|Reviews for Repercussions Of Falling|
| Icecat62 chapter 25 . 8/21/2014
Really enjoyed your AU. Not too many Joanne hates Johnny fics around.
| Guest chapter 20 . 8/29/2013
then again I could be wrong, Chet is a jerk and does NOT like Johnny and DID mean to upset him at the hospital with the question he put to Johnny about when is he getting out of rehab making him sound as though he had a substance abuse problem.
| Guest chapter 16 . 8/29/2013
I think what I like most is that Johnny is NOT spending all of his with Roy. Everytime Johnny is hurt or sick, he is always at Roy's house. Joanne is the doting big sister Roy is the doting big brother. This is a different Joanne and a different Roy. Joanne is telling Roy he is spending too much time with Johnny and needs to be home more. She does not speak kindly of Johnny. She all but says, I think, that she wishes Roy would keep his substitute partner and send Johnny packing. His sub is a family man, like Roy. Johnny is single. I like this particular AU of Roy and Joanne. I like that you chose the Cap. to spend the most time w/ Johnny. I have not seen much of Chet this story but I think Chet sometimes puts his foot in his mouth. When he asked Johnny when he gets out the question annoyed the others the way it was stated I just think, he worded it wrong. Or at least I hope he worded it wrong and did not mean to upset Johnny. On the other hand, he did upset Johnny to the point where Johnny called him CHESTER instead of CHET.
| Colleen17 chapter 20 . 10/26/2012
AAhhh GUEST...I hate to break this to you but that's what **AU** means. Maybe you should stop reviewing and making a fool of yourself. :)
| A Lee En chapter 25 . 9/15/2012
Great story, though I'm really disappoined in Roy. Can't believe he let Joanne do that to him and Johnny. So very glad Cap and Mike and the guys at the hospital stood by Johnny.
Now... have you written that Dixie/Mike story yet? grin
| fanofrandy chapter 5 . 3/13/2012
"...the cry of the coyote is many moons away."
LOVE that line!
| WifeTut51 chapter 25 . 3/12/2012
I enjoyed the story.
| TheNaggingCube chapter 25 . 3/12/2012
A tad quick of a wrap up but I liked it.
| susan chapter 25 . 3/12/2012
what a finish loved the story great job
| NickTonyK chapter 25 . 3/12/2012
Great chapter! Love a happy ending!
| gage forever chapter 25 . 3/12/2012
I love the story and it's a great read... I'm lovin how Johnny still helped Joanne even tho she was so mean to him... I hope Johnny and Roy are able to build their relationship again... I hope you keep writing soon... I wonder where u will send this story next :)
| susan chapter 25 . 3/12/2012
awesome story! it went wel for johnny and the others.
I like to see how adam did being on another place hopefully out in no where.
I liked the mike and dixie story I bet there ios going to be a story for that I'm assuming.
please keep writing and update soon ok?
please & thank you for the great read! ) )
| jerseybelle chapter 25 . 3/12/2012
Such a good story. Thanks.
| Sashi4040 chapter 24 . 3/12/2012
Let me ask you something, Colleen17, are you on this site because you're truly interested in becoming a better writer or are you on here just to get praise? I suspect I know the answer, but just in case you ARE interested in bettering your work, here's my advice to you.
First of all, STOP BORROWING from the other writers on the site. None of us are blind and most of us aren't stupid, we can see that's exactly what you're doing; in fact, I can name the two stories you're getting elements from right here in this piece. "End of Innocence" and "Enduring the Aftermath", plus you're borrowing heavily from Inflamed's storylines too. Sorry, but that IS plagiarism and every single one of your stories is taken from the works of others. You're cheating the original writers by blatantly stealing from them, you're cheating your readers because you're not presenting anything new or original, just rehashed plot points that have been done so many times before, and you're cheating yourself because you're not pushing yourself as a writer to create unique and individual stories, you're content to just steal from the others and hope that you can get away with it. And really ask yourself what kind of writer you want to be regarded as on the site...a good writer who can come up with their own original work or a bad writer who resorts to plagiarism to get their ego stroked? And which kind of writer do you think the other authors on the site are going to respect and encourage? It certainly will not be someone that they regard with mistrust and suspicion, that's for sure.
Secondly, because you're so relying heavily on the stuff you're borrowing out of other stories, you're writing fanon-oriented fics instead of canon-oriented fics, meaning you're writing the characters based on what you're reading in the works of others rather than the characters based in the show. Seriously, every single Emergency! character in here is extremely OOC and rather offensively written, from overly weenie-ized and weak Johnny to daddy figure Cap, to cruel and distasteful Roy & Joanne, to outrageously bigoted Chet, even to Mike Stoker and Dixe engaging in a romance. Granted, you have the right to write the characters as you see them, but is this REALLY how you see them or are you viewing them through glasses that are shaded by the fanon offered by previous authors, then writing them that way because you think that's acceptable on the site? Do yourself a good favor and actually WATCH the episodes in-depth and you will see that your characterizations are so far off it's like you're writing some kind of soap opera. Not a single canon character here is likeable OR recognizable at all in any of your stories.
