|Reviews for A Dragon in Shining Armour|
| TheCrazyAnimeFan01 chapter 42 . 3/10
I just want to say that this was a very enjoyable read. I haven't really read much fanfiction that is solely focused on digimon but I'm glad that I read this one. Can't wait to read the sequal :)
| GrotesqueChimera chapter 14 . 2/24
wonder what happen with omegamon and alphamon
| datsonyat chapter 12 . 11/16/2016
CAN'T STOP ME NOW (i'm impressed at how many i've put out in 24 hours, aw yeeeah)
ahgjdg the dynamic between OuRyuumon, Omegamon, and Alphamon is so good. They're such an entertaining trio and play off each other so well.
Ooo, I like your take on psychic digimon here! The line between truth and fiction would be very difficult what with the posers, and really, the psychics that are embellishing their own tales? Eesh. I can't blame their skepticism.
You set the atmosphere with Baronmon very nicely. "Curios" is a great word and I think you're the first I've seen use it. I keep chuckling and OuRyuumon's intentional and unintentional antics.
The way Baronmon described his vision gave me chills. I don't know if it's because I already know or that your prose was absolutely excellent, prob a combo of both there. Just wow, I could feel how terribly unsettling that was for Baronmon to even recall.
...Body... lotion... OuRyuumon, are you asking for a... /specific/ purpose...? Their reaction to the potion, pfft, oh y'all were asking for it. But really, Omegamon for unintentional cockblocker 2k16.
oh noooo Alphamon even gets a warning from someone else about hurting Omegamon. Nooooo, this set-up, it physically pains my heart. This beautiful trio is about to be smashed right before my eyes. ;;
I'm constantly impressed at how well you do domestic scenes. I don't usually have a lot to say about them unless something really sticks out, but they're perfect in the way of transitioning from one scene to the next while allowing the reader to view how the characters would usually act in a calm/laid-back environment where they don't have to worry about other RKs and worrying situations. It builds more of their relationships between each other and provides more insight as to why their dynamic is so engaging and fun to read (ie, their jokes, good-natured teasing, their comfort with each other). So while it's hard for me to put into words what I like about them so much, they're definitely welcome and necessary. I think I'm gonna revisit this point in a future scene when I can hopefully put it into better words. An addition: I don't think my lenny face worked, so let's go with the George Takei OuRyuumon, oh myyy. He continues the public trend. What a guy he is. [insert dramatic eyebrow gestures]
I'll preface this by saying I've never actively reviewed a love scene. Alright, let's see how I do. I will compliment your prose again because it perfectly captures both the loving and sensual aspects of it. I find it impressive when an author can write lovemaking without resorting to the usual M-rated words (of which I have no problem with and can appreciate!). I find it adds to the intimacy, almost shows that it's more than just sex. Very weird addition: I find myself fixated on OuRyuumon's use of "Royal Knight" during sex. I don't really know WHY, it just stuck out at me and seemed so in-character for him. x) Overall, for the short scene it was, I think you nailed it—pls absolve me of my unintentional pun—and would read more like this in the future!
Oh here's the cringe, like Alphamon, bro, oh man, oh god, oh man. For one, rude af to your lover and two, it's a baaad cover-up. Alphamon... /head in hands aghgh. I can't even laugh at the ridiculousness of what's going on because it's literally his worst fear, plus the disrespect to OuRyuumon, and the hurt from Omegamon. ): Ah man, like I love Alphamon and OuRyuumon's dialogue after the fact; their conversation is executed extremely well and important—it covers issues that need to be talked about—but MY HEART.
Omegamon my precious darling, awww nooo. ;; Normally I am not one to be a fan of the "eavesdropping but leaves before hearing the whole convo" cliche, however you write it so well and it's very emotionally charged. Omegamon has more than enough reason to leave. I don't blame him, I wouldn't want to hear more of that kind of thing from what I thought was my best friend either. Augh, the sorrow is painfully tangible.
