|Reviews for What the Future Holds|
| Anon chapter 4 . 1/19/2014
I've been perusing Hunger Games fics for a while, and I must say that your creativity and your story ideas are very refreshing! There's not many post-Mockingjay fics out there, and out of them all, I can honestly say that I really like where yours is going the most. It's detailed and is using information from the series to build and develop your ideas, which is fantastic, and I love the details that you include. I can definitely tell you paid attention to the series.
Though I do have some critique, if you don't mind! This is nothing against you personally, just things I noticed in your work. Now, I know we're only getting started in seeing Jade's character and history - which I do like! - but it irks me how desirable and "hot" she is. More specifically, the fact that, literally, every single male character (except for Beetee, it seems) swoons over her and wants her in bed is very cliche and does nothing for her character. It's okay to have an attractive character, but I feel as though her beauty and attractiveness is played up way too much, to the point where it becomes quite redundant and detracts from the story. I actually find myself skimming over those parts to get back to the main plot. For example, the elevator scene was straight to the point - she's desired, but she wants none of it. But then, later on, we see all of the talk of how the men want to ride her and frequently fantasize/masturbate to her, puff up their chests and sit straighter for her. That is extreme, to the point of being ridiculous (not everyone will find your character attractive - perhaps you've personally had a crush, and having your friends be all like "ew no gross"? The only one doing that in your story is Liz, and she seems to be the only one out of hundreds of sexually attracted fanatics. It's just too much). Also, this all undermines your character. This strong, bad ass chick with a complicated history is just so physically desirable, it makes her seem 2D and cheap. I really love her and her development, so it pains me to see her appear this way. She doesn't need to be a prude or particularly unattractive, the sexual attraction just needs to be knocked back a bit. At this point, it's taking over your story.
My other critique was when Gale was in the bar, and looking for a distraction. Love - on top of rejection - hurts, especially for Gale who always thought of Katniss as his. I understand his grief. However, my suggestion is Candis (whether or not she is Jade, I'm not sure yet), because Gale absolutely loathes and detests EVERYTHING from the Capitol - the people included. We can see this throughout the series, but especially when he reproaches Katniss for sticking up for her stylists in Mockingjay. Even though the stylists were innocent, have been mistreated during the rebellion, and were Katniss' "friends" (I'm using that loosely, since Katniss isn't as close to them as she was with Cinna) but Gale still sees them as the enemy - the reasons why he, Katniss, and the districts have suffered. If it wasn't for the Capitol, there wouldn't be any Hunger Games and none of this would've happened. So I believe that, drunk or not, he would be absolutely repulsed by her presence, let alone have sex with her. Sex appeal isn't enough to change one's feelings, especially one's as strong as Gale's, because his bitterness and hatred is what drives him through the series, namely Mockingjay. That passion wouldn't disappear after the rebellion ended and a couple of self-pity drinks.
Lastly, (and this pretty much ties in with what I wrote above, so I'll be brief!) it's strange seeing Gale - the formerly desired and hunted - to be the one who is desiring and is hunting. I feel as though his attraction to Jade trumps his love for Katniss, which greatly undermines his character. Now, don't get me wrong, I love love LOVE the idea of pairing Gale up with an OC, so I'm not critiquing that at all! I just personally think (and I could be totally wrong - I think this is up to individual interpretation) he'd be the type only attracted to those who remind him in some way of Katniss. To him, it wouldn't be the OC - it'd only be Katniss, so the relationship between the OC and Gale would never develop into a full-blown romance, because I don't think that could be developed for him. It'd mostly likely be Gale very reserved and conflicted, maybe somewhat protective of the OC too (especially if she reminds him of Katniss), until he falls into a corner of despair because, in reality, it's not Katniss. I just think there needs to be more between Jade and Gale rather than just plain sexual attraction, but I'll be looking for more of that in the later chapters.
Anyway, enough of all of that! Again, I didn't write this to demean you - your writing is fabulous, your story is detailed, and your ideas and plot are marvelous. The things I listed above are just things that I personally felt took away from the story. But I sincerely look forward to reading more and to see how everything develops and comes together. Bravo!
| underclassISIS chapter 1 . 1/18/2013
this is a really fascinating story that you've created, I can't wait to read more c:
| angel eyes1 uk chapter 7 . 1/16/2013
Yey, you're writing again. Enjoyed the new chapter!
| chef diamond heart chapter 7 . 1/15/2013
YOWZA! That sure had me at the edge of my seat, gasping and exclaiming. No wonder Jade is so hard-cored! I'm surprised they didn't manufacture a way to have her number drawn for the Games. And what a reason to carry a grudge against the old regime ...
