|Reviews for Put a wand against my head|
| LanternLover23 chapter 1 . 3/15
This is so sad I cried anime tears (T_T) at the end
| BeautifulDesertFoxglove chapter 1 . 10/7/2013
Well, I never did like the Potters, or most of the Weasleys, so I love your fic. It's nice and tragic too,
| Hawki chapter 1 . 5/9/2012
-I guess I could say that the Weasleys and Potters are OOC and go on some kind of fanboy rant, but the fact remains that much of their personalities are unknown-even more so for Scorpius. So while this isn't a story I'd expect, it certainly deserves kudos for originality.
-"Rose saw herself as a guardian angel against 'Malfoy bullying and bigotry'."
Single line, but a very effective one. Hypocrisy can certainly play a role in bullying in the sense that bullies so often don't realize that they actually are bullies.
-And James takes after his grandfather, while Scorpius ends up like Snape. Gryffindor at its finest then.
-It's harder to comment on Dominique, Lucy and Louis in that we know even less about them then the others. I'm kind of inclined to say that it's pushing the bar a bit much, in that we have ALL these characters essentially being jerks whereas the jerks of the previous generation (Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle, etc.) were not only more limited in number, but in the same year as well. Still, in the spirit of "kick 'em when they're down," I can also see that this serves the story well in a sense, in that Scorpius can't catch a break.
-Scorpius’s mother dying of cancer…
King of off-topic, but this did catch my attention. On average, wizards/witches seem to have a longer lifespan than Muggles, at least using characters such as Dumbledore or McGonagall as examples. Cancer becomes more likely as one ages, and while this strikes me as a throwaway line, I think there’s an air of tragedy to this, that apparently not even magic can beat such a malignancy.
-Scorpius is in Hufflepuff? Horror! What will the Malfoy’s think? How will the noble and pure blood of the Malfoy line…
…yeah, this is me being a smartarse. Like the touch of him NOT being in Slytherin. Nothing against the house, but as this is essentially a reversal of fortunes story, I think this adds to that feeling.
-“Do you even think that anyone likes you ever exist in this world?”
Think this is grammatically incorrect. Should it be “could ever” exist, or “could exist?”
-“The other Hufflepuff's had never…”
Need to cut out the apostrophe.
-The ending of the story is a mixed bag. On one hand, it has a certain intensity and tragedy to it, that not only has Scorpius chosen to commit suicide, but it’s something that’s tragically happened a few times in bullying, and those are only the cases that we know of. On the other, it feels rushed. The writing feels a bit too much like a summary and the line at the end feels strange in that the speech marks indicate it’s actually being spoken, yet by whom is another matter.
-All in all, this was a very good oneshot. It’s a 180 that I think is done well, made all the more so in that while the term 180 can apply to it, “what if?” is equally appropriate. Also something to note is the grammar. I’ve factored in dates in my ‘to review’ process, trying to go for things an author has written more recently. Hard to say how much this applies, but assuming that this is distinct from other pieces of yours I’ve read in the past, I’ve got to say that the spelling and grammar has very much improved, along with the quality of the writing. Think you’ve definitely got better as an author.
| my insides are blue chapter 1 . 3/26/2012
Omg, Yellow, you are so cruel! You made Scorpius die! He can't die! He's so amazing, he can't!
Ugh. You're making me want to cry with this.
It was just so good! I loved it! Even though this was so different than my head cannon, I did. Scorpius never struck me as the one to be bullied, and also to be a Hufflepuff. But I felt so sorry for him, and I really hated the Weasley kids here, which I've never felt. I like your writing as well. It's very neat and straightforward, and I like that about it.
The most amazing thing about this is the message that you conveyed here. Bullying is so common nowadays and such a cruel thing. I think you did a superb job writing this.
Hats off to you! Brilliant! :)
| Laura Scofield chapter 1 . 3/10/2012
Very moving, I admit I didn't expect Scorpius to jump and was surprised, but this sort of cruel and relentless bullying happens all the time and so it was brave of you to tackle a situation where a person just cannot cope with it anymore. I think you dealt with the issue sensitively, and yet at the same time impactingly.
| Nik chapter 1 . 3/10/2012
Wow, really beautiful and raw.