Tfw I forgot Omegamon confessed he knows to Alphamon. I'm sitting here with a painful expression and a semi-dropped jaw. I feel /so/ bad for them. I'm fairly speechless, tbh. The gravity of what both did and the pain they caused each other is so powerful. Phenomenon writing indeed.
| datsonyat chapter 11 . 11/16/2016
The image of Alphamon stretching his wings is honestly a v cute sight I was not expecting?
My first reaction was "BanchoLeomon, you are so dumb." It just proves the stupidity of some all the more; any sane digimon should probably be like UH YEAH NOPE BYE when faced with Alphamon and Omegamon. Omg, I'm laughing at Alphamon and OuRyuumon's total trolling. Loving the "new" way you wrote the fight scene here due to OuRyuumon's unique body. Thank you, THANK YOU for giving Omegamon hands! Every time I see this poor soul with weapons for hands without the ability to remove them I'm just... poor Omegamon, lol. Suffice to say, I really like that you took that route. Eee, Alphamon using his power to sanitize river water! So cool! Your details continue to amaze and impress me.
OuRyuumon, oh my. ( ͡ ͜ʖ ͡) (if my lenny face didn't work, at least you know my intention, hee) Aw, I love how you write intimacy and the issues these two deal with. It seems during my time away, OuRyuumon really grew on me? o: What is this magic? I'm finding him a lot cuter and more sympathetic. Agh, I understand how both of them feel. D: Ouch, the word "normal" tho... It's very intriguing that you explore sexuality in this story as well. The whole conversation strikes me as a very real one a couple would have IRL while still maintaining elements of your Digital World.
Some great worldbuilding going on in the conversation with Unimon. You flesh out your world so naturally.
LMFAO OMEGAMON. Simultaneously such a hilarious but dark thought regarding OuRyuumon and his potential shenanigans over him signing up an unwilling Omegamon. Oh my goddd, that line was pure gold. (I try not to spoil too hard for newcomer review readers.)
Pls, I can't handle much more, the inn, jfc. Alphamon and Omegamon's reactions, and Alphamon feeling like a perv about it. I'm CRYING, ahahaha!
THE FEELS, NO, oh Alphamon nooo precious darling. ;; don't hurt poor omega, he is ur friend, he loves you man. Bracing myself for incoming.
| datsonyat chapter 10 . 11/16/2016
It's nice that you continue describing Dusk Forest despite us having a pretty good idea what it's already like. Our heroes are newcomers here and your description is equally new. I love that nothing is repeated and you paint a new picture, or rather build on the one that's been in my head from last chapter.
Oooh, love that build up with Examon loading new ammunition with a small hint as to what it might do. Whatever it is, my first thought was that it would attempt to compensate for his maneuverability issues. This is so small and potentially strange to bring up, but I love your use of the word satisfying for reloading ammo. Maybe I've played too many video games, lol, because I found it equally as satisfying and could hear what you intended in my head.
More small details, YES! Examon comes across as a guy who generally understands people, yet here you drop that he's not very skilled in reading others in general, which is super interesting!
And our heroes find a piece of the larger overarching plot. When I originally read it, I wondered if it would be a larger piece of the plot or self-contained to these episodes. Looking back, it's really neat how you did the self-contained eps but had them relate to the overall plot. Good stuff.
Ahh, and it's flares which are more useful to both! (omg forgive my poor memory) I think it highlights that Examon is very willing to be a team-player and will do what's best for everyone involved overall. As usual, though, I like to read too much into things, aha...
Craniamon, pls, as much as I love reading your fight scenes, Learn the positives of being a team-player like Examon. Jeez, is he ever confident to a fault. Seriously, Examon just saved him from either a grievous wound or possibly even death and he's just mad. I don't know if I can agree with him in part two; Examon's more or less got him pegged as caring more about being a perfect warrior at the moment. Craniamon hasn't exactly done anything to make me see otherwise yet. I really can't see his working with Examon as an acceptable concession to prove contrary. Sorry, Crania, you lost me this round.
Wait, did you just get him back on my good side within sentences? OMG GRIFF. xD Reverting back to my review as I go style managed to shoot me in the foot, ahahaha. Okay, so progress with Craniamon in that he's not as unreasonable once the heat of the moment has died down. I am glad to see her cooler, rational mindset take charge.
