|Reviews for All Good Things|
| CliCliW chapter 24 . 6/22/2014
Hey, I'm reviewing again :)
Wake is just so darned unusual, but I still don't trust him. He's baaaaaaaad
I would have enjoyed if this chapter was just that bit longer, so something more happened in it. It felt super duper short, so I'm hoping that the next chapters are that bit longer.
Still enjoying this fiction, so please keep going! :D
| CliCliW chapter 23 . 6/14/2014
Umm, Hi. I started reading this fic last night: 2 chapters before bed and for the rest of the day I've been trying to read it whilst working in a creche. Fun Times but so worth it. I know just how important every single review is for a writer, and it really gives a push and some inspiration to continue. Because I've fallen in love with this fiction and really want to see it continue, I'm leaving some concrit. I'm gonna point out a couple of negative things first, and then work onto the (extremely) positive things, so I don't leave you with a bad taste in your mouth :)
1: Basically, there's a few little things structure-wise that could be improved. They're really small but boost readability waaaaay up imho. Just adding more full stops and commas to break some sentences up a little more, because a good few times I found that there was a sentence that I had to read a good few times to actually get the meaning out of properly, and that really made things more difficult and less flowy to read. It could be as basic as you skimmed instead of fully rereading a chapter before posting, but it makes such a difference. Really if the first complaint I have is about structure/grammar/whatever you call it then you know I don't have something I find overly bad :D
2. Again with flow, it felt like once or twice there was a change in focus, say from Jayden and his antics to the ominous project and the people discussing it without any lead in/break, which really made it a bit tough to keep up with. I would suggest either that fancy line across, or something to that effect, just to say "Umm, this is something completely unrelated to the above".
2 and a half. This is kinda related to the above, but I felt once or twice like I was having trouble keeping up with who was talking when there were a lot of characters involved in the conversation. That's kinda minimal though.
3. Okay, I'll admit I had a problem with Everyone being so cool about Ethan and Norman being a couple. that was only for a little while though, it was more of a minor annoyance than anything really, because I know the story isn't solely focused on the relationship(s), therefore it's not like you should have to spend a whole lot of time with Norman/Ethan dealing with the strife of persecution. I'm ok with it now though, so this is more a point in passing :)
1. Everything about this story is just... Wow! The characterization is awesome, the story is amazing, the mystery is... mysterious. I love it. I love everything about this.
2. I did not see that about Jayden's history coming. It was amazing and I really loved it, amazing.
3. My god that sex scene was steamy and I wasn't expecting that at all! I was on the bus on the way home from work dammit! I'm not sure if I was blushing because it's hot today or because of what I was reading, but I'm going to guess the latter. I just hope no one was paying attention to me :P
4. I love the title of this fic. is it "All Good Things" as in "All good things to those who wait" or "All good things must come to an end". I feel like you put so much thought into it and it's an amazing title, and I can't wait to see which you're planning of doing!
5. "The Project". Really mysterious. I can't wait to read more about it. especially when it seems that the 'perp' at the start of this fic is involved in it somehow. So far it seems like a very very elaborate bid for revenge. I just can't wait.
Anyway, I could ramble on and on and on about how amazing this story is, but I'll only run out of positive words to say and embarrass myself, so I'll stop now. Nice work on this fic, I'm really really really enjoying it, and I hope you don't find my concrit harsh or anything. I'm so excited about this my mac'n'cheese is getting cold, so Im'ma eat that now :P
Looking forward to reading more soon,
| Charlotte chapter 18 . 10/26/2013
Wow I'm so glad you wrote this. I was kind of sad to see such a great game had so little fanfiction but when I find such well written, in character amazing stories like this I am so happy. Thankyou so much for writing this.
Sorry if my English is bad. French reader here!
| JC chapter 18 . 9/12/2013
This is a really good fanfic, written well with realistic characters that are true to the game. Jayden was my favourite character and his ending was kind of left on a cliffhanger so I like the continuation you made for him. His past fits perfectly with him as a person and all the scenes where he's trying to get used to having a family are pretty cute. Interested to see what the future tense chapters mean and how the whole Jayden/Ethan/Madison relationship works out. Glad that Madison is openminded and wasn't simply edited out which is what generally happens whenever a straight couple gets a slash pairing. The threeway relationship is a lot more cool. You deserve to have a lot more reviews for this fanfic but Heavy Rain seems to have a lot less readers than other fandoms. Hope this gets updated soon :)
| CaptainLara chapter 12 . 8/11/2013
Oh my god this is the best Jayden-centric story I've read so far ! Love the angst and h/c, love the OC (even though she's a bit**), and Jayden's characterization is pitch-perfect. His relationship with the Mars clan is lovely, too, your fic is everything I wanted to see after the end of Heavy Rain (how could they leave poor Jayden on his own like that ?!). I wonder where you will take the (one-sided) Jayden/Ethan relationship, it would be interesting to see Ethan's reaction if Jayden tells him the truth about his feelings. Please don't leave us with this cliffhanger, this fic is gold !
Keep up the good work ! :D
| Elda chapter 10 . 6/26/2013
I love the way you write. When I first read your fanfiction, it was like pictures I could have of Jayden's past were living right before my eyes (I also tried to write something about HR, but infortunalety I'm no as good as you :( ). And even after a second reading, i still feel the emotions of each characters, the pain of Norman to never have even only a thanks for all he has done and what the mess has become his life, Ethan's fear of losing his only child again, afraid of what might occurs to his family at the time he's trying with all his might to rebuild... The moments with Shaun were very cute - the sunlight in their lives-, like an bubble of fresh air in the moments when the tension of the story become heavy. i like the fact that the characters don't over-react when something happens to them, your writing is realistic ( I don't know if I'm explaining correctly) and this is very plesant to read.
To sum up, I love your fanfiction, and I was very disappointed to be already at the end of the 10th Chapter :(
I hope you will write an eleventh, and maybe a twelfth, thirteenth... until the end, i will read these with great pleasure.
I apologise if my English is bad,
Elda, a french reader :3
| Spicers Apple chapter 1 . 3/4/2012
Wow, you're a great writer! I like this Heavy Rain story of yours too. Jayden's confrontations with Snaff were humorous and reminiscent of Jayden's bickering with Blake (but here a step further). It was interesting with the idea for the improved ARI, and the safety feature implemented to prevent the nonsense that went along with the original ARI- messing with users' heads. I empathized with him when he learned his new case was just like the Origami Killer's, but backwards... what a clever way the FBI chose to fuck with him. And the end bit with him shedding a tear at the compliment for him made me simultaneously smile and feel sadness that all this time he's ever been with the FBI, he's never been shown adequate respect or admiration for what he's done. Overall this fanfic was excellent, and I'm proud to add it to my favorites :)