in this case were animals to begin with) do not like clothes. Usually they attempt to strip them off whenever they can because the foreign sensation on their skin bothers them. I imagine the hold guards might consider a little jail time an appropriate response for violation of common decency should Alduin attempt to be a little more 'natural' than he ought to as a human.

I do hope some hold guards appear at some point. They are all comedic gold.

The dragon's eyelashes line is making for an excellent running gag.

Also there needs to be more mead. Lots more mead.

Wow this is really good! i can't wait till the next chapter!

Let me start of by saying WOW, what an amazing idea for a story.

Second, you are very good at descriptions. Your words create a wonderful mental picture, and I love the way you described Shadowmere as well as Alduin.

My only vice would be the surplus of run-on sentences. Your descriptions are lovely, but consider working on the grammatical aspect of your story. I noticed a few spelling errors as well. Good grammar is /extremely/ important.

That being said, I'm going to keep up with this story and look forward to your next update!

Wow. First of all, let me say a few things...

I normally really dislike the firs person view in writing. I think sometimes it comes off as childish sounding, so I generally try to avoid it. As I started reading, I almost stopped, simply because the writing viewpoint isn't my viewpoint o' choice. But... As I considered it, your words of choice, style elsewhere, and descriptions kept me reading. I wanted to stop but really couldn't, so good job there!

Your descriptions are truly beautiful. You have a gift for creating an image in one's mind. That gift is often hard to find, but you've got it.

I enjoy your subtle humor. I was a bit worried when the story was partially categorized as humor, but you're using it very well. It's not over the top, and is very suiting for your character.

The plot line is incredible. Who would've thought? Super unique... Different is wonderful.

It's small, but one thing in particular that really stood out to me was in chapter one when you were describing Shadowmere. Comparing him to the horseman and putting the horseman to shame was a brilliant way to get your point across.

A few criticisms though. Constructive, of course. Grammar is important, and you definitely have a better grasp of it than a lot of the authors I've seen here. When I write my story, Dragonsong, I'm as careful as I can be about grammar. Poor grammar really detracts from a story. Yours certainly isn't poor, but you seem to have a bit of a recurring problem with run-on sentences. It makes the reader lose their grasp of how the sentence began or what it really contained. So shorten up some of those sentences- long, beautifully descriptive ones are good, but not for /every/ sentence. Just keep that in mind.

A few world errors here as well. When writing a fanfiction, you're going to want to make sure everything such as places and people that already exist within the game/movie/book world are correct. So you'll want to know it's "Forsworn" rather than "Foresworn," and "Karthspire" rather than "Kathspire" (that could have been a typo for all I know, though). There was another, but it's slipping my mind.

All in all, this is wonderful. I know long and detailed reviews are the most useful, so I tried. I'll be following the story for now, looking forward to an update, and I hope I'll be able to help you along the way! Feel free to PM me if you have any questions about what I've said- I'm very excited to see you work to utilize this story's full potential.

Great work so far,

~Knotted

I laughed so much! It's getting better and better. :D

PLEASE UPDATE SOON. This is so great!

Good story, update soon.

I always wondered what would happen if Alduin was made human. I'm loving this, please continue!

(grins) This is going to go far.

Here's your chance of redemption, Alduin. You'll mess it, at first, I would think. But who knows what the future brings...

Very interesting story idea. I'll keep following this :D

O Boy, your idea is AWESOME. Completely blew my mind. A good read as well, seems fluent with well pacing. Keep it up, I am looking forward to the third chapter.

All I can say is make more! It's a really interesting idea you've got here, so keep going.

Oooft. Much love for this story. I do hope you continue it for the addiction of many readers. The imagery is spectacular! So much potential for an excellent story!