Examon, what a pure soul you are. ;; He's such a role model. Craniamon would have deserved it too. Ahhh I love when characters take the high ground, esp 'cause these two need to work together now and for the foreseeable future. I have to suspect that maybe Examon is teaching Craniamon some sort of humility through this? (TBH I AM PROB OVERTHINKING EVERYTHING)
hghggh oh jeez oh jeez the feels, they come with the RK rule of not leaving another behind! LET CRANIAMON'S ICY HEART BE MELTED
I mean, I know the trap wasn't meant to be funny, but you got a snort out of me from the image alone. Oh yikes, I know the pain Craniamon is feeling. Don't like to admit it, but I understand far more than I wish I did. 8( I enjoyed the pieces of backstory we got for both here. It's a puzzle slowly coming together and I love how you give us tidbits here and there while a big picture is building. Like I wasn't expecting the eventual reveal about Examon's past to be so... what it /was/. This def helped build it up to that without giving away too much and taking away the emotion and shock of it.
Yesss, they come to an understanding, even if it doesn't mean automatic friendship or incredible respect. HAPPY DAYS, TEAMWORK AT LAST! I don't really wanna admit my physical, loud reaction to it in detail, looool. Just know it paid off very nicely! The way you write tension being resolved and the characters coming to a place where they can better understand each other and move on from there is very cathartic.
DUKEMON U SLY FELLOW. Haha, I love him so much.
(ps it seems this was the first chapter i reviewed so i had to go anon. my despair when it told me i couldn't leave a review it took me an hour to write was hilarious)
| datsonyat chapter 9 . 11/15/2016
Um, long time no see. At least the quest continues?
The way you build atmosphere is amazing (how often will I overuse this word by the end? A drinking game based on this would actually kill someone), combining the scenery with the character's growing nervousness about being in such a place. Tankdramon didn't /need/ to be speaking to himself, we could have just as easily listened to his thoughts, but wow did you ever give it a purpose with a few very clever lines and did it ever increase how unsettling the scene was. Your prose here was excellent, especially the "like candles flickering in the wind" line. It was really beautiful and instantly had me picturing the exact scene in my head.
Oh, action scenes, my old nemesis, how shall I adequately review you? As usual, you're truly excellent at choreographing battles while keeping them realistically paced and entertaining for the reader. I must admit, I wasn't sure who was going to win when I first read this chapter. I found myself grinning at Craniamon's characterization and confidence in his skills. It served the extra purpose of framing just how brilliant Examon is and in turn enhancing his character. Nicely done. Poor form at the end there, though, Craniamon... but a great way to open an avenue for character growth and bonding—or at the least, coming to a grudging understanding with a certain someone/few others... Aw, and you know by now I'm a sucker for characters with perfectionism issues.
Rhodo's actions are now ten times funnier to me after rereading the extras of the Xros Wars manga, where he's described as "a little bit of a pervert." So amused! Yay, it's been awhile since I've been able to read about (most of) the gang together again!
Hmm, have I complimented your mission briefings before? It's short enough that it doesn't slow the story but filled with enough details so we know exactly what's going through the RKs' heads in terms of planning and how best to approach the situation. It's not overly wordy or filled with military talk someone like me might not understand. Again, you strike a great balance!
Yesss, the unlikely partnership begins. The awkwardness, the tension, eeee. When Examon said fair enough, I found myself agreeing with him, but still of the mind that Craniamon wasn't appearing at his best. I believe I've said before that Examon owned his mistake and is willing to do what it takes to make up for it, though that obviously hasn't sunk in with some characters, namely Craniamon in this chapter. Yep, I'm waffling again and can't really decide if I'd straight-up place Craniamon in a position where he's entirely unreasonable. I can see things from his perspective, and while not everything he's saying/doing is justified beyond a shadow of a doubt, there is still logical reason for him to feel that way (personal grudges aside for a moment). You're tearing me apart with how relatable everyone is!
Pffthaha, loved the line about Wizardmon feeling like he's on trial with Craniamon anyway. :') That single line endeared him to me.
