|Reviews for Symbiosis|
| Guest chapter 4 . 7/29/2017
I feel sorry for Ash not being able to speak properly... He sounds like a stereotypical asian guy trying to speak a language on the day he arrives to a foreign country. Which would be, I suppose, Ash's case.
| Guest chapter 27 . 7/13/2017
At this point I actually want Jessie, James and meowth to join Ash(Aaron). Their personalities are explained reasonably and with evidence unrevealed so far.
| MegaMindAuthor chapter 1 . 7/11/2017
Fics like this, that bring realisim, the dark side of the pokemon world are enjoyable. This chapter is pretty much heart constricting.
| DracoArtemisLeopin chapter 39 . 7/9/2017
Hey, this story is pretty well-written and I hope that you finish it, but I think I'm gonna have to cut out. If I'm to be honest, the previous arc was my breaking point. Given the darker, grittier Pokemon world that you've set up, the murders between Jena and Thomas' parents were tolerable, but the others just felt like cruelty to your characters, Thomas especially. All in all, you've pretty much turned Ash into an Angel of Death, and I just can't take it anymore. At least the Safari Zone arc had a final death scene that both fit and was a noble sacrifice, but Krieg is almost as bad as Kirei Kotomine, and he doesn't even have the excuse of being a 'Magnificent Bastard.' (look it up) Chiyoko and Jessiebell's deaths in particular seemed unnecessary. Especially since they came not ten minutes after they finally reconciled. To be blunt, I'm willing to search through dark stories for the spots of light that refuse to be extinguished, but this is just too much. Good luck.
| Slenderbrine chapter 1 . 6/14/2017
ARE YOU UNDECEASED
| 125berribe chapter 35 . 6/13/2017
| Mariena D' Alonna chapter 41 . 6/12/2017
I just discovered this story about two days ago and I have been absolutely HOOKED! Although parts of it is gory and violent, I think the fact that you wrote it with themes of death and tragedy makes it so real. It connected Pokémon to older audiences who realize that not everything can be rainbows and butterflies-people die! This story closes so many gaps from the anime about the impact of major criminal organizations such as team rocket and it portrays everything more...realistically. All in all, I'm absolutely in love with this story and I am eager for Symbiotic to come out. No pressure obviously bc this story has already gone onto 41 chapters (that's a LOT and you started in 2012). I know everyone has their priorities in life so if other reviewers are giving you grief about not updating ASAP, ignore 'em. PS: wise cracking pikachu is my favorite character haha.
| SCythErk chapter 41 . 6/3/2017
Thanks for sharing this story with us and for the effort you've put in over the years! I've been following it for several years now (although I don't have a ffn account), and I really do love the world, characterizations, and storyline you've built here. I suppose I can wait a few more years for a rewrite. I'll look forward to it. If possible, could you post a notice here whenever you get it up please? Thanks again!
| fireice.ld chapter 1 . 5/28/2017
Can you post an alert here when you start the rewrite please
| Blitza chapter 41 . 5/11/2017
even unfinished, this was a joy to read. thank you for your effort.
| CoGDork chapter 41 . 5/8/2017
Seriously? And here I thought I was self-deprecating about my writing! This story is truly amazing, and I would have zero issue with it going on as is. That said, if you're thinking of a rewrite, here are some suggestions:
1.) I feel like you didn't show much of a genuine relationship between Poison Lance and Ash early on. Even though he remembers his parents, I find it hard to believe a child as young as he was wouldn't at least have some child-and-parent bond with PL. You got some of that from the latter's perspective, but only hints, and while Ash definitely showed gratitude I think the story could benefit from him displaying more signs of seeing him as a surrogate father before sending him off on the journey.
2.) Brock and Misty seemed a bit oblivious at times to Ash's secrets to a point where it seemed almost OOC for people as smart as them. I think they'd at least notice SOMETHING was off about him and he was keeping SOMETHING important from them. That could easily work into a good bit of drama over their concern for their friend and what he might be keeping from them and why. It would also give Ash more reason to consider the problem of telling them vs. keeping them in the dark, and I felt like it took way too long for that to start becoming an issue with them.
Those are the only two genuine problems I had with this fic. Aside from that, I thought it was great, though I admit I only discovered it yesterday and finished it today (I'm a fast reader).
| Ondine de la Mer chapter 41 . 4/9/2017
Actually, I think you've done a fairly good job with Symbiosis. I like the characterization, you've some interesting ideas, and on you've done a good job with the overarching plot. Your characters felt realistic, and I liked how dynamic they were, with the situations they got themselves into developing and changing their characters. Plus, your action scenes are da bomb. Clearly, quite a bit of planning went into this. I recommend trying to connect the individual arcs with more cause and effect, and not to abandon overarching themes such as growing up, dealing with death and tragedy, duty, bravery vs. stupidity, the impact of historical attitudes and events on the present, ect. I also would like to see a little more thought put into the organization of Team Rocket, the other teams, and the league, even if you don't end up actually using all of it in the story. It would also be interesting to learn more about how "the crazies" operate as part of a larger orgabization, how meowth avoids experimentation/teaching/being taken away for the reasons listed in the kangaskhan arc beyond "well he's a pokemon so it's not the same thing." Also, try to give the movements of Jessie and James seem less random, if you can. I totally understand the need to go back and edit your work, now that you're more experienced as a writer. I would recommend that you make this, as a whole, a little more cohesive and streamlined, as you said. I think that you might want to go into some topics that you originally sort of ignored, and maybe cut out some fluff. As for training... I like these scenes because it gives readers the feeling that characters are making progress. Without mentions of training, the ability of characters to fight can seem a little stagnant, and that's a shame. Development and progress, wether emotional, physical, ect. is a key element of storywriting. It doesn't even have to be the characters themselves; if characters stay the same but are shown reacting differently in situations that expand upon their characters, that's good enough. As a writer, you do this pretty well, so while a little clue about how pokemon are training, markers of progress, ect. would be nice, it's not actually as necessary because enough progress is made emotionally by characters that the story remains interesting. Anyways, good luck with your re-write, and I look forward to reading what you come up with.
| The Russian Bear chapter 41 . 4/2/2017
This world you've build is f*cking awesome! The characters are great and I guess the violence is... necessary. Everything odd about the Pokemon universe is explained and many moral issues are addressed.
I only dislike that it took you five years to get through the Kanto Arcs. I guess it's not surprising that it took so long, given the level of detail you put into this. 350k words is EPIC.
Perhaps for the rewrite you could make it a bit more fast-paced. It would be difficult to write all of the cartoon series at or near this pace. Or, you could diverge from cannon early on and give Ash a different goal. Something he could do in Kanto that would take less time. You mentioned earlier that you would make the rewrite slimmer, so perhaps you were already going to do one of these. Anyways, it's just some food for thought.
| Guest chapter 9 . 3/29/2017
And the award for sassiest pokemon team goes to... Pikachu's team!
Love the story, the banter is fun, and I feel really engaged. The pacing of everything is wonderful too. Ash isn't pokemon master incarnate, nor is he too reckless. He may be a clueless klutz, but he's not an idiot. Good job, and thank you.
| ingol chapter 41 . 3/25/2017
Don't worry, it's fine! I'll keep waiting until the new revised story is released! :)