|Reviews for A meandering path|
| Cherie R. Lynn chapter 1 . 3/11/2012
First of all, you've written Lani and Ruby beautifully without making either of them seem out-of-character. This is usually difficult to accomplish since both characters are minor characters and have no scenes together in the game. Their interaction was seamless in this story, and none of the dialogue seemed out of place.
Secondly, you've nailed the atmosphere and setting of Final Fantasy IX. While this doesn't seem like much of an accomplishment, it is. Many people forgo detailed descriptions since Final Fantasy IX doesn't address certain aspects of places, so it was refreshing to read a story that makes the world of Gaia seem like an actual place, not just a game.
Finally, the plot seems interesting, though since this is the first chapter, I really can't judge it all that much. You've definitely piqued my interest, so there's that.
While this story is rather well-written, I've noticed an issue with the lack of commas and punctuation that really detract from the writing. It can be easily overlooked, but since this story is written with such great quality and promise, I think you should work on it. Especially when you're writing dialogue, which is very essential to your story.
Great job, overall. I look forward to future chapters, and once again, welcome back!