And the chapter ends on a pretty ominous note. I love how you describe Dusk Forest! What a great setting. Man, if this is still your unedited version, I feel like I'm going to be really blown away by your improvement as I go through both fics. It was already so lovely to begin with.
| ejay chapter 42 . 9/2/2016
i know this is really but i'm glad i got the chance to read such a great story and will be happily reading your sequel soon. on an unrelated note alphamon and yuri lowell vs. omegamon zwarts and estle. someone make it happen.
| datsonyat chapter 8 . 7/8/2016
...I would read about Rhodo directing a RK spa day as well. Just saying. :'D
Even with the humour you included, the tension was palpable among everyone for various reasons. You presented Sleipmon and Examon's sides very well. I can see both perspectives and neither feels particularly wrong, just different. Again, great build-up here for future conversations and paving the way to truly understanding one another. I can sympathize with them, because I've had a friendship similar to this where our views were similar but didn't quite align, and it can cause a sad, tiring friction. (I mean, I know the outcome obviously, but I like commenting in the now.)
Was the "I, Dukemon" a throwback to the way he talks in the Japanese material? x) Either way, you got a chuckle out of me. Oh man, I really feel for him in this chapter, though. He has so much going on between the UDC mission wrap-up, being acting leader, having his leadership rather rudely /questioned/, and his own personal stuff. D: While he's still such a strong character, it makes me appreciate Grani and the way you've written him more. I'm glad he's there for Dukemon. Poor Examon too, with feeling like he's let down two of his closest mentors/friends at the moment. 8( Ergh, I empathize with the poor guy—AND holy crap dude you have me so invested in fictional characters I'm treating them like real people and feeling awkward for having a running commentary on their private lives! xD
Low-key worldbuilding and explanations from the characters without it feeling forced for the sake of the readers. Good stuff.
Magnamon is such a caring friend. Oh Dukemon ;; my poor bro, it's gonna be okay. The way you write such genuine friendship strikes deep. All aboard the feels train; next stop? Why, there is no next stop in this fic.
I have such a bias for Duftmon, but hell has he ever been pushing it this chapter. He gets what he deserves pretty hardcore here, to be frank. To give you an idea of how well-written this was, the first time I read it I was so shocked I'm fairly sure I exclaimed "Ooooh shit!" out loud. You're able to get physical reactions out of me, and this one didn't disappoint. I was cringing and had a hand over my mouth, and just /wow/. All of those snide jabs and rising tensions came to a pretty jarring blow-up. I felt so awkward and bad for everyone involved. It might've carried less weight had that not happened in a public area, but wooow you conveyed how awful that was to happen at all, but especially publicly very well. Reading that again leaves me speechless with some deep-seated discomfort and /poor Dukemon/, my god. That top three of characters I want to see grow? Yeah, Duftmon, you're there. Eesh. Phenomenal writing, though, don't get me wrong!
Ahh, the talk we've all been waiting for. Examon ;; I don't comment on him enough, tbh. His good qualities make him such a fantastic main character. He's just so real and /present/ and it's so obvious in the way he speaks earnestly to Dukemon.
The way Dukemon talks about the Digital Hazard hits really hard. His pain and shame—maybe even horror—are so evident in his words. Reading his confession, of him not knowing whether or not his personality is due to that, oh man, it makes me feel for him so hard. It hurt to read. I hope over the course of this story, if not the next, he can find some degree of peace regarding this. And the way Examon affirms and comforts him? Stop it (except don't), you weren't supposed to make my eyes water yet, least of all on a second read. Possibly sappy and corny as hell, but it makes me so glad someone can write about such deep and honest acceptance and friendship and not judging someone based on a single aspect of themselves. I know these are characters and not real people, but damn if you don't have me caring about them like they are.
The ending of the chapter is perfect. It ties up so nicely and leaves me feeling anticipation and hope. I can't remember if I've said it, but thank you for writing this and continuing to share it with us.
| datsonyat chapter 1 . 7/7/2016
Oh man, now you're making me log out to review your new content? :p I'll keep it pretty short: I really like your edits and what you're adding to them. I'm forever a sucker for more vivid description. You could go more purple prose-y if you wanted to and I'd gladly take it in. I think you've given a clearer picture of Alphamon and Omegamon's characters while still maintaining that mysterious aura and allure to keep reading.
