Reviews for The Girl with Red Hair
DarkBlade the Damned chapter 6 . 5/21/2012
Greetings renatus

I just found your story recently and felt the need to complement you on then excellent story so far it is truly one of the better Harry Potter Naruto crossovers I have read.

I have found it fairly original for a Harry Potter / Naruto crossover. Many have Naruto and Harry being family, few have Harry growing up in Konoha and knowing Kushina and Minato. And none to date have had Harry's presence resulting on Minato surviving the Kyubi attack.

I also think you have presented the Characterisation of most of the characters well. Well at least the Naruto ones. Harry seems overly withdrawn and silent, but that is understanable given what has happened to him.

I am curious about Orchimaru’s tampering on Harry. Has he given Harry a bloodline if so is it the dead bone pulse? That is the only one I can think of that he would both have access to and would cause Harry's bones to thicken.

On the Chakra chains. Are the Chains special Chakra or Magic? is there a difference between the two.

Just thinking if Harry is 7 or 8 when Naruto is born then following the canon timeline Naruto will only be finishing the academy by the time Harry finishes Hogwarts in canon. Is that what you have planned?

I must admit I havce concerns about Harry attending Hogwarts. The main one is the Slow pace of development. Whenever crossover characters go to Hogwarts their pace of development seems to slow to the canon one in the HP novels.

To my mind as a genin this is something Harry cannot afford as it will mean Little or no physical training / opportunity to learn techniques. During a time when his growth in physical and technical skills and practical experience is critical for his future

I guess this can be offset if Harry goes in with the aim to learn specific knowledge. If he chooses not to on topics taught, but aims aim to learn, curses, hexes, shields, useful potions / poisons. Charms transfiguration. Also Healing to see if he can restore Minato to full strength.

Possibly if he meets up with Tonks in his first year he could help her train and she could give him an idea how wizards fight.

Another thought is there is not necessarily any need for harry to stay the full 7 years. He only needs to get to the point he can train himself in the other spells as Shinobi sometimes do with techniques.

For example after 3rd year, if he could take Sirius back to the Elemental nations. Sirius gets a chance to recover and Harry potentially gets someone that can train him.

The Snippets you have shown so far of his time at Hogwarts leave me feeling unsure. In Konoha rapid development seems to occur in the Genin after they leave the academy as they approach Chunin rank. This is driven by their need to develop skills to survive and be able to fulfil duties on missions. How well will Harry be able to develop without that need often literally life and death driving him. How will he be able to grow stronger to protect Naruto.

So far seems rather confrontational with Hermione. Please keep this up, I really hate stories where she is a know it all and seemingly a master of Magic who Harry seemingly cannot make any progress without.

Let him develop and learn skills with an eye to helping his Ninja skills. Eg Silencing spells, disillusionment. Apparation. Legimacy, obliviation.

I would be surprised if Harry found it easy to relate to or socialise with the students at Hogwarts. Harry will be coming from a world with the constant threat of skirmish or war even when there is peace. Events such as the assassination attempts on Naruto and the Kyubi attack will have made him familiar with conflict and death. By contrast the kids at Hogwarts are woefully innocent, Harry will not have much or anything in common with them.

Hermione should rub him the wrong way. She relies on book learning, following authority and ideas. Harry seems to excel at practical hands on learning, as a shinobi he knows the rules are only guidelines and only matter if he gets caught (if hes not cheating hes not trying) and as for Ideals, his willingness to fight and kill may label him evil by Dumbledore and the magical worlds standards where as he is simply normal by the standards of his home.

A few questions on your future plans.

Do you intend to prevent the Uchina massacre or at least prevent most of the clan from dying? Please I hope so both for the sake of Itachi and Sasuke and to remove one of the problems Naruto will have in the future.

Also on Pairings, you indicated that pairings will not play a mayor role in the story but that Harry will be paired with a Girl w Red hair. For the love of God please tell me you do not plan on not Ginny.

I hate this pairing in canon because it comes out of nowhere with no real reason behind it. In this story other than the Red hair I dont see in what way Ginny would appeal? To Uzumaki Harry.

They come from very different worlds with very different values and fundamental differences in their societies.

I hope instead you were refereing to either your OC Lin or possibly Mei or Karin?

Oh well, you have done a fantastic job on this story to date so I will wait and see how you plan it to go in the future.

Regards

DarkBlade
Wulfenbach chapter 3 . 5/20/2012
or ya know, you actually could have just taught the academy students TRADITIONAL ninjitsu.
Xhexia chapter 5 . 5/20/2012
Love this story so far. Just have a question how is he so heavy and hace such dense bones said by them to be caused by orchimaru when not long before that when he was jumping after rin when she fell off the mountain and saying he didnt have enough weight she is heavyier and wishing he was heavyier. Is the wish the cause for the extra weight or orchimaru
yamiduke13 chapter 6 . 5/19/2012
I really enjoyed reading this and I can't wait for more. You have done a great job so far.
aurla0 chapter 6 . 5/19/2012
Waaa This is so interesting...

