|Reviews for Harry Daniels and the Order of Shadows Bk 2|
| ReflectionsOfReality chapter 5 . 3/24/2012
Honestly I like that the two have gotten things as easily as they have, it means that the story is focused more on the plot rather than covering every minor detail of training. Introducing new magics are fun and interesting but some magic types have been gone over so much in fanfiction stories that they almost form a cannon all of their own. So maybe having a few challenges might add an interesting dynamic to the story BUT please don't sacrifice what they have already gained to create those challenges. Honestly I think that Harry and Hermione are a little handicapped when it comes to dealing with their peers as well as politics as their youth shows in their idealism with a firm eye on the way they should be as well as knowledge of where things are but not a whole lot of how to get between the two points.
Personally I have to wonder if the Shadow Walkers exist what other secret organizations might be around and what agendas they might have. Maybe not ones with completely contrary agendas but go about things in a different way. Heck when I first saw the bit about the Shadow Walkers in the last story I sort of thought it might be related to Ra's al Ghul's League of Shadows from the Batman series. I could easily see a more militant splinter group forming from the Shadow Walkers particularly if the magic wiped their memories of the Shadow Walkers when they left.
Now on a lighter note, prank ideas: The fidelus charm works by marking the boundaries of the secret to be hidden in a runes which is essentially why the charm works best on locations. Thinking a little outside the box though if other magic traditions are used it might be possible for someone casting the charm to use a representation of a secret to be hidden instead. Like lets say someone created a doll that had blood hair and the name of a person and then used that to cast the fidelus... say what would happen if someone like Snape's existence was hidden from the world? Or if the charm was cast on Dumbledore and the entire staff were able to be made the secret keeper so that the old man might not find out he is forgotten for some time. (There is precedence for multiple secret keepers considering that in the unmodified spell if the secret keeper dies all of those that know the secret become its keepers.)
Second idea, since Binns likes to talk about Goblins so much how hard would it be to get him to talk like a Goblin? Say cast a permanent spell on him that gets him to speak nothing but gobbledegook? How long would it take for someone to actually realise it and how long would it take to bring it to the staff's attention?
Feel free to use any idea in the review that you might like in part or all together,
| Spear-of-the-doomed chapter 5 . 3/24/2012
The one thing I would have liked to see was the Flamels give Harry some books on Alchemy. It just sounds like something extra for him to try at some point down the road.
| RRW chapter 5 . 3/24/2012
Loved what happened to those Ravenclaw bullies...I bet Cedric won't want Ms. Chang as a date knowing her true nature. Although I will say I think Mr. Snape has had enough. If you think about it, he was a victim of Dumbledore's "it was just a harmless prank" school of thought when he was a student in Hogwarts. Harry's father was a bully...and he got away with it and got the girl to boot. I don't think that Snape should be attacking the children of his tormentors, but I can understand why he is a bitter man. I honestly think that he and Harry have a lot in common, but they never took the time to really get to know each other. All of their interaction is really reacting to something the other said or did...but they never really understood where the person was coming from. Once he is no longer under Dumbledore's thumb, he could be a great ally to Harry.
| Penny is wise chapter 5 . 3/24/2012
Awesome chapter. How is Chris a Parselmouth too? He's not the BWL so he shouldn't be a PM.
| mizzrazz72 chapter 5 . 3/24/2012
Harry should have broke Dumbledore's wand than his arm.
| blackcallalily chapter 4 . 3/24/2012
awesome! hope you update soon!
| soccershadow3 chapter 4 . 3/22/2012
Its great i like it! I can't wait for more! Update soon!
| Vuurvlieg chapter 1 . 3/21/2012
I'm of two minds about this fic. I really love the universe you've created and some parts are incredibly funny. On the other hand, I kinda dislike the way you write your main characters and to me, the way the characters are written is one of the most important things in a good story.
Like most things, praise loses its value if you get too much of it and you spend a lot of your story on complimenting Harry either yourself or through other characters. The strongest way to impress your reader is sometimes by letting the actions of your characters speek for them. Anything that's earned by a character is more appreceated if he had to struggle for it to a certain point. You've made your main character so smart/powerful/superior that he seems to surf through every situation he ends up in. Any truly interesting character still has to be a 'person' in that they have flaws and maybe doubts. That makes them human and that makes their story's interesting. And however you look at it, your Harry spends an awful lot of time lording his superiority over the people around him, though it isn't portrayed like that, it comes down to it.
Anyway, sorry for ranting. The thing is, I really do like your story and I always like to know how I can improve myself. And in your story, the biggest thing to improve would be the humanity of the characters. I get that it's immensly satisfying to simply take your favorite character out of a story and have him walse over everyone that has irritated you though. :) I hope you're not insulted by this review. That wasn't my meaning.
| Penny is wise chapter 4 . 3/21/2012
| Magos186 chapter 4 . 3/20/2012
I love this series. I very much enjoyed the first story, though if I realized it was going to be a different story for each book, I probably wouldn't have read it. I'm not a fan of incomplete stories. But I am impressed that you finished the first one and got so much of the second one posted so quickly. I am enjoying the series very much and I don't think Harry's full of hot air. I'm patiently waiting for him to perfectly remove Snape...possibly with the help of Hogwarts. You're doing an excellent job so far, but I just have one tiny criticism. Watch your tenses. You keep slipping between past and present. For example in one paragraph you say Harry came down the stairs, but then in another you'll have Harry comes down the stairs. I used to do this a lot myself. Just make sure you keep an eye out for it. Any decent Beta would also be able to help you.
I'm looking forward to reading more.
| SilverDragonBlood chapter 4 . 3/19/2012
This is so good! Can't wait for the next chapter.
| Elizabeth Slytherin III chapter 4 . 3/19/2012
this story is amazing! I absolutely love it! please update it soon, I can not wait to see what happens in the next chapter. this story is so freaking funny!
| 917brat chapter 4 . 3/19/2012
Thia is seriously ly amazing and I really love hoq you have Harry and I hope you keep it up because I really can't wait to see what you are going to have happen next.
| LadyCalus chapter 4 . 3/19/2012
Awesome story so far just finish reading part 1 and now these first chapters of part 2. Looking forward to your next chapter :D
| randomgenius chapter 3 . 3/18/2012
Very, very good! I have to admit, I had my doubts at first (fics can trick the mind, with bad sums and good fics and good sums but lousy fics), but now... wow. How did you manage a story like this in nine-chap installments?
Quick question, though: What happened to Hermione's twin? Hera, the snob? I think she was a witch...
Follow-up note: This isn't as bad now, but I noticed earlier that you kind of bunch up your content into paragraphs or run-ons, sometimes. It's not that bad, but I find it annoying to have to tease out the general idea of a chunk of information after I've gotten on pace with the story. I know it's much less stressful to write it that way, but it's hard on my lazy brain ;) Also, a warning: if Harry and Hermione engage in any kind of "earth bonding cermony" or "predestined love", I AM BOYCOTTING! I DON'T CARE IF IT'S MAGIC, USE YOUR BRAIN! ...*cough* Sorry, these fics can get to me after a bit.
Anyways, always love a good smart!Harry fic, even though I haven't seen many. Keep writing!