|Reviews for Harbinger|
| Aronim chapter 2 . 8/10/2012
Henry Lawson. Pragia. Mix of FEAR dreams and Reapers? Now I'm really intrigued. Your way of dropping notes of canon already is brilliant.
Collectors? Wow, you don't pull your punches on making some interesting story leaps. I know you said wildly diverge from canon, but now I'm really wondering where this is going.
Even more clever action, and your depiction of gear shows that you put thought into how to describe it and how it is made, making it seem like a real thing instead of just "oh, and he had this armour". Instead you show a soldier.s appreciation of the specific equipment he sees. Same goes for your descriptions in general.
An you have probable made the best description of a singularity I've ever seen, especially the little clever note that the blood spatter is caught in the gravity field. Brilliant.
Nice little lampshade hanging on the "insane engineer who thought stuff should be bulletproof".
Also, the fact that I'm only familiar with F.E.A.R. in passing makes it really interesting.
One thing though:
"Dark energy surged around the asari, and gravity intensified over the Replica's heads. A micro-singularity suddenly formed over the enemy position, signified by a tiny, swirling ball of blackness and distorted light patterns swirling around the intense mass effect field she generated. " This wording is slightly odd, considering that you say gravity intensified above them. It's more like it reverses isn't it? I'm suggesting:
Dark energy surged around the asari, and a micro-singularity suddenly formed over the enemy position. The tiny, swirling ball of blackness distorted the light patterns swirling around the intense mass effect field she generated, which drew on the Replica soldiers with a force easily surpassing the pull of the planet." Or something like that. Not that the original wording is horrible, it's just a little mar in an otherwise superb narrative and I'm guessing you wouldn't mind the attempts to further improve your writing.
On to next chapter, I'm kinda sad that that is the last chapter for now.
| Aronim chapter 1 . 8/10/2012
This seems really awesome. Will be interesting if you can pull it off. At the moment, your grammar and action is certainly convincing. I hope you do character interaction just as well.
To the next chapter!
| darkfinder chapter 1 . 7/8/2012
that was so creepy and fun . to bad you cut to the end .
| DarthNacho chapter 2 . 6/1/2012
It was at that point I realized. The Reapers are the answer to the Psychic question, aren't they? I've read the spacebattles thread. I have you now.
| Anonnermus chapter 3 . 5/21/2012
More Harbinger? And Harbinger is more directly introducing... Harbinger? Alma can find TIM from - I suppose - across a galaxy if he's unshielded?
Sweet :) Keep it up. I wait for more.
| badkidoh chapter 3 . 5/1/2012
Yet another great chapter.
| Razorsmile chapter 3 . 4/30/2012
- Sheng Ji-Yang, eh? Heh. You and Earthscorpion are like peas in a pod, aren't you :D
- you do tactical ultraviolence better than any other fanfic author I've seen. Congrats.
- Illusive Man is cybernetically enhanced of course. Are they Reaper crap or human tech?
- we've seen Shepard's physical/psychic limits now. Good.
- Renders, I take it, are psychics that can do the opposite of healing, yes? That is a messed-up power; you'd definitely not want to fight one with anything other than (a) landmines (b) robots AND/OR (c) snipers
- are there physicals who just have superstrength without the speed?
Spacebattles needs to hurry up and get back online already.
subsider34: The italicized parts are the Replicas talking to each other. The rest of it ("limbs" and "dark energy" etc) is narratiion about the Collectors. Peptuck is drawing parallels between the two disposable clone armies.
| S058 chapter 3 . 4/30/2012
Nice work, as always Peptuck!
I especially liked the bits with Fettel's POV, those are always interesting to witness.
Wonder what TIM's up to...
Shame SB's down, else I'd offer further feedback.
| subsider34 chapter 3 . 4/30/2012
Awesome chapter. Still, the part that *seemed* to be from the reapers perspective was confusing. Several times I wondered whether you had changed perspectives but forgot to add a horizontal bar to notify the reader.
From what I can tell, you were going for 'alien' when showing the perspective of the reapers. Unfortunately, it came across to me as confusing. This was largely due to the inclusion of Replica communications without specifying that these were intercepted.
Also, I hope you haven't given up working on Drift (honestly that is one of the most enjoyable fan fics on the site to read).
| Yoholic chapter 3 . 4/30/2012
Another excellent chapter by you please keep up the goodwork
| Eipok chapter 3 . 4/30/2012
I cannot express how much I love the idea of Replicas fighting Collectors. That said, there definitely isn't enough of Human/Citadel and Human/Terminus interaction. One of the most intriguing aspects of this universe you've created is how other species react to humanity and its abilities, practices and creations. You touched on it a bit in this chapter, but I'd like to see a lot more of such things, expecially with regards to Armachan and non-human opinions of it.
| DarthNacho chapter 3 . 4/30/2012
Would it be weird if i giggled like a schoolgirl when I noticed you updated? How about when Harbinger assumed direct control? Or Fettel for that matter? I really enjoyed this chapter. I'm guessing that TIM now has Alma, or something like that. Oh, I can't wait for the plot.
| 12345 chapter 2 . 4/24/2012
Is there a reason why you stopped writing this amazing story?
| Anonnermus chapter 2 . 4/13/2012
Well this is gonna be fun. Hope we can see more soon.
| Anonnermus chapter 1 . 4/13/2012
And now I'm left wondering - whats the bigger threat to galactic civilization: The Reapers... or the Alma family?
And SPESS MAJIK has nothing on Alma.