Glad this is back-seems like you have some new energy for the fic. (I thought about asking if you were going to continue but thought it might be a sore subject.) Looking forward to the next installment : ((hugs)) Carmen
| angel eyes1 uk chapter 6 . 6/25/2012
Nicely done, chick. Keep up the good work.
More, more, more. Update, update, update. ;)
| chef diamond heart chapter 6 . 6/23/2012
Aahh ... easy as breathing ... *smirk* Poor Gale, seems like none of the girls he likes really see him That Way, although there's plainly plenty going on in Jade's head, so it's hard to tell. Hope she doesn't keep stringing him on, it gives me bad feeling about her intentions.
Oh, that's right-it's a STORY, it's supposed to make me wonder and worry like that! :D
PS: there are a couple of "floaters" in the doc- "Shimmy" at the end of one paragraph & "Watching" at the end of another
| chef diamond heart chapter 5 . 5/22/2012
What liberties? This is FIC, we get to invite the characters out to play ... :)
I felt terrible about Cinna's death while reading the books-didja have to make it that much more tragic? (Silly question, of course you did!)
Good to see the uncertainty and fear under the courage-which is what makes it all truly courageous, of course-when all Katniss saw was sureness and strength of purpose. Nice insights. Carmen
| angel eyes1 uk chapter 5 . 5/21/2012
Could she dye her skin even if it wasn't white? After all, I am a blonde now, and I was as close to black-haired as brown can get. :)
Maybe on the skin colour thing, keep it neutral (eg. Jade has brown hair) or don't give clues as to their natural colouring so those who've gone with dark-skinned Cinna don't have to change their mental image or get offended? Jade seems to be a mistress of disguise, changing regularly, so it could just be something that never comes up. Just saying as it seems to be a bit of an emotive subject in the fandom about the reaction to Rue and Cinna being black in the film and I wouldn't want you to have to deal with negativity.
I was a little confused still about Cinna not knowing about having a five-year-old son-maybe drop in a quick line at the very beginning to explain why. If he's had contact with Saia about the flaming fabric, wouldn't the matter of a son have come up in conversation? :)
| angel eyes1 uk chapter 4 . 5/9/2012
Can't wait to catch up with the next chapter waiting in my inbox, chick. Keep up the good work. x
| AdrienneGraves chapter 4 . 5/4/2012
I'm so glad you finally updated! Please keep writing, I really like this story!
| chef diamond heart chapter 4 . 5/3/2012
HA! The table talk is plainly the work of a woman who was at one time a fringe member of The Boys' Club (hmmm, wonder where that came from?)
Like how you tied details of Gale's old life & knowledge to what he's doing now, that adds authority to the character.
So, does Jade have some sort of techno-enhancement for attracting men? She seems to be wa-ay more than the "average" brainy beauty ... The guys sound like exotic birds strutting & displaying in mating season :)
Close range penetration *chortle* Carmen
| AdrienneGraves chapter 3 . 4/8/2012
Loved Gale's POV! And Jade is such a badass!
How long until Gale figures it out?
| chef diamond heart chapter 3 . 4/8/2012
This chapter has a more solid feel to it and it's good to be getting more background info; the Rebellion had to be more widespread than just the action surrounding Katniss, overthrowing a civilization is a big project!
The deets about Jade's past were very welcome (if ever there was a case for justifiable homicide-URK!), Looking forward to finding out more about her ... what a very deep game she plays.
Poor Gale seems destined to fall for women who aren't exactly emotionally available! C.
| Sara Elizabeth chapter 2 . 3/31/2012
Wow. This was HAWT! *fans self* I kinda want to be molested by Candis...or whoever she is. no doubt all will be revealed in time. It better be anyway! Love this so far, keep it coming. Pweas
| angel eyes1 uk chapter 2 . 3/29/2012
Sorry, I'm so slack! Just catching up with my inbox now my assignment is done.
Awesome Chapter One, babe. Love Gale having a little sexy time-and then bam!-Capitol girl goes all Bond Girl on his ass. And one sexy ass it is, too. Hello, Liam Hemsworth!
Hopefully I'll finish looking through your next chappie real soon, chick. Promise. *kissy face*