|Reviews for The Railways End|
| WarpWizard chapter 9 . 11/13/2002
You're really capturing the feel of Sandman, in my opinion at least. Nicely done. I didn't expect much from this fic when it started, but it's been uniformly excellent (loved the chapter with everyone dreaming). Keep it up!
| Jared chapter 9 . 11/13/2002
Dude, make more.
| riskygamble chapter 8 . 10/17/2002
Will this story be updated? I really enjoyed it!
| wutdaheck chapter 8 . 9/24/2002
You son of a bitch. Finish this one up... quick!
I am loving it.
A lot of suspense. Good characterization and description. However, there were some parts that seemed too humorous for such a dark setting.
-Quote from fic
"It failed her. The best friend she had had for years failed her…
It’s no use…
…if it could not help her…
Call the Commander…
…then to hell with it.
That gave me fits of laughter. I don't think that's good. Change it.
| Hedgehogey chapter 1 . 8/30/2002
Great stuff keep it up!
| Violent-S chapter 7 . 8/25/2002
Read this a long time ago in darkscribe. From the 2 chapter you released back then , I imagined the story will be quite dark, with Shinji dealing with afterlife in a more hellish environment. I have no idea what Sandman is about but this fic is interesting , please continue.
| SuPeRnOvA145 chapter 5 . 8/24/2002
Interesting, but mostly wierd :).
| Haesslich chapter 1 . 8/22/2002
I'm a fan of Sandman and Evangelion, and liked the story overall. For the most part (save in Chapter 3, where I noted some grammar issues with Death, and also had some issue with her tattoo being described as an ankh which it is definitely not), it flows well. The characterizations of the Endless are dead-on, as are most of the Dreaming's denizens as encountered by Shinji.
The prelude sets things up nicely: a good use of the elements from Sandman to link that world with Evangelion's. Matthew and Daniel's dialogue flows naturally, and the prose is descriptive enough to allow me to picture the scenes as they're set up by the story.
Chapter 1: Setting up Shinji as the Vortex? It's interesting to see how the incident begins, as with Daniel witnessing the start of the problem. I'm hoping to see if the Evangelion units dream, seeing that Daniel notes that even they were affected by the Vortex, in later chapters. If these biomechanical creations dream, their dreams should be... interesting, to say the least.
Chapter 2: It feels like revisting _The Doll's House_ at times, with the mix of familiar elements with some odd ones that are unique to the Evangelion setting. Good use of the repetitive statement that brings everyone into the Vortex, though the part with Gendo was a little OOC without any clarification of his relationship with Ritsuko (she's not exactly a replacement or substitute for his wife... and she knows that, which is one of the main reasons she herself goes nuts near the end of the series). The dream with Gendo is rather cool though.
Now, for Misato; it's still stretching the boundaries of the believable with her, regarding her thoughts prior to falling asleep. She hasn't had much of a normal family life, and she's a very physical person. That explains some things, but it's still feeling like a tad of a stretch to see her thinking that about Shinji. But I wonder how she'll interact with Shinji in her dreams, and how the Vortex experience will affect her own psyche or her relationship with the others who were caught in it (Asuka, Gendo, Rei). On top of the horrific sense of loss she probably feels on losing Shinji, that is. What will she say to the boy who she may have loved as a friend, son, or a younger brother, but never voiced those thoughts before it was too late?
Chapter 3: The funeral scene was lovely, and Death's arrival fit things quite well. Some grammar errors crept in here, though Xanatose has covered most of what I noticed. I do like her attempt to bring closure to the lives of those affected by the death of Shinji, and her interference with SEELE's plan. I'm also hoping that you do more with those other elements from Sandman you've introduced, seeing that the immortals who walk among humanity are an excellent plot point for exploitation later. Not just those like Mad Hettie, but even bloody gits like John Constantine, should he have survived Second Impact. Or Lucifer even; the former ruler of Hell may have some rather dark thoughts about those who are trying to create a false Heaven, seeing he was cast down from it.
Chapter 4: Very, very odd. Shinji perceives Death as being like Misato? I wonder what this means, myself, and if he'll get to explore that thought sometime. He's run away from the pain of reality, and seems glad of it now, but I wonder if things may change later on? Hopefully he doesn't just 'return' to Earth and to life, though. It seems so RIGHT that he died the way he did, because of unfair circumstances and because he was running away from being hurt - yet also tried to protect others from the Vortex... hmmm, the Vortex as another Instrumentality Project...