I hate that Kushina has to die... It's one of the saddest parts in the manga too.

Please update soon This is really good!
imgonnadie chapter 6 . 5/19/2012
Excellent chapter.
Slightly insane chapter 6 . 5/19/2012
Hah!

I love this story.

It is awesome.

I want to read more.

I love Minato-Papa.

Sarutobi is in deep doo-doo with him!

Sorry, too giddy from reading an awesome chapter to be much use in writing the new one.
Fk306 chapter 6 . 5/19/2012
this is great I look forward to more
Sticking To A Niche chapter 6 . 5/19/2012
Awesome story bro, please update soon. I love your writing style! It's really descriptive and easy to imagine. Just one question though. Is the person he'll be paired with from the hp universe or the Naruto universe? I'd understand if you can't answer due to spoiling, but I'd appreciate it alot if you do. If it's Ginny tell me so I can just stop reading. Absolutely hate Harry/Ginny.

Anyways, please update soon!

UP
rollicking skater chapter 6 . 5/19/2012
This is a Wonderful Story! I so liked it... and the length of the chapters... aren't they delightfully long? ) Your story-telling style is very smooth and nice, the descriptions of characters are very finely played out, great job!

I really liked your Hisui/Hari character - so very reserved and thoughtful. He really has an intersting temper and nature - looks like a true shinobi to me. That was a wonder you saved Minato - I didn't expect Him to survive - but that's a nice thing to do as Naruto needs some parent figure to follow (plus a brother's support).

You have a nice variety of characters in your story - and that adds up to the detailed and thought-out picture of the world you're drawing. I'd like to see more of Itachi in the future - will Harry influence him? I wonder if Harry would be graduating from the Academy earlier as well, along with Itachi. And that brings up to a question on Uchiha clan's manipulations...

I also wonder when Harry's gonna use his Parseltongue abilities - that be a surprise and probably, a problem with villagers' wary and suspicious minds.

Ah, talking about descriptions: you mentioned Hari wearing geta, but what about his everyday outfit? Sometimes I feel that such minor details like details of dresses and general appearance are lacking (probably due to my feminine nature, eh).

I'm thinking of Orochimaru - if he's going to make an appearance. What a sinister character... Are there any more 'unregistered' changes in Harry no-one noticed? Huh, makes us wait for an update with more vigour ). And I'm still waiting for an explanation on Fox's devided nature - are there any specifics as to the separated parts of the Nine-tails? Why are they different?

I noticed that I don't think about Harry in connection to a magical world as Naruto's world is interesting enough to make me anxious about 'what happens next'. I'm sure that shinobi art does Harry much good... but magic?.. who knows? I still don't see anything Harry could gain from Magical school. Except for learning about his heritage ... and what about his development as a shinobi then, and leaving Naruto? Huh, that'd be a shame for his shinobi career. ... Well, it'd be interesting to know How Dumbledore would find out about Harry's residence and How he's going to try to persuade Harry to return to Britain - I don't think the boy would willingly come back.

Anyways, more questions and speculations - and I'm sure to be waiting for the update! The story is great, I appreciate the skill, time and imagination you put in it to please your readers' minds ) Thanks a lot for your work!

Sincerely,

R.S.
Blinded in a bolthole chapter 6 . 5/19/2012
1) Kinda reminds me of that younger bro of Gamakichi, though it seems Konbu's less lazy or dumb.

2) I donno what is this going at this point (I write review as I read, and usually don't return to fix it), but i's bad and from the looks of it Minato is as good as retired (But then again so is Sandaime Tsuchikage). Given how Minato's seal worked on Kyuubi in canon (and Kyuubi was still kicking major arse), I give 60% chance of him still being able to use his ninjutsu.

3) I comment you for not salving Hisui's problems with seals and giving an explaination on why not. Some authors like to use fuuinjutsu to salve ALL problems (relevant or otherwise).

4) I don't think having heavier than average bones is much of a hinderance if Hisui ever tries to be fast. Speed of a Ninja is more of a matter of chakra control and reflex, else Sandaime Raikage, that dreadnaught of a giant man, whose flesh was harder (and probably denser) than iron, could not be so fast.

Though I do hope someone else surpass Minato's speed. Mostly because I prefer Hisui to have his own style.

5) Now I remember this Idate... that genin dropout brother of Ibiki, kind of an unpleasnat fellow.

6) Speaking of familiar faces, what are you planing to do with Kabuto? With Orochimaru gone sooner than in canon, there's a chance that he would not encounter and thus report him to Danzou or set his eyes on him. And with Minato instead of Sandaime Danzou might not have that much of a free reign to do much.

