Reviews for Fate
Guest chapter 33 . 9/5/2017
How Krystal feels about Panther at the end could be summed up in the lyrics of the chorus in the song The Pretender by the Foo Fighters;
What if I say I'm not like the others?
What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays?
You're the pretender
What if I say I will never surrender?
Guest chapter 12 . 8/30/2017
Greenwood Nova Scotia or Greenwood Bowling Green
general whitefur chapter 33 . 7/4/2017
And I finished it. And holy crap. This story had me on the edge of my seat every time I picked it up to read it. There was so much DRAMA. Good drama though. The kind that made me want to keep reading to find out what happens next.

Throughout the story you wrote Fox and Krystal so well. They had such a convincing characterization, and they bounced off of each other really well. The first chapters had me awwing and gnashing my teeth as they would get so close, only to bounce away. Then Brooke happened and holy crap I about lost my shit because goddamn it Foxy of course you would fuck this up. All of that though made the last chapters, with the two of them finally together and happy, so much more rewarding than it ever would have been if they just fell into each other's arms without a hitch.

Panther too was actually really well done. You made him an asshole that of course Krystal would want to get away from and that Fox would despise, but at the same time he's an almost sympathetic character. Almost. The last couple of chapters, when he and Fox finally meet, do an awesome job of showing the differences in how they think about Krystal. Fox loves her with every fiber of his being, and would do anything to protect her, but at the same time would never do anything that would hurt her. Hence he doesn't kill Panther, because he knows she wouldn't approve. Panther, on the other hand, obsesses over her, and is determined to own her in an almost literal sense. There's no doubt in my mind that if he were to get her back he would be good to her for a month, and then he'd be right back to his old self once he felt like he had her in the palm of his hand again.

And of course I can't not talk about Katt and Falco. They didn't have a ton of screen time, which is understandable considering we're really looking at Fox and Krystal, but the time we do get to spend with the pink and fur blue feathered pheasant are handled really well. It makes me want an entire story about the two of them. Katt serves as a rock for Krystal, keeping her head on straight and always bringing up the other side of the coin when Krystal starts to get tunnel vision on what she's going to do about Fox or Panther. And, in the end, she's always supportive of whatever Krystal decides. Not blindly, but faithfully. And Falco? Well, Falco is Falco, and him getting mad and drunk and then buying a ring and proposing to Katt frankly makes perfect sense.

Then the ending. I know a lot of people beg you to continue this story but...I really don't think that's something that should happen. I get why people would want it, but this ending is perfect. It leaves us to imagine what happens next, and where Fox and Krystal will go in their lives. It closes the window on their lives at a point where they're about to move on. Our look, which was concerned with them finding each other and getting together is over, and now it's time to let them go forth, save the galaxy a few times, and then probably have a whole army of tiny McClouds.

I'm gonna close out now, but I wish I didn't have to. This story really helped stoke the fires of my love for Star Fox and, more specifically, these two orange and blue fluffballs. And that, in my book, made this a damn fine read.
general whitefur chapter 8 . 5/27/2017
I have to say, Panther making Krystal do all of his home work for him while he's on vacation honestly has to be about the most dickish thing I can imagine. I mean, I get it, he needs it done otherwise he's gonna fail but...really? I mean, it'd be one thing if Krystal offered to do it, but she didn't, unless I'm being dumb and remember wrong, but no, he just told her to do it. Well, what do you expect? That's Panther. Utterly self centered.

Also "Panther would never hurt me by doing anything with her." Bull shit. BULL. SHIT.

Oooooh. Date night! Oh boy. Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh...You know what I mean. Also, Krystal, you shouldn't have done that, but you totally made the right choice. And I fully expect it all to go horribly wrong. *bounces with excitement*
general whitefur chapter 7 . 5/27/2017
Drama! Love! Oh these two fluffballs. Fox knows he's slipping down the rabbit hole...sorry Peppy.

Foxy as a lifeguard though. Why do I get the feeling the ladies on the beach are gonna be drinking him in the whole time? I mean it is Fox, the man who can do one armed push ups.