Here's hoping for more chapters.
| The Sandman chapter 5 . 8/20/2002
Very interesting. I've never been a fan of the Sandman series [they were a bit obscure at the time], but maybe now I shall reconsider...
Great plot and story line. No grammer mistakes that I could see.
p.s. My name and that of the series is purely coincidental.
| Xanatose chapter 1 . 8/20/2002
So, you moved this here to get more reviews? Far be it from me to deprive you of this. Prepare yourself for a very comprehensive review, as I'm a big fan of both Evangelion and The Sandman.
(Indeed, I was planning a crossover of both these titles before I learned you had beaten me to it. I guess that I'll be canceling it now.)
Now to start, I like the prologue. It was well done, introducing Daniel for those who did not know him while not dwelling too much on details that could bore the reader.
You also appropriately matched the dialogue for both Daniel and Mathew. I really felt like Mathew was speaking, as it would be like him to exclaim:
¡§¡¥Mentally unbalanced¡? You mean he¡s nuts?¡
Mathew was never one to beat around the bush.
As for making Shinji the second vortex? Great idea; especially since the breaking down of AT fields can be considered the same, it was very appropriate.
The first chapter was nice, and I liked how you introduced Daniel by having him feed pigeons. Kind of brought back one of the little habits of the Sandman¡s to making things interesting, but I enjoyed even more the cryptic response Daniel gives to Shinji¡s question:
¡§We have, at night, and we shall meet again, though it may not be as¡Kpleasant as before.¡
Very much like the ¡§Sandman.¡ I figure Gaimen would have written something like that.
I also liked the sequence where you show us what everyone was doing before they fell asleep and what happened when they started dreaming. It mirrored ¡§The Doll¡s House¡ sequence nicely. Especially interesting was Gendo¡s dream, but on the amusing side, I like Misato¡s, since we got to see Able make a little perverted cameo.
(For those reading, and wondering, Able was a pervert who, when not being killed repeatedly by his brother Cain, liked to sneak into wet dreams for a show.)
Rei¡s dream was fascinating as I had never considered what her dreams may have been before. Of course, we all know what nightmares haunted Asuka, and Misato¡s dream was very interesting, but Rei¡s had an air of the truly surreal which you only find in a few dream sequences in the Sandman. I always loved those dreams the most. Very interesting.
The second chapter gave a nice sum up of what a Vortex is, and this can only be good since it explains to Sandman fans who haven¡t read ¡§The Doll¡s House¡ and Evangelion fans who don¡t know ¡§The Doll¡s House¡ from ¡§Season of Mists.¡
I also thought it was well played since this gave Shinji the obligatory chance to live on in the dreaming. Daniel was too nice a guy to not give him the chance, and even Morpheus had done the same to Unity Kinkaid.
Also, kudos for explaining that Daniel and the rest of the Endless are not gods, since that was sure to confuse a few Eva fans.
Shinji¡s reaction to the knowledge that he was a Vortex, I thought, seemed right on. Perhaps not, but that isn¡t really something we can be sure of. After everything was said and done in EOE, he did take the knowledge that he would have to make a choice about coming back or staying, pretty well. Of course, he was haunted by the knowledge, but that he didn¡t go completely insane at the end of it suggests that he could take the knowledge that he would have to die in a dream. But then again, his confusion over the situation probably spared his sanity. As Lovecraft has written, the human mind was not meant to know too much. It¡s probably for the best that Shinji is confused as hell by everything in the Dreaming.
If anything, I have one major issue with the way the rest of this story is going, or rather, not going. Gendo, Misato, Asuka, and Rei should all be going crazy now. In ¡§The Doll¡s House,¡ people didn¡t have a good reaction to their dreams being torn down and mixed like so much tossed salad. Barbera became mentally disturbed, Ken became abusive, those spider ladies¡Xwell, they were crazy to begin with, but you know what I¡m saying?
So why isn¡t the Eva cast exhibiting strange behavior now? Asuka, Gendo, and the others should be exhibiting OOC quarks. You could have used this as a great excuse to explore the possibilities of giving Rei and Gendo a certain degree of dementia, but you¡ve let the chance seemingly slip you by.
The third chapter was nice, and I liked how you started it in Destiny¡s Garden, which I feel we didn¡t get to see often enough in ¡§The Sandman.¡ I think you should have described Destiny¡s appearance a bit more though, for the Eva fans. Oh, and good job with the Newt statue.
I¡m a bit disturbed by the whole autopsy scene, but Gendo is Gendo, and considering that the Sandman had far more macabre scenes at times, I think it was appropriate.