7) It takes a great show of trust to allow suspects of coup and release of Kyuubi to be even around Hokage's son, and from the looks of it Fugaku needs lots of motivation to actually understand that.

8) In Canon, and based on what Itachi said, Shisui was (much like Itachi) from the ROOT, but I doubt Minato would allow anyone from Danzou's to be around him.

9) I blame Danzou! He is sooo blameable.

10) I don' think Uchiha clan actually HAS a formal style. With the power of their Sharingan they could easily find weaknesses of other people's taijutsu and react accordingly.

This however needs a speed and fast reflexes, so while lacking a formal style, they most likely had a basic form with focus on speed and dodging to make them ready for such time as they activated their doujutsu. The idea came from performance of Sasuke in VotE.

Also Uchiha clan was famous, and rather proud in their ninjutsu, so I think they had a style of Ninjutsu, or at least something to allow them to retreat and use their short-midrange fire jutsu.

11) On Wizards and Ninjas, I think there are several fields one can comapre their respective arts:

1: Scale: Ninjustu of rank c and above usually dwarf anything most wizards can make. One of the bigger spells of wizards, fyndfire is about as massive and destructive as a B-rank fire-release.

2: Utility: While i'm sure with time and effort one can recreate effect of house-hold spells with Ninjutsu, it does not really worth bother (both creating and using).

3: Quanitity: A fresh out of Hogwarts (as the most famous wizarding school in the series) Student knows possiblly a lot more spells than a venerable ninja might have seen in his entire life, and wizards are not really limited by affinity and as such.

In fact the only things that limits a wizard of a witch is their will and mentality to cast spells and their willingness to other and learn.

4: Juice: Ninjas, easily run out of juice while wizards can cast spells days on end (as Molly weasley does all the time) and don't even get tired.

In that I think they either use their wands magical connection, or have some kind of Natural Chakra (and considering their casual use of near-impossible-for-ninja spells (as silly as some of them are) I think that kinda fits).

To summerize it, wizards and witches would live a lazier life thanks to theri magic, and when it comes to battle they have lots of nasty little surprised in their sleeves, BUT unlike Ninjas they are predictable (almost all wizards have the same set of spells), and if they are caught, it's the end for them.

And unlike magic (which might be a form of chakra itself), anyone can use chakra to a degree (be it Lee who can only bloster his strength and speed and do water-walking, or the Sannin).

Great job. And I hope my rant was not much of a bother.
Alasoi chapter 6 . 5/19/2012
The actual process of crossover was a bit forced.

But once you got into it, the story is actually quite interesting. I hope you continue it, but I won't get my hopes up.

Everyone abandons their stories, lol.
TrenchcoatMan chapter 6 . 5/19/2012
Yay, new chapter, definitely a good one, even with a cliffy at the end. I really enjoyed it.

I gotta say tho, the way you keep translating names, really bugs me, why bother call it copy-wheel eye instead of keeping it Sharingan. Specially when you used Suiton: Hohanryu at the little omake at the end. They are names after all, not really meant to be translated.

Poor Harry, doesnt seem to be getting any further on his Chakra control, and now he has to deal with all the issues of being a Jinchurriki.

So, will we be seeing Kyuubi talking anytime soon, to Naruto or Harry, and will there be any timeskips soon to bring Naru and Sasuke to a slightly older age.

Also, I cant wait to see how you handle Shisui's death, or lack of with Harry and Minato around.

I cant think of who the gym teacher is, he immediately makes me think of Danzo, but im pretty sure it isnt him.

-TCM
KeiGinya chapter 6 . 5/18/2012
White hair and dense skeletal structure? ...Kimimaro? What's his clan name again ... Kaguya bloodline limit - or maybe just a lesser version (the genetic benefits Tsunade mentioned.

The ages are odd to me. Mostly between Itachi and Harry. Instead of a long litany of dates being spouted off (mostly since it's late and I hate typing on my smartphone), I'll just ask the age difference between the two of them and of their little brothers.

Personally can't stand the Hogwarts bits because of the discrepency of character... though I doubt what you wrote would pass muster when you actually get to writing that part (unless there's a drastic change in atmosphere within the intervening years) so I'm just taking them as non-'canon' omakes.
redrobin chapter 6 . 5/18/2012
I hope they capture and torture whoever tried to assassinate naruto, how dare they attempt an assassination w/ Minato alive. Oh I hope Minato skewer them and Sarutobi is an idiot in revealing the S-class secret, it's S-class Baka. Anyway, was very excited and happy that you updated and wonderful chapter. Miss kushina and I hope that Hisui will be able to successfully water/tree-walk. Hope that the Uchiha's fate will be changed and who is Hisui's stalker and where does the Uchiha stand w/ Naruto? Can't wait for more so update soon.
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