|Reviews for The Mortal Sentinel|
| Capricious-Cosmos chapter 29 . 7/23/2015
Okay, so the story was overall well-written. I like how the characters have such distinct personalities and are developed instead of derailed. I also like how you added tidbits of parts that weren't included in the game but you managed to include it in such a natural way. The story also showed a great skill in truly showing the emotions the characters felt without going OOC. Sometimes authors are undecided or don't get a good feel of their characters, so that was refreshing.
Now for criticisms. Though the story was great, the pace felt somewhat rushed. I'm not saying you should've wrote 60 chapters, but I would think it would take a little more time to develop these things, right? The battle scenes seem bland and kind of play out the same, it seems as though the characters won a bit too easily. I think it would feel more real if you had put a little more description into the battle or make it seem more challenging. There is no such thing as a perfect story, but these are just some tips.
Besides that, I think you did a wonderful job. Dragon Quest is a great series and I think this story did it justice. :)
| SuperDarkbolt chapter 29 . 12/26/2014
Beautiful tale, I can't find any words to describe it, Dragon Quest and Final Fantasy have always had incredible endings, I hope your next story is as good as this one!
| SuperDarkbolt chapter 17 . 12/23/2014
I really like your charecter development
| SuperDarkbolt chapter 12 . 12/21/2014
Still prety good, your charecters are remarkable, but I think you rushed the time too much, 16 days, really? Also your battle scenes are not very realistic
But I'm looking forward to the end, (I still haven't gotten past Corvus)
| SuperDarkbolt chapter 5 . 12/21/2014
Finally, someone who has written a good Dragon Quest fanfiction! So far that makes three...
You've done an excellent job so far, though you did make one mistake: It's dame, not dam, just one spelling mistake, color me impressed, I myself make many more than that. Beautiful story
| nightwriter212 chapter 16 . 6/8/2014
I love ur dragon quest 9 stories. their great !
| boaflower664 chapter 1 . 1/18/2014
| CreationMagician chapter 29 . 10/30/2013
Firstly I cannot believe I read this in all one day! :O second I was squealing in delight nearly every chapter since Connor and Zera were together! This easily makes my top 5 favourite stories! I was so surprised when Connor asked Zera to marry him I was so friggen happy :D This is so strange because Zera sounds like my name Sarah and I know a guy called Connor *le gasp* it was ment to be! Haha! Awww and i thought it was so cute when I read that the names of the children were Corvus and Aquila! I thought that this story wouldnt actually make it to the Corvus end fight.
| Daisy-Ree chapter 29 . 9/17/2013
YOU ARE TOO CRUEL D:
HOW CAN YOU END THE STORY?
| DuskWolf chapter 1 . 7/11/2013
Very detailed! 3
| Noma9 chapter 3 . 6/26/2013
Awwwww man. There is no way for Coffinwell not to be horribly depressing, is there? Good chapter though, I like that dramatic ending.
| Noma9 chapter 2 . 6/25/2013
Connor has family in Coffinwell? I feel a depressing plot point coming up! Also, I'm really digging your characterization of the hero and her companions, even Aquila. Good job.
| mimi chapter 1 . 3/24/2013
hi. i read the entire mortal sentinel story and i really liked it and i kind want to read more from you. please keep writing stories! :D
| mimi chapter 29 . 2/16/2013
sweet! you finished!
| ReaperNunnally chapter 1 . 2/13/2013