|Reviews for A Beautiful Bit of Magic|
| MissSadieKane chapter 2 . 4/22/2012
This is also a really good chapter. I didn't spot any mistakes at all this time. I really like the detail you are putting into this. I can really sympathise with what little Severus is going through and I can understand the reasoning behind what he feels. His father is really horrible to him, and I agree with Severus that it makes no sense why they don't move out or use magic against him. I also like the idea of him standing up to the bullies. I really like the length of the chapters and the way you finish each one leaving the reader (i.e. me) wanting to know more. You finished this chapter really nicely. I can't wait for more.
P.S. Soon you will be receiving a private message regarding the scoring for the competition. I haven't yet decided the scoring, but you and another author are being considered for first place, and I think the other one is in third. I've only seen three entries for this, so I opened the competition up for a second time. The winner for the first time will be announced, but there is a second run of the competition too. You can re-enter again if you want.
| MissSadieKane chapter 1 . 4/22/2012
I'm sorry for taking so long to review this. It's a really great start. I love the in depth look at a very young Severus's feelings, and the interaction with his Mother is really well done too. It's almost heart breaking the part about his mother baing always sad.
Your writing in this is also really good. There are a few parts where the word order doesn't seem quite right, but it is very easy to overlook these and it wasn't until I actually tried to quote them back at you that I realised there was anything wrong at all. It doesn't alter the meaning any, so don't worry. Your writing is childish in style, but again, you are writing from a childs point of view so this is to be expected.
Overall this is a great start so far.
| WeasleySeeker chapter 2 . 4/5/2012
Ooh it works now :) i don't know if that's because I'm on my phone instead of my useless computer or not. Anyway, i really like this! I think this is exactly how a small child in his position would think and act, and you're definitely doing him justice so far! Looking forward to the next chapter already. :)
| lella7 chapter 2 . 4/5/2012
This really gives an insight into what might have turned Severus to the dark arts and I liked your description of him never wanting to feel powerless. The conversation with his mother worked well too and it was a perfect example of a child asking the awkward questions that their parents can't even answer to themselves :)
| Makokam chapter 2 . 4/2/2012
Almost Love. That was the title of that first story. (No I didn't look it up, it just took me awhile to remember)
I'm not really sure what to say about this chapter. On one hand I'm surprised it exists, but on the other hand I can tell it was an important chapter, giving little Sevy a taste for the dark side.
The question about why the mother didn't defend herself with magic and her response also felt very true. A "stop asking questions I don't want to answer" moment.
| slightlysmall chapter 1 . 3/13/2012
This is great. Sad, but great. I like how he didn't know that his mother had real magic, and you portray the tension between his parents, and how he would perceive it at age three, really well.
| WeasleySeeker chapter 1 . 2/28/2012
This is so sad :'( but so beautifully written! So much emotion packed into such a short chapter! Can't wait to read more. :)
| The Cunning Slytherin chapter 1 . 2/27/2012
This is very sad, but well-written! I can't wait for the next chapter. I'm also looking forward to how you portray he and Lily's relationship!
Please update ASAP.
| Kerubim chapter 1 . 2/27/2012
I love the reading the emotions part. If Severus is an empath then it would make sense for him to learn occlumency because the feelings would overwealm him, especially the hate from all angles every day and when he lost lily then everything would be overwhelming...
Snape was a great and brave wizard. he wasn't terrible he was just an emotionally stunted, socially akward, abused, introvert, and genius in a job he hates. Poor Severus.
Well keep going. This is very good so far.
| lella7 chapter 1 . 2/27/2012
I thought it was very sweet that Severus' first use of magic was to protect his mum. I also liked the idea of his mother telling him that magic was just a game in order not to anger his father. I look forward to reading more :)
| Makokam chapter 1 . 2/27/2012
Well, this says Snape/Lilly so I'm guessing this is going to be a continuing story?
I liked it though. Especially Severous protecting his mom. It was cute and sweet. I'm sure the rest of it wont be, but it was nice while it lasted.
Guess that's it from me.