|Reviews for Three to Triumph|
| ecchansama chapter 23 . 10/12
Wow. Where to begin.
Your ability to use the English language is very good, even if there are some hiccups with punctuation. There are also some cases where it feels more like you're talking to the reader rather than writing to the reader(, y'know).
The pretense was what made me start reading this story, as I felt it was intriguing enough to warrant more than a casual glance. What made me decide to read it to the end was that while reading chapter 11 I still felt it was a prologue, and I wanted to see the meat of the story.
Your way of writing, at least in this story, is not one I favour. True, there are some classical writers that told the reader what happened, but the most common way in modern times is the adage "Show, don't tell." Sadly I find that most of this story is just telling. "This happened, then this happened, and that happened, and also that." It reads more like a history lesson/book than a piece of fiction. There are, however, a few brilliant passages where the scenes feel alive, so I have no doubt you can indeed write really well.
Sadly, this story is mostly narrative with very little dialogue, something I find it suffers for. I felt as if the meat I was hoping for was merely a small morsel drowned in plain brown sauce.
P.S. Yes, I know my way of critiquing is harsh, it's simply the way I've learned to do it. D.S.
| Midots chapter 23 . 9/7
very good read and an interesting angle
| Midots chapter 1 . 9/6
5stars for the introduction. very apt and believable
| Shannon Dee chapter 23 . 3/31
Thank you for an enjoyable story.
| Just a reader chapter 2 . 1/27
I don't get it. You call them Gods and then say that 'Laya was being driven thin that night;' and 'He even MANAGED to divert...' Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't gods supposed to be over-powerful? Why was a god being driven thin by the actions of a mere mortal? And if Schlakett's curse / protection activated for Harry, then Harry is obviously a descendant of Schlakett. Which means that at least one of Lily and James is also a descendant of Schlakett. So why didn't the curse / protection activate when Voldemort was killing them? A lot of plot holes here, you need to figure it out.
Another thing I noticed is that the first two chapters are almost an information dump with almost no engaging conversations to keep readers interested in the story.
| Guest chapter 23 . 12/21/2016
| MilandaAnza chapter 23 . 11/11/2016
This was an enjoyable read and I'm glad Luna - Hermione bonded too. I love seeing them a story a proper triad
| WTF PEEPS chapter 3 . 10/26/2016
Do you know the story where Hermione was going to do this spell on a house elf but Harry stops her and it hits him. But now Draco is his 'master' and has to obey him. Also I remember this part where Harry was jerking off in a broom closet and yelled master. But can you help me find this. By the way good story so far. I like story's that Harry grows up in the wild and with no parents.
| adafrog chapter 23 . 10/6/2016
Loved it, thanks.
| noreenklose chapter 23 . 9/18/2016
I thank you for writing.
I really enjoyed reading your story.
You have shown great imagination in your story crafting.
I only wish that Dumbles had been taken down HARD!
I'm glad that mo-Ron was kept to a minimum in this story.
(I truly dislike Ron, Ginevra, & Molly. Also Umbridge, Dumbledore, & Snape.)
Oh well, I admit my prejudice about those characters.
I really rejoiced in NOT reading about the so-called "Golden Trio."
| katmom chapter 23 . 9/1/2016
Thanks for sharing this different approach to HP with us. It was nicely done and an enjoyable read.
| midnightscar17 chapter 23 . 8/14/2016
| Guest chapter 23 . 5/20/2016
| ashvin1.618 chapter 11 . 3/29/2016
need, maasam and yadaadi .. interesting to read telugu as elven tongue
| daithi4377 chapter 1 . 1/6/2016
So only the four founders would remember the history of magic in humans? Why three orphans if there were four families?