But man, I think the biggest part of this chapter would have to be Krystal and her encounter with Panther's goons. Because of course Panther has goons to stalk his girlfriend while he's away totally not getting drunk and smashing the nearest thing with feminine features. You know Panther, very committed to monogamy and all of that, never have to worry about him going to smell other roses, no sir.

Also, I'm sure I've mentioned it by why not mention it again, because it continues to be one of my favorite aspects of this story, the internal dialogue. Seriously, very few authors even attempt doing internal dialogue, and rarely with this level of regularity. I mean, this story literally would not be the same without it. You write these characters so well, and it never comes across more beautifully than when you get inside their heads directly.

"I do...don't I?" *tears hair out* Yup, I'll just end it there.
general whitefur chapter 6 . 5/20/2017
Show off. Seriously Fox, one handed push ups? Shameless. Though it worked, because obviously Krystal was impressed. Her and that adorable blush.

Speaking of Krystal, I think my favorite detail here was here having dumped the water bottle over her head. She knows exactly what she did, and she doesn't care. The level of confidence the two of them have in themselves is really refreshing. Usually one or both of them is portrayed as feeling massively insecure, and though they both have their insecurities, they don't let them interfere with their lives all that much. They're healthy, basically.

Also, Foxy got himself a job. Life guarding is a good pick for him, even if Panther's friends are going to be watching him and Krystal constantly now.

The end to this chapter though. Krystal echoing what Fox has been thinking this whole time "But I don't want to be friends." It makes me heart flutter. These two are on a collision course, and I can't wait to see what happens.
general whitefur chapter 5 . 5/8/2017
Fox you better get your ass a job after you bought that thing. Still, if Krystal likes it, totally worth it.

I know I say this every time, but I don't care if I say it on all 33 chapters. You write these two so perfectly. I am scribbling down mental notes on how you do it, because I don't think there's anyone on the archive that can compete with this. They're casual and flirty, and at the same time just a little unsure of themselves, since Fox doesn't know what they are and Krystal is still remaining loyal to Panther *shudder*

That line about court martial and severe punishment, and then Fox's growl. Oh Fox.

This is probably an odd thing to focus on, but I love the whole expired milk bit. I know, I know, why the hell would anyone like that? But it's a little detail that makes their life feel real, rather than just, well, made up. It's something so utterly mundane that it actually stands out. Not to mention it makes Krystal more relateable. I mean, how many of us have done exactly the same thing?

And with that I think I'll be moving on to the next chapter. I can't wait to see the orange and blueberry out for the day together.
general whitefur chapter 4 . 4/28/2017
These two are so cute together. I'm gonna be saying this a lot, because I honestly can't say it enough, you have the chemistry between them down so perfect it's almost scary. It isn't that they fit together so easily, it's that they find ways to fit and they bounce off each other. I'm probably just a sucker for the two of them, but then who isn't?

I love seeing the two of them just talking together, enjoying each other's presence. And I really like this idea of Fox feeling a lot more comfortable and liberated around her. Usually it's just the opposite, with him tripping over his own words and constantly putting his foot in his mouth. But this feels natural, and really drives home the fact that they have a natural chemistry between them.

And, finally, I think my favorite image in this chapter is of the two of them just sitting on the couch, water bottles in hand, eating ramen noodles. It's so normal and real and just...ugh, I feel like a broken record, but whatever. I'm just gonna go read more now :D
general whitefur chapter 3 . 4/26/2017
Oh my god everything about Fox and Krystal's first meeting. I don't know if it was obvious beforehand, but I have been shipping these two literally since I was in fourth grade. Star Fox: Assault was my first game, and even though for some strange reason I thought Krystal was a cat when I first saw her, I also thought that she and Fox needed be together. Obviously some things about that have change like, you know, realizing she's a vixen, but my god if I don't love these two. I'm sorry, but I might ramble more than I did in the other two reviews because, like, oh my god these two.

