Overall, I like the tone set by killing Shepard, but I gotta say it feels like a wasted character. They still affect the story at large, but at the same time, it would've been even more interesting to see the interactions she could've caused in the story. I also feel like it could've alienated a large portion of your reader base by setting a somewhat bleak tone and killing a (somewhat) beloved character in what seemed like completely anti-climatic death.

So I’ve just been reading through the earliest chapters of this, and I’ve gotta say: I love ho you laid down a lot of the initial narrative threads that are only paying out now in those first chapters. Bravo

I was not prepared for today.

Okay, so that ending made me cry.

Din’t think I don’t appreciate what you did there, because I did.
The SERPENT rifle being one of the things to kill the ANGELS permanently, very nicely done.

you know I really love this story I really do. it's just like I said in an earlier review, there's so much going on it's pretty much impossible to know what's going on. I like some intrigue and mystery but this fic is crammed full of so many half explained arcs and backstories it's more than a little overwhelming. and then there's scenes where the writing makes little sense to draw suspense/mystery/horror and it's hard to pin down facts. you do a fair amount of exposition which is nice it's just there's so much about the tools in the story that create chaos and make things hard to process. I'm still reading, obviously but things could stand to be a mite more comprehensible

I swear everything is complicated a million times over it's almost impossible to keep track of everything

that's not how aria got power dammit this whole chapter I was like oh well so what sooner or later a krogan will take over and kill the jester and then aria but no apparently the jester is aria which doesn't make a lick of damn sense to me and now I surely want her dead

you really just gonna offhandedly say that Jack takes out 100 mechs and 40 enemy personnel? That's kinda crazy

I thought you need the chip or whatever to get sucked in the dream worlds. how did elsa get sucked in

hein making fun of sexually traumatized asari is not cool

and they're working with Cerberus jesus christ dude

oh god I'm getting urahara vibes from hein in the misguided trying to do good way

so Far Hein is proving to be a Light counterpart to the Illusive Man and that is not a good thing

ngl Rudy's completely right about the restaurant bus yeah he's a fake but what makes a fake worse the the original? they really shouldn't have jurisdiction over shutting down restaurants like that and it's as big a deal as someone selling overpriced cars