I really liked the appearance of Death at Shinji¡s funeral, and great idea using the quote from Morpheus, but I have one problem with Death¡s dialogue. It¡s otherwise perfect, except for this one part:
Misato was the first to speak, ¡§I¡m sorry; did you know Shinji?¡
¡§Know him? Nah; but eventually I meet everybody,¡
Now, technically, it should be remembered that Death did know him. She knows everyone. But you did get it right when she said she does meet everybody. Right before they are born. Nobody seems to remember this though, and it¡s only mentioned twice in the entire Sandman series; all the same, this hints that Death has another duty which only the Endless know of, and is the reason why she is never called ¡§Death¡ by her siblings. Destruction, Dream, Destiny¡Xthey never call her ¡§Death.¡ Only ¡§Sister.¡
¡§Huh. Say, Dream?
If your servants dream, where do they go when they do so?
That is for me to know and for you to find out, my sister¡K¡
I loved this part. Sounds just like a conversation between Death and Daniel, and bonus points for bringing up another one of the many mysteries that surrounded the Dreaming.
Now this brings us to chapter four. At this point, I thought the story was over. You¡ve already brought up the Second Vortex, and you¡ve ended the threat. Seems the story is done, and all that is left is the epilogue. So what comes next¡Xthe lifers! PERFECT! Now the story can continue.
Of course, how this relates to the Vortex, I have no idea, and I¡m hoping it does.
So, of course, the lifers would be upset at the prospect of the entire world dieing. I¡m certain Hob Gadling doesn¡t want to expire anytime soon, and Mad Hatte probably has a thing or two to say to Kihl (when she¡s not cutting up doves to tell the future, that is.)
I enjoyed the cafeteria scene very much. You captured the mad-cap-world of the Dreaming very well and how Shinji would react. It would be just like him to try and keep unnoticed, but then again, that would also be said of everyone else in that situation.
Shinji¡s reaction to Merv Pumpkinhead was also done well, but I think you start using the term ¡§salt of the earth¡ too much at this point. I¡ve never heard of Death being described with that term until now, and that should be your cue to stop. :)
I also liked how he met Lucian, but he¡ll be sorting out the unwritten books from now on? Jeeze, after finishing the Ls, I think he would want to go back to piloting. Just wait until he gets to the Ks, and has to shift though all the crap that Kimberly never wrote, and he¡ll be wishing he had been killed by the third angel.
(Okay, I know, that was a cheep shot¡K ƒº Anyway; I wonder what he¡ll think of my unwritten Eva/Sandman crossover when he reaches it¡K I imagine he¡ll blush furiously when he reaches Axel¡s unpublished S/A lemons.)
Now I¡m interested in seeing where the Eva storyline is going to go from here. Misato¡s screaming for better weapons, Ritsu¡ has to find a new pilot, and Gendo and Futuysuki find themselves at a crossroads. Again, the dementia which these characters should have suffered after Shinji tore down and blended their dreams like a smoothie, could have been a key to this part of the plot for interesting effect. Too bad you seem to have neglected this possibility, but hopefully this will be changed in the next few chapters. There is still time to have Asuka and Rei acting off key a little.
So, all in all I think you¡ve got a great story so far. I look forward to the next few parts, and I also hope you¡ll start exploring the effects of Shinji¡s short stint as a Vortex on Misato, Gendo, Rei, and Asuka, while you also stop using the term ¡§salt of the earth¡ too much.
(PS Can you imagine what it would be like for Abel to meet Shinji? The low self-esteem and stammering meters will reach new levels when they enter the same room¡K Cain would probably want to kill them both after they babbled non-stop for a few minutes.)
| doob chapter 5 . 8/20/2002
Hey RS, very very good story man ) definately an original idea. Btw did you post this on evafics? it'll definately make the cut if you haven't...
| Jeanne M chapter 3 . 7/19/2002
This is very intriguing. I've only seen a bit of Evangelion, but I'm enjoying the way you bring the quirks of each character to life. I look foward to your next installment. Kudos on a job well done. ~ Jeanne M.
| SkywaterBlue chapter 2 . 6/13/2002
Mmmm...cool. So Daniel has stopped Shinji just in time. What will happen next?
By the way, blending EVA and Sandman is a good idea. :)
| Java Girl chapter 1 . 5/31/2002
Oh oh! you so have to finish this! and quickly!
| Courtney Van Allen chapter 1 . 5/21/2002
Interesting, though I haven't ever read Evangelion. I'm looking forward to see where you take this. Well done!