|Reviews for Helpless|
| GinnyStar chapter 1 . 3/22/2012
Well that was great I am glad to read this storyline, I can kinda 'see' it in my mind.
| Chrysexanthe chapter 1 . 3/7/2012
I just love the way you 'handled' John! ;-)
Your insight into how a person might feel after spending so much time alone seems to me to be dead on - what a terrible nightmare to have!
His thoughts about dealing with calls when he knows that help wouldn't arrive in time -
his feelings as he listened to what was going on, knowing that members of his family might be breathing their last while he sat there, helpless - came across so well.
Well done, as always ;-)
| BoomerCat chapter 1 . 3/3/2012
Brilliant as always. You have John down so well. I read this, and could just see Johnny up in TB5 thinking this all out. A beautiful story, thank you for sharing.
| TB's LMC chapter 1 . 3/3/2012
Very well-written, I thought. Wonderful to see a familiar scenario from a different point-of-view, and I thought John was well in-character. I enjoy seeing him written in a mature fashion, and thought you handled not only his personality, but his reaction to the situation in exactly that fashion. Thank you for bringing a different perspective to one of my favorite episodes!
| tiylaya chapter 1 . 3/3/2012
I very much enjoyed this story. I felt that it captured the isolation and helplessness of John's situation with chilling effectiveness.
I particularly loved the description and imagery here. Your description of John's easy relationship with his Thunderbird drew me in to the story, and established his competence and steady nature before you darkened the story with his reaction to IR's failures.
The whole ordeal of 'Terror in New York City' was terrifying to watch on screen as entertainment. How much more so when it's your family on the screen, rather than strangers? I think you showed that very well. And it is so like John to internalise it all at the end there, 'facing his fears in private'.
This was a well told story, and a well-written insight into John's character.
| FABreader chapter 1 . 3/2/2012
I like the sense of isolation that comes through your writing and John's fear of being the last person alive after an Earth-wide catastrophe.
He worries about the people that his brothers can't save but it doesn't come across as a fear as much as the nightmare does. But perhaps it's the counselling that helps him keep it under control.
Then there's John listening in while Virgil in TB2 limps home and crashes on the runway, John picturing everything as it happens. This is when the isolation is really felt. He's up on Five and his family is too busy with Virgil and Two to let him know what's happening, and no radio conversation to eavesdrop on.
I admit that after reading about the nightmare, I thought that was going to be John's greatest fear and I was looking forward to seeing what fate beheld Earth. I didn't quite get the sense that his fear was that they couldn't save everybody, or that it was it one of his brothers being hurt. A small critique in a great story. Thanks.
| mcj chapter 1 . 3/2/2012
This is a very nice piece - John not only acknowledging and talking about how he tries to address his fears but also “experiencing them alone in TB 5. You certainly give us a nicely balanced insight into John’s character. The only thing I would have liked to see is more rise and fall in the emotions of the story-telling – one of my favourite things.
| Teobi chapter 1 . 3/2/2012
There are a few small typos in this story which interfered with the flow of events, such as-
'they arrived to late too save this family.'
'Sometimes they only have a few minutes left, far to short a time for us to reach them'.
'...he and I hardly ever get chance for relaxed chats together'.
'Then Alan's triumphant"I've found a pulse!"
Some confusion between 'to' and 'too', a missing word and a space that needs to be added. Just minor corrections, but as you're a member of a writers' group and a stickler for detail yourself, I thought you'd appreciate them being pointed out.
Not a bad story- although I didn't get the sense of dread or fear that I got from some of the others. I feel as though there's something holding you back from really expressing yourself.
| cathrl chapter 1 . 3/2/2012
I found John's nightmare here really very creepy. All alone up there and the lights of Earth have gone out...brrr. And then he has to sit up there, over and over, while events play out below him.
Helpless is the absolute perfect title for this one.
| thunderbird5 chapter 1 . 3/2/2012
What you say here are true. You never know if help will get to those people in time or if your voice would be the last that they will ever hear. I mite be the one doing almost the same job one day. Getting a call for help and then been the last one those people talk to. So yeah, i know how John feels. It hurts like hell when you couldn't help. When you can only listen ant talk to them.
| JoTracy123 chapter 1 . 3/2/2012
Hey. Loved this when I first read it. It is so nice to see John take on things.
Well done you x