|Reviews for Mass Effect 3: After the Fall and Other Stories|
| CyanB chapter 5 . 10/8/2012
Just the right tone for turians to feel at home.
Bonus points for the military history.
| PapaSix1 chapter 5 . 10/7/2012
This is just kick-ass, I can imagine all of it in my mind as I read and I can also get a sense of camaraderie between the characters.
Keep it up, this story is a gem.
| Anon42 chapter 4 . 8/1/2012
Well, I'll be damned. Someone actually managed to make one of the failendings NOT suck? I'm impressed, dood, I really am. Didn't think it was possible to salvage any single one of them, but here I am, proven wrong. And I like it.
Good work, dude.
| Aronim chapter 4 . 5/13/2012
Though your writing could definitely use some work, you salvage the ending of ME3 as well as make the destroy a choice that doesn't make you seem like a complete monster. Your softening of the sacrificing of synthetics makes up for a lot in the game.
Vega and Tali seems to be not quite spot on. It might just be me, but something in their entries doesn't quite seem right to me, mainly the "to the max" in Vega's. And the "Dear diary" in Tali's seems odd to me. Nothing weird about Tali documenting her thoughts, but writing "Dear diary" just doesn't mesh with my impression of her. This might just be me though.
You need better grammar. You are particularly bad at ending your sentences properly. A lot of your fic is a long string of sentences separated by commas, where you really ought to put in more full stops.
Even the entries that seem to be "stream of conciousness"-writing seem a little too jumbled and would benefit from more short sentences and full stop.
Wrex also seems slightly too verbose. Of course he is a leader with diplomatic abilities, but you haven't quite nailed his speech pattern.
Garrus is spot on though.
| Kyouzou chapter 4 . 5/11/2012
Interesting concept, and it seems to be developing well, however it's still fairly ambivalent as to its future progress so we'll wait and see. Also, the name is Shepard, not Shepherd, in addition there are a few other minor inconsistencies mostly in terms of spelling, I'd suggest just running a spell check, or reading over it carefully. If you want to really improve, get a BETA.
| Flo chapter 4 . 4/18/2012
This was amazing - particularly the way you handled all the reporting. I really hope you continue it. The integrated boot camp concept is really good to read.
A quick con-crit though, you do occassionally fall into 'as you already know' type dialogue which can become a bit wooden, such as in the first scene.
A few punctuation problems too but nothing too major. For example, typically the following lines would have apostrophes as such (these are corrected versions of the lines in the chapter):
"My XO doesn't need to be screened, Sergeant, ..."
"Quite right, as we discussed the other day, I think ..."
"I always did like a challenge, General."
| Wedge-B5 chapter 4 . 4/5/2012
Reminds me of Starship Troopers (the novel). Look forward to reading more
| Cheek chapter 4 . 4/4/2012
Though it was a nice read, this kind of fairy tale ending would actually have been worse than the Mass Effect 3 ending. If everyone lived happily ever after it would diminish the idea of choice and consequence.
Mass Effect 3 was about sacrifice. The one(only) good thing about the ending of the game was that it stayed true to that theme.
You've done away with the things that made Mass Effect interesting. The racial tensions, complicated interspecies politics. I doubt that after the Reapers were defeated, everyone would forget the past and be best of friends.
I doubt that the prospect of being trapped in the the Sol system would be enough for them to look past their differences. After all it took Shepard doing some crazy thing to get them to forget grievances and unite in the face of extinction.
| Hijokugei chapter 4 . 4/1/2012
Epic Win. This is pretty much exactly what I imagined at the end of ME3 (which probably explains why I didn't have much of a problem with it... hm...), which makes me happy. I didn't see if you included it earlier, but is there any work on a non-relay based FTL drive?
Also, what about other systems that are isolated or whatever? Are there any updates?
| DarkangelGuard77 chapter 4 . 3/29/2012
Upon reading this I feel better about the Mass Effect 3 ending... Thank you, I can't wait to read more :)
| Gfzgfx chapter 4 . 3/29/2012
This is a great fic and a much more palatable ending than the bioware debacle. I noticed a few grammar errors and typos but most of them didn't pull me out of the story. Please continue this. I can't wait to learn more about life after the Reapers.
| Razorsmile chapter 4 . 3/26/2012
Oh that's good. That's really good. I especially like the idea of using the Marine Corps culture as an interspecies unification program. Elegant yet practical.
| bigking chapter 4 . 3/25/2012
It just occured to me that even if the endings in the games stay exactly the same, the next game in the mass effect universe will probably be just like this. all the people that didn't die in the battle trying to get along on one planet. That would be a pretty cool game. not so much combat as the others but much more politics and individual interactions and stuff. heh id buy it. keep up the good writing. it helps ease the pain lol
| Harrie chapter 3 . 3/25/2012
Excellently written... Simply marvelous.
I was supposed to be in bed 2 hours ago. Yet here I am, riveted to my chair. I couldn't stop reading, I had to finish it.
| Rise Against713 chapter 3 . 3/24/2012
great job. you did a great job of keeping things true to the ending (not that i liked it or anything). I hope you make more but from the ending of the chapter i'm not sure if you are. Either way, great job