Do you have any kind of ETA and number of chapters you'll be overhauling, so I have an idea of when to continue the review quest? Any preference for me reviewing the old version or would it suit you for me to wait on the new one?
| datsonyat chapter 7 . 7/7/2016
Another thing I've noticed is that you have really good chapter openings. They feel like episodes, which I find rather neat in writing.
I was wondering if their armour was a permanent thing or if you'd address it and you didn't disappoint. Now I'm gonna be stuck trying to imagine everyone in casual clothes. x) The tidbits about Dukemon's appearance made me even more curious about your full visions of them. I do really like that he's obviously not quite as humanoid as some fanart portrays him from your description.
I really like Grani's personality and his friendship with Dukemon. Am I sensing a very interesting story behind their first meeting? It feels like it. I hope I get to read about it further in. There's never a chapter where you aren't giving me warm feels. Grani was just introduced and can already incite that. I have to say this story is one of the most emotionally-charged fics I've ever read. I enjoy the balance you strike with the variety and depth of emotions, but especially love that I can smile and laugh at least once a chapter.
...And speaking of, OMG THE RULER LINE. I am choking, I am DYING. Rhodo's way of keeping them in line is genius and just, I am laughing my ass off. Yeah, I shouldn't drink while reading clearly. xD Honestly, I would have been down for a beach day. The shenanigans alone... Also, nice to see Craniamon does have a bit of humour in him.
Into the fire they go! Good to see all the RKs on the same page for this.
Anubismon, despite his moment of regret for dragging his brother into it—erghh nice set-up to break my heart over bad guys D:—has no intention of backing down, even in the face of what some would call overwhelming odds. His plan sounds solid, but we're also hearing it from his perspective. He's not in a place to have doubts, but the end of last chapter really cemented for me that he probably doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell. Madman or arrogance, indeed.
OH YES, the fight is on! Freaking epic entrance; it really made your skill in well-paced action scenes shine extra bright. The way you streamlined each Knight's addition to the fight was so awesome. I loved how Sleipmon's opponent addressed his aim; it's small but it's such an important detail to give the readers. It speaks volumes that even in fight scenes you're character-building. You will always have two vigorous thumbs up from me.
The imagery in your action scenes becomes more and more vivid as the chapters go on without slowing them down still. Really impressive and enjoyable! I wanna mention the ice explosions, because /ice explosions/ and the way you described them were cool as hell (in hindsight, pun not intended, but whatever, it stays lol).
I will probably mention it frequently that I love how everyone fights with /intelligence/. There's always some kind of strategy in play by both the RKs and the villains and it's /amazing/. The amount of thought and detail you put into your fights is just fantastic. It's clear you put a lot of effort into making everything work and flow smoothly. Grani and Dukemon's maneuvers, Examon's ammo, and BlackMetalGarurumon's tactics plus running with the smokescreen and using it to his (dis)advantage were my favourites in this particular battle.
Yep, and there it is, their inevitable end. It hit me decently hard the first time reading it, however going through the chapters again, I just feel that Anubismon was such a greedy fool and he lead himself to his own destruction. :l It's definitely a disheartening and sad moment, and you did get some genuine sorrow out of my the first go-around because the scene is undoubtedly visceral and painful, but now it's more of a... tired, hollow sad, if you get me. It never needed to happen, but greed and arrogance are powerful and are not bound by logic.
A somber ending to another great chapter.
| datsonyat chapter 6 . 7/4/2016
Oh good god, I love how something as mundane as dinner is still rife with hilarity. I'm constantly thinking SHOTS FIRED and then the other party returns it nonchalantly, and I'm left chuckling to myself. What I particularly enjoy is that everything is in jest or good natured and even when it's not—case in point: Duftmon—it doesn't come across as overly malicious or turn me off the character. Dynasmon's candid comebacks were 10/10, especially his final one (me sitting here all "do you need some ice for that burn, boys?" I half wanted Dukemon to come back and high-five him).
