|Reviews for Daisy Melark Hawthorne, My story|
| Anonymous chapter 7 . 11/7/2014
I'm sorry, but I think this story was rushed. My advice is to add more detail. :)
| Lyssindra chapter 6 . 5/12/2012
Good story. Update soon! :)
| daSanTiWonders chapter 5 . 3/17/2012
I can see a desire in your writing MiaMelibne, never lose that and always strive to reach whatever dreams you may have and they will come to you!
That was a nice POV .
| daSanTiWonders chapter 4 . 3/17/2012
Good chapter MiaMelibne.
| daSanTiWonders chapter 2 . 3/17/2012
Can't wait to meet Hannah (-:
| daSanTiWonders chapter 1 . 3/17/2012
A few mistakes here and there, but I never look upon such petty things as that. I think this story could be something interesting. Good job.
| Ellenka chapter 5 . 3/17/2012
Hazelle was sweet :) And I'm still curious about Katniss and Peeta :)
Hmm, but if you are taking this seriously, you really should decide whether you are writing in the present or the past tense. The constant skips aren't helping.
Oh, and typos. E. g., one of the most important sentences:
"Mom I meet someone in district 2 and we fill in love"
I believe you meant:
"Mom I met someone in District 2 and we fell in love."
Also, I don't know if you are following the canon timeline, but if you were, Gale would be 35 years older than Daisy. And even if you weren't and presumed that Peeta and Katniss had a kid right after the revolution, he would be 20 years older. Of course, love knows no age limits and this situation is neither impossible nor implausible (and I bet Gale would still be super-hot at 50, no problem, LOL). But either way, I don't think Hazelle would treat him like a baby boy :)
| Iloveu chapter 3 . 3/11/2012
| Ellenka chapter 3 . 3/11/2012
Hmm, interesting idea. Picturing Katniss's reaction to all of this is what keeps me going :D
But a little proofreading wouldn't hurt - there are frequent unnecessary jumps between tenses, misplaced apostrophes and caps and missing S-es in the third person and such pesky little mistakes. And maybe consider adding some details and descriptions to make it interesting. Also, unless you changed it on purpose, the name Mellark has a double L. :)