|Reviews for Poor In Pocket, Rich In Love|
| patriotprideboy chapter 1 . 10/27/2013
This is an interesting take on Mami's character, almost making her seem like a mother bear (in a good way). Defensive, sassy, and threatening, niiiiiice. I like this so far!
| Markus Ramikin chapter 3 . 3/19/2013
Good job. Very heartwarming.
The ending is something that I'd normally find too cheesy, but this time it made me want to cheer.
The same goes for the previous time she explodes: "screw EVERYTHING". F-yeah! Love it when that fire surfaces, after all her usual timidity.
My favourite bit is probably the "pretending to hear the dying cries of millions of tiny dirt particles as they are washed clean in my righteous frothy rage". That made me smile. (Except I think it should be "as they were washed".)
On to criticisms:
A bit more proofreading love is needed here. You should put in the time because this story deserves it.
I find it inconceivable that Mami wouldn't notice her dirty hair /before/ going to sleep, and get her to wash it. I didn't like that part.
It's a bit jarring that Mami kept calling her Binbou-san instead of using her given name. After you've established that calling her Poor-chan is bad taste, and you for some reason explicitely drew attention to how Binbou means poverty, it felt awkward. And since Mami asked to be called by her first name, there's no reason she couldn't do the same and call her Marisa, or Marisa-san.
And it's just a bit hamfisted at times. "You may be less fortunate then the rest of us, but that doesn't make you less of a person", does anyone talk like that?
"I'll make this real simple for you, Chuckle-Nuts. Either you go away, and leave poor Binbou-san alone" - her saying "poor" is unnecessarily diminishing towards Binbou. And stuff like "real simple" seems out of character for the rather sophisticated person that is Mami. See confrontations with Homura in episodes 1-3 for how nasty Mami can be without seeming unpolished.
When Marisa says "I'm a useless person, just living off your generosity", I wish Mami had countered that with something with more substance than just a literal denial. Just repeating "you're not useless" would not be persuasive to someone in Marisa's position, and it would be nice to use that chance to draw the reader's attention to what how Mami values Marisa.
"those who've got nothing to live for" - What the hell? That's cold. I can just see the girls going "gee, thanks a lot, Madoka."
"Who I am isn't important" - cliche!
Anyway, most of the things I didn't like were trivial and overall I enjoyed this story.
| Lonewolf685 chapter 3 . 1/25/2013
Ah...nothing like a happy ending.
Well her life span just got cut to ten years left to live, but still a happy ending with a kickass ending line.
Now to start on the sequel!
| Rhyno Holter chapter 2 . 3/24/2012
While I do notice some out of characterness in chapter one (Princess Bitchy is one thing, but Chuckle-Nuts made me lol) and the rush of the whole thing (myself preferring build up), I am still highly intrigued by this concept. I've not considered Poor-chan worthy of yuri love because I never considered it. But the story itself could work, and even better if you let the relationship feelings unfold slowly. Just trying to help, sorry.
Is this story still going? There'll be more than two chapters, right? I must express curiosity. Will Crazy Mami be apart of this tale, in perhaps a fit of jealousy (crazy Mami being the one that was shown briefly in episode 10. she killed Kyoko.)? That'd be interesting too, as would Binbou's ability to cope (or perhaps express craziness of her own?). Keep up the writing!
| Electric Eclectic chapter 2 . 3/10/2012
Gah! I-I'm flattered that you dedicate it to me! I really wasn't expecting this! ;_; But thank you!
I really loved the chapter...I was crying quite a bit because of how much love Mami gave her, when no one else would. :)
And when Binbou said, "I love her. Deal with it.", I yelled a F*** YEAH, because she finally found the love and courage she needed in order to stand up to them.
I agree with Sheo, Mami/Binbou is now a favorite pairing. Thank you for writing this and keep up the awesome work! :D
PS - Striped Panties are cute. xD Also, will you be writing any other Mami related fics? :)
| James Birdsong chapter 2 . 3/9/2012
| Sheo Darren chapter 2 . 3/8/2012
I can't stop crying. I'm so happy for them. I really am. Ahhh...
| Electric Eclectic chapter 1 . 3/5/2012
This was really adorable! :) Hope you could write a follow up to this someday! Keep up the good work!
| Sheo Darren chapter 1 . 3/5/2012
Awww... they're such a cute couple... *sniff*
| James Birdsong chapter 1 . 3/1/2012
| Danny Barefoot chapter 1 . 3/1/2012
Awww, very fluffy and sweet. Saying that Mami droned something when they were talking about heir food was a bit strange, but she really is kind.