So, I mean, first off, she broke his nose. Or close to it. I mean, that right there is Krystal. She is a bad ass to the eleventh degree. There's a freaking reason she got onto the Star Fox team in the games, and I guarantee that it wasn't just because Fox was hopelessly in love with her the moment their eyes met even though, you know, he was. But this seriously drives home the fact that she is not some frail, delicate little flower. She may be a rose, but she has thorns and oh my god...oh god, I didn't even think about who that just sounded like. Huh boy.

And that. Inner. Dialogue. I love the way you've done it to where in these three chapters Fox has been giving us a running commentary on everything that's happening. It's a great way to get inside a character's head, and add in a dash of humor for good measure. Make that two dashes. Is that a hyphen? I think that's a hyphen. Whatever. Losing my mind.

Oh and almost slammed Katt. "The apartment is in my name." Oh that is classic Katt. Always out to remind everyone that she's in charge, and she will do as she damn well pleases. You nail these freaking characters every time.

I better stop before I rave too much, but seriously, this is hands down one of the most creative and hilarious first meetings for these two that I've ever read. I cannot wait to see more of these two!
general whitefur chapter 2 . 4/26/2017
"Who's Krystal?" Oh Fox...

I think if there's something I really need to get off my chest about this chapter, it's the fact that it just feels so...*real*. I know that sounds corny, like I'm some Edge Lord TV reviewer talking about the latest HBO drama, but that's not what I mean. I just feel like you really, really, get these characters. You breathe life into them, and then they just run with it. Katt and Falco's chemistry is just spot on, and Fox's inner dialogue accomplishes what a paragraph of emotional exposition never could. I might be a little biased on that last point just because I love to use that technique myself, but it's really great to see someone else using it too, and using it well.

I also think it's a great choice having Falco actually have a family. He's so often depicted as a loner with no relatives and just a few friends, it brings a new level of character to him to see him working to support his single mother, and his three siblings.

And then Fox. Fox's desire to get out of Falco's house as quickly as possible is really spot on for his character. He's a very independent, but also very giving person. He doesn't feel comfortable taking, and the entire time all he can think about is the fact that, no matter what Falco his mother say, he's making life more difficult by staying there.

Like I said, you really have given these character a liveliness that a lot of other authors struggle to do. Between the dialogue, the inner thoughts for Fox, and just the environments they live in, it really feels like a living, breathing, familiar world.
general whitefur chapter 1 . 4/26/2017
There's a lot of things I like about this fic. I'm actually a few chapters ahead of this, but I'm gonna go ahead and leave some reviews for you right up until where I am.

I'll admit, it's been awhile since I've actively read fanfiction, but Groundis and Sanitarium both suggested this fic, and I can already see why. I'm having a ton of fun with it.

I mean, first off, I love just how normal it is. Most Star Fox fanfiction is more along the lines of "save the Lylat System, save the galaxy", and much as I love it, I think putting those same characters in a much more normal life can be just as, if not more, interesting. It gives them a whole new way to interact and experience life together.

Goddamn if Corneria City isn't hot in the summer. 95 degrees isn't that bad if you live where I love, which is basically Tatooine at this point, but in the middle of a city? With the concrete, asphalt, and car exhaust? That makes it feel ten or fifteen degrees hotter.

And finally, Fox living with Falco. Good luck Fox, and godspeed. It'll be an experience you will never forget.
SergeantLawson chapter 33 . 3/7/2016
Bruh. Brilliant. Even after my THIRD read through, utterly brilliant. Your proficiency in writing definitely shows here. Even the mere concept of this story takes your creativity to a whole new level. This is a rare, and greatly appreciated, departure from the established universe. The fact that you really did have to start fresh for this fic, with little to zero source material (besides characters) to go off of, makes a strong statement. If you can, please finish this. However, I would strongly prefer you focus on Broken II. Either way, the pen is yours.

Keep writing!
SergeantLawson
Karkat chapter 33 . 1/27/2016
I loved it! I love everything about it! I just wish there was more!
Shadow Of The Pack chapter 33 . 10/28/2015
Great story. Keep up the good work.
Guest chapter 33 . 7/16/2015
Please update?
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