|Reviews for Jaywalking|
| ExceleKurokami chapter 1 . 7/13
Anyone with an eye and functional brain cells was able to see that Mindy was attracted to Dave from the moment she smiled at him while slicing and dicing those drug dealers, one of which had been bothering Katie. Dave had an attraction to her as well, but his teenage mind was more focused on T&A, which Mindy lacks even into her teenage years, so in spite of feeling a powerful connection to the girl, he just assumed it was a deep bond of trust and companionship, not the tie between soul mates.
Doesn't help that she was twelve and he was sixteen or seventeen when these feelings formed.
The two were destined to be lovers, regardless of age gap. So what if he's, what, four or five years older than her? Married couples now have ten or more years between them sometimes. The only issue people would have is if they did anything sexual before she was legal. (sadly, Mindy will almost always look like jail bait, either due to her intense exercise limiting her growth, the trauma her mother went through while carrying her or a genetic predisposition to being small)
| Talliann chapter 1 . 9/18/2013
After watching "Kick-Ass 2" this fic just fits with what Dave would think if he would make a move to be with Mindy that way. Good job!
| Vicious Dice chapter 1 . 5/11/2013
Fantastic! I really enjoyed this...
| BlueEyedBrigadier chapter 1 . 4/14/2013
He might love being a vigilante crimefighter but Dave's a complete noob to being practical when it comes to ignoring ingrained social mores. Mindy is legally and physically 14, even if how she was raised makes her act more like she's twice that age...she's the extreme example of what might have happened if Bruce Wayne had met and become a guardian to Dick Grayson or Jason Todd or Tim Drake much earlier in their lives, rather than in their mid-to-late teens. Dave hating himself for wanting to have a full relationship with someone who's several years younger than himself (Mindy doesn't even meet the minimum for "Half Your Age Plus Seven") is right for his character at this stage in the game, but Mindy isn't going to back down ;P
| goldinman chapter 1 . 1/19/2013
I liked it. Not worth the M rating, but i liked it
| Sypoth Sithicus chapter 1 . 7/9/2012
Nice, I like how you added depth and thought to this story. So few authors write with anything more than a brief description of what's happening and forget to add texture. All in all you did a damn good job and I would like to commend you for it.
| shadowglove chapter 1 . 5/27/2012
Oh my...I loved this! So bittersweet 3
| Luan Mao chapter 1 . 3/16/2012
I like it. As a stand-alone, it sort of works but only because I've recently read a fair number of Mindy-n-Dave stories along similar lines. I haven't read _Fall Damage_ (yet) so I can't say whether it would or should go in there.
Beyond that, the first paragraph of Makokam's review says what I was going to say, but he said it better.
| Makokam chapter 1 . 3/8/2012
I'm not sure what to make of this. It is kind of dark, but it could easily have been sweet as well. I don't fault you for going down this road though. However it does make me wonder how well Dave will hold up to the internal stress he's putting himself through if he "sleeps" with Mindy(as Jerry Seinfeld said, there is a big difference between /that/ and sleep.) Because of who they are and what they do I wouldn't fault him for choosing to go all the way with her, but if he's just going along with her while still arguing and berating himself for what he's doing...he really shouldn't. There are some things you just shouldn't do if you're of two minds about it, and this is one of them. Hell, sex in general is one of those things. Even if Mindy loves it and considers it the best decicsion she ever made, if that's how HE feels about it, he's going to feel like shit after it's over.
That said, I feel like this story lacks a bit of context. Not a lot since you say it was supposed to be, and might end up as, part of Fall Damage. But just little things, like why was Dave topless? How much time has passed since she said she loved him and wanted to be with him? How old IS she? (I know you told me once but I forget, is it 12 or 13?)
That said it was very well written and I look forward to more of your work.
| TharzZzDunN chapter 1 . 3/8/2012
Nice conflict, it reads well for me.
| Insane Winxy chapter 1 . 3/7/2012
I hope to see story's like this from you in the future.
| TorontoBatFan chapter 1 . 3/7/2012
I can totally see Dave torn that way. He knows he wants Mindy. He realizes that his feelings for her go far beyond friends/partners. (i.e. It's more than just lust or desire for sex. Dave wouldn't allow this to happen if he genuinely didn't love her.) However, he's torn over the fact that intellectually he knows that considering her age, it's wrong from a number of viewpoints.
However, as I see it, Dave could justify it by the telling himself that nobody could force Mindy to ever do something she wouldn't want to. As well, Mindy's upbringing and general psychological state -which, to put it charitably, tends to turn a blind eye to normal conventions of behaviour in most things- means that this would not be as big an issue as with other girls her age.
I honestly don't think the law is a big thing they'd worry about. After all, they pretty much take the law into their own hands on a regular basis. So, they wouldn't much care about that.
I wonder if Dave considers himself screwed up for desiring Mindy in the way he clearly does. I tend to go with the idea that Dave and Mindy really belong together because I really can't see them being able to sustain relationship with anyone else for any period of time.
This DOES have a much different feel from "Fall Damage". In FD, there's a warm feeling throughout the story. There, Dave seems to be so comfortable with Mindy that it's almost surprising he didn't already figure out she wanted to be more than friends with her.
In this fic, had anything happened between them before? Any sort of build-up? I got the impression that Dave had been in the bathroom while Mindy was showering -indicating there was already more intimacy than normal.
Overall this fic felt...different...than FD. But, I realize that was your intent. However, it was still a nice vignette from a slightly AU.
Great job. :-)
| Fibinaci chapter 1 . 3/7/2012
Very well done, I can see why you'd hesitate to put this in your other story given but did like this glimpse into Dave's mind, their relationship definitely exists in the grey area that makes life difficult for people.
| HwonDos chapter 1 . 3/7/2012
I gotta say that a little angst is a good thing. It makes the funny funnier.