I'm honestly kind of in awe at the legitimate life advice and lessons to be found in this fic. I think that also must be what gives the characters that extra dimension of realness. On a less serious note, the scenes of Magnamon slamming his helmet onto his head (this is what happened, you probably can't convince me otherwise) and Ulforce's dramatic shriek will never leave me. Is there ever a chapter where I won't be dying of laughter? ALSO, Examon is making friends. My feels. :')
I can't get over how good Rhodo is. The scene wouldn't be the same without the rose apron detail, LOL. At the beginning, I thought he might be a fairly stereotypical flamboyant, fabulous gay guy, however I find him quite unique. I can't quite put my finger on what it is, but I enjoy it all the same.
The Alphamon/OuRyuumon moments were sweet, even if I think these two aren't doing the best job at hiding it, aha. :p Aw man, it strikes me as sad that they feel the need to hide their relationship because I feel like the majority of the RKs wouldn't judge them on it, but I understand why for both of them. There's a lot of reality in that too, and I love how you explore such issues. Makes me sad, but room for character growth and acceptance! I look forward to it!
Nice build up to the reveal of Dukemon's secret (idk if can it be called that?) throughout this chapter. It does make me rethink how judgmental some of the RKs could be. THE LAYERS, THE COMPLEXITY. It's awesome how you make me think on something more than once or twice and still leave me making speculations.
If I had to name a character that gets under my skin, it would be OuRyuumon. I can get where he's coming from, but I don't like the way he's going about it. He's in my top three of characters I'd like to see change and grow as the story progresses. And then you go and melt my heart with the ending to that scene. (Pfft, Alphamon's closing quip tho, that's freaking gold.)
Wow, I thought something else was going on there for a second until I read Anubismon's name. Hahaha, was that your intention or am I just a dirty person? But yeah, back to Anubismon and his brother. Unfortunately for Anubismon his cunning disposition is replaced by desperation and maybe a hint (or more) of madness? He's backed into a corner and it's time for his last stand. Admittedly, it does sound crazy to me, but makes me wonder just how many digimon like him dare to take on the Royal Knights? Maybe his type are less madmen and more blindingly arrogant.
(i told you i would come back :D)
| TheUtopianSociety chapter 14 . 6/25/2016
As always, your ability to show your setting is on point. Also, I love how genuine all your characters feel. You haven't done anything that has struck me as weird, you've just really nailed every interaction and situation so far. It's been a blast reading so far and I'm really looking forward to what comes next especially as it relates to Duftmon. After Craniamon from a few chapters ago, I'm excited for what comes next. One last thing, your pacing is fantastic. That's it for now. You have a loyal reader in me.
| datsonyat chapter 5 . 6/17/2016
It's small, but the detail of two moons is really nice; it continues to establish a different world, almost subconsciously. I didn't realize how neat it actually was until I reread it.
BlackMetalGarurumon saying "my sensors" as opposed to "I heard" or something of that variety also adds onto the mountain of minor things you have that make this story great. The little distinctions among the digimon and their abilities give so much dimension. The entire introduction of the brothers has a lot of this going on, such as how Anubismon will differentiate himself from another famous Anubismon.
A few different thoughts on Anubismon and his plans: I thought you might follow a villain of the week a la X-Files, but the way his intro ends is ominous and he sounds so confident and intelligent that I could see him as a true threat. BlackMetalGarurumon is funny in his own right and manages to be frightening based on description alone. Trigger-happy psychos, man.
Something else I like but keep forgetting to mention: that your digimon bleed blood and data. No idea why, I just really like this concept.
After looking up Duskmon, I sympathize with Examon. That would indeed be unnerving. All of the budding friendships give me warm feels! I love these guys and their banter so much. Somehow I feel you're gonna get tired of me saying that eventually, haha! Hmm, now I'm trying to picture what they look like underneath their armour. Is there any art or descriptions of their faces somewhere?
...Did I just see a play on Skype? Ahahaha, that's too good! Hell yes to technology in the Digital World, especially in a medieval castle where no one is really expecting it.
