|Reviews for Heirs of an Empire|
| Aster Stark chapter 4 . 7/27/2012
y u so sucky luke? u a jedi, k?
| Mireilles3 chapter 11 . 5/24/2012
Well, the Luke parts are rather interesting, but I can't say I care much about politics...
I'm curious to see if the plan will work, though.
More Luke and Leia, please?
| I love dance chapter 11 . 4/16/2012
Still enjoying this story, especially the parts focused on Luke, Han, and Leia. Keep up the great work! :)
| dark kronus chapter 11 . 4/16/2012
your chapter: i jedi seems to be from your babylon 5 fic you must have added it by accident
| the dude person chapter 1 . 4/9/2012
Hmmm... This seems to be a very interesting story. I liked the reveal of the lightsaber-user at the end of the chapter, it adds a lot of intrigue to it.
My assessment of you as a writer, judging solely by this chapter, is that you have something of a talent for writing, and an interesting writing style. That being said, I think you could probably use an editor or beta reader, as I did see several instances of spelling errors, as well as some minor syntactical errors.
Overall, I think this chapter was a fairly well-written introduction to this story. However, there are great writers out there who just need an editor, and I think you could be one of them. I'd be happy to point out your mistakes, if you'd like me to. (Like writing "Both" instead of "Bothan" toward the end, etc.)
I also noticed other things that could be improved upon. At one point, for example, you use "the Imperial" many times within a single paragraph. After a while, it gets sort of monotonous, and even a little confusing. You might try varying your diction a bit more, and replacing some instances of "Imperial" with something like "Stormtrooper," or even a pronoun.
Anyway, I like this story so far, I'll have to read more of it. Let me know if you'd like a more in-depth analysis of this chapter.
| CC-645 chapter 6 . 4/6/2012
Interesting, quite interesting.
There are not many fics these days that describe combast in an interesting way.
Looking forward to further chapters.
| I love dance chapter 3 . 4/3/2012
Uh oh, I don't know how Luke is going to get out of that mess. This is a really interesting, well-written start. Looking forward to more! :)