Thirdly, there is just so much wrong in how you write their emergency protocols. For instance, in this chapter alone, if Johnny had half a brain, he'd have known to radio for another squad to meet him at Roy & Jo's house, rather than him jetting off to there alone, without apparently notifying anyone in dispatch or at the station where he's going. According to the chapter, LA county dispatch still assumes he's at Rampart, and it's a huge breach in protocol for him not to have told dispatch where he was going. Again, this is because you're relying too heavily on what the OTHER writers are writing and you're taking their word as the gospel on how Emergency! fanfic is written, rather than trying to formulate your own ideas and doing your own research. Stop and think about it..if Johnny has two more patients in Joanne and her daughter, how is he going to treat both of them singlehandedly? You say he puts them in the squad and takes them to Rampart that way because the ambulance is 30 minutes away, but in reality, if Johnny had sense, he'd know that he'd need to get IV's started on Jo and the daughter in order to start rehydrating them, especially if they're that sick. Yet Johnny didn't apparently contact Rampart via the biophone to let them know he had two more patients that were coming in, he just threw them into the squad and took off...very weird for so many of you who love to paint Johnny as the glorious hero because his actions right there are anything BUT heroic, and actually are grounds to be brought up before a review board for breach of protocol.
Fourth, don't be in such a hurry to post every single time another author updates. I've been watching this site consistently this past weekend and I noticed that any time someone updated, you had to rush a chapter out to maintain the top spot. Are you competing with the other Johnny-owie writer that updates daily to see who can be the most annoying and most disliked on the site? Do you two think that wins you any popularity among the other writers on here when they work their asses off to post a new chapter or story, then you hurriedly rush through a chapter so you can post and boot them down? Granted, anyone can update anytime and there's no control over that, but take a good look at not only your review section but the review section of the other daily updater...do you see a single fellow writer among your reviewers or do you see just your "yes men" that are reviewing? Again, ask yourself how you want to be perceived on the site...do you want the others to respect you or dislike you? Because I can tell you that if I were a writer on here, I would be REALLY pissed as hell if I worked my butt off to update something and then you and the other writer threw out a hastily written chapter in order to keep the top spot, which again is very clear that's what you two are doing. My guess as to why you two like doing that is due to jealousy on your parts, you want to try to steal the thunder and recognition whenever a good writer updates because you both know you're not good writers yourselves. And you both actually might BE good writers if you bothered to take the time to focus on your writing, rather than worrying about constantly updating. Good writers know that too much of a good thing can burn readers out on their work, that's why most of them let a bit of time elapse between updates so that readers are left wanting more and are more interested in staying tuned. And really, why bother staying tuned to a story that updates six or seven times a day or at least on a daily basis? Not everyone has time to keep caught up on that many updates and as they say, abscence makes the heart grow fonder.
Fifth, you really need a beta or two (and no, I am not one). There's many grammatical, punctuational, and spelling errors that can be caught, plus the Australian versions of words are often a bit jarring to read in a story about American firefighters. Plus a good beta can help you fill in areas that need to be fixed for flow or content, so don't be afraid to seek out a beta, it will do your work good. Or maybe even consider taking a writing class to learn how to create your own unique ideas and work them into a decent story that isn't rushed, isn't inaccurate, and isn't swiped from the other writers on the site.
Now then, others have said much the same thing I'm saying and don't you think maybe if that many people are telling you these things that are wrong with your work, it might be wise to listen? Really, how do you think the writers you're ripping off feel when they see the plot elements they worked hard on to make their own are being used in such a fashion? If you're not willing to put the time and effort into creating your own unique, individual, and original stories, then perhaps you shouldn't be writing, as harsh as that sounds. And lest you think that I'm trying to discourage you from writing, let me assure you that that's very far from the case...I'm trying to point out the issues I'm seeing in your stories so that you can consider fixing them and become a better writer. I'm sure you'll block me after this because I've dared tell you my dissenting opinion, but let me give you a bit of advice as far as reviews go...when someone bothers to take the time and tell you the issues they see, don't take it as an attack, take it as advice for improvement on your work. And when you erase or delete or block those that don't give you the praise you're expecting, that tells everyone on the site that you have no desire whatsoever to improve your work, that you're only on here to reap great comments to your stuff and not try to better yourself like the others on the site.
Apologies for the length of this review, but I've bided my time long enough and felt this had to be said.
| susan chapter 24 . 3/12/2012
oh that is so priceless! that johnny helped her despite what she did.. It seems joanne got major payback too bad the kids got sick from food poisioning too from the shellfish.
what a shame adams's wife couldn't help her & the kids ...not!
you know something she didn't want to to help a friend ? now that's a creep!
you know it must have been pay back all around I'm sure after this joannne will be a lot nicer to johnny and I'm sure she's going to kick adam and his wife to the friendship curb and her parents too.
please keep writing and update soon
please and thankyou for the great story! ) )