I'm debating whether KaiserGreymon has an Australian or English accent. Either way, he's clearly a vivacious, funny digimon, haha. Never trust someone that claims they know how to use a PC... It'll go south quickly the way AncientGarurumon experienced. :'D I'm interested to see if the other big groups will make an appearance! You've done a good job giving the RKs and the WT decisive differences in more than personality.
Ah, the classic "don't worry" and transition into WE ARE DEFINITELY NOT OKAY. Ugh, I feel so bad for the digimon of the UDC. What a conniving fellow Anubismon is. He shines as a cunning, slick villain very clearly here. I love how utterly predatory this section came across as.
LOL, I've always imagined Ulforce being a speed demon in inappropriate places. Thank you for bringing life to my imagination. His casual "Guys," is just the icing on the cake.
The true clashing finally begins. You convey the tension between everyone very well. I wasn't sure what Examon would choose prior to reading the following; I thought his ability to remain collected and see things objectively would keep him from deviating from the mission, but we all have our weaknesses and hindsight is 20/20, no? It always feels weird to say, but it's good to see characters' flaws rear their heads. Adds more realism to a character.
I admit, I was surprised that the RKs weren't one-shotting some of the digimon and taking hits themselves; I'm too used to them being godly beings. This was a nice change of pace and further grounds them in reality—well, as realistic as Digimon gets. I enjoyed seeing the RKs in action in a real fight. They /still/ get mouthy with each other in the heat of battle. x) Never change, guys.
I know what happens to the brothers, so why are you trying to endear me to them, even though they're clearly not so great people? D:
Not so great at commenting on fight scenes because I read them with big eyes and envy, lol. It didn't occur to me the first time that Examon was completely out for blood there, with the "He drove it forward." That's quite a powerful line, and I can see why it began to cause friction with certain RKs with differing views.
"Oh, Fanglongmon, no" I found this pretty intriguing, getting into digimon religious views and what they might use as expressions due to those. The church scene further built on this. I find myself wanting more of this kind of worldbuilding and the possibility of seeing the gods themselves, or perhaps they're just gods in the mythical sense. There is a chapter title with World Tree in it so :0 Time will tell.
Shit-eating grin is basically Ulforce, hahaha. He's sort of coming around. Maybe? A little bit? Like I've said before, you top every line I've previously thought unbeatable.
I feel for Examon here and I don't. I understand why he did it, but that doesn't make it a good decision. At least he can own what he did and try to make up for it. How many more times can I express how relatable your characters are? I could make a joke, but I'll leave it at Alphamon is a boss while remaining professional and understanding.
Well... I can't unsee that. Alphamon /does/ resemble a rabbit, lmao. Thank you for bringing this knowledge into my life, KaiserGreymon. Aside from that, the final section is so sinister and the introduction of a bigger plotline appears.
I'm having a hard time finding anything to legitimately give crit to because nearly all of it is so good. You already know and want to polish your earlier descriptiveness and syntax, so I don't have much to add concrit-wise at the moment.
| datsonyat chapter 4 . 6/17/2016
Pfft, I already have to confess my emotions of huge grinning and excitement to get back to reading this. x)
The opening lines for this chapter are good examples of when it's perhaps better to tell than to show. Yeah, you could've fleshed out all of those scenes, but would they have added a lot to the characters or plot or would it have made the chapter overly bulky? I wonder if this is something to consider in your edits. I think the additional scenes would be interesting depending on how they're written.
Alphamon admitting Dukemon's true nature made me chuckle. I prefer your Dukemon to, say, X-Evolution's fairly calm, very honourable, enigmatic version. Hothead!Dukemon is more fun and I find it suits him very well in this story.
"Once you get Duftmon to stop glaring at you all the time" WAIT THIS HAPPENS? THIS IS A THING? I wasn't aware he possessed the ability to stop glaring. :p
Sleipmon is such a nice guy, though. He's level-headed and analytical without being pretentious about it. He has a soft-spoken aura about him. There's nothing I dislike about him, but he's not unbelievable in that aspect (ie, an absolute paragon of light and goodness or something). He feels very real, and again I'll say that's rare.
hghggh It's so cool that Examon is our gateway into the world of the Royal Knights. You don't have to awkwardly explain anything in-fic that's not already being explained to him in an organic way.
You write Alphamon as such an excellent leader. His ability to balance his position of leadership and personal feelings is very well-done. Also, OuRyuumon's inclusion! I feel like this is really important if we're going to see Alphamon Ouryuken at some point. And their relationship! Wow, you really left me speechless with that the first go-around! It was a pleasant surprise, I assure you. I wasn't expecting it, because often people write their own sexuality, which I certainly don't fault them for if that's what they're comfortable with. Their relationship feels natural and mature to me, if that makes sense? A couple themes of this fic are inclusion and acceptance, so I really like that this is a pairing and is treated with respect; it doesn't feel like pandering to yaoi fans or a "have to" sort of deal. It was sweet and it made me happy to see. :) Haha, I've been wanting to tell you how much I liked this aspect and the way you wrote it since I started reading.
Duftmon is about as tactful as a wrecking ball swinging at full force. You managed to elicit simultaneous massive cringing and cackling from me. I was on the edge of my seat waiting for his appearance as he is my favourite RK design-wise and out in various canons (Cyber Sleuth Duftmon, anyone?). He does and doesn't disappoint in a way. I think I was expecting a strategist to be more accepting and mature, but his characterization definitely fits him and does work, and also leaves room for a lot of character growth. I'm looking forward to seeing how he develops through this story and Holy War.
The whole pool scene is fun and very dynamic, giving us a taste of RK shenanigans throughout the fic. SAve mE from Ulforce's jokes, oh my god. Ulforce ultimately wins me over here, despite being a jerk about Examon. Dukemon continues to be a stand-up guy, even with his flaws. I feel like I can always cheer for him. Magnamon is never not cute—I'M SORRY MAGNAMON BUT IT'S THE TRUTH—and Craniamon's attitude piques my interest.
Honestly, so many of your lines kill me. They expand on a character and make me laugh at the same time. Rhodo just comes so naturally, it's hilarious. He reads like he writes himself. Dynasmon too; he just rolls with it. Omegamon's reaction to them is several shades of great, "are u guys for srs right now? really?"
The bit of worldbuilding we get with the practice fight answers how they train without decimating the surrounding area and each other. A small detail, yet it's rather important and a cool explanation.
I suck at action scenes, so I bow to your skills in writing them. They're written in such a way that there's enough description without it bloating the scenes or slowing them down. They very much read as quickly as they're supposed to be happening. I have to agree with Examon on how badass Dukemon was using his cape. It's nice that you've written tactics for Examon and Dukemon, because I do see them both as clever characters.
Yay for Examon not getting completely destroyed in a curbstomp! He's still skilled, just not as much as a veteran RK yet. Good choices all around.
This was a strong chapter with a lot of characters having a lot going on and you balanced it well.
| Francizuski chapter 42 . 6/13/2016
Since the fic was already finished by the time i found it, i'm just going to leave a general review in the last chapter.
The story is very well written and detailed. One of the things that i like the most is that your villains aren't doing what they're doing just because they want it or because they're psychos. They have actually understandable and noble goals (Well, except for the mercs and Dorbickmon to a lesser extent), as shown in its finest in the Valdurmon battle in the World Tree.
Speaking of the antagonists, i like that even outnumbered, they can fight toe-to-toe with the Royal Knights by exploiting their psychological and emotional sides.
There were some weird things, like how DarkKnightmon wiped the floor with FIVE Royal Knights by himself after falling from a ridiculously big height. Or why Alphamon decided it was a good idea to search only himself and Omegamon to investigate a DarkKnightmon-concerned case, knowing what he's capable of.
Your RKs are well-developed and likable, and they all play a important part of the story, but i missed RhodoKnightmon after his chapter with Sleipmon. I kinda don't like Duftmon, because we only see his antisocial, friendless and condescending side (Among other flaws). He doesn't have any socially good qualities.
If you plan to answer this review, could you say how do you picture the knights armorless? Some are easy, like Dynasmon, but others, like Alphamon, not so much. And don't get the wrong idea. Seriously.
I would rate your story 9.0/10. I